I have become precisely what I despise...

A CRACKBERRY ADDICT. The short version of this story is that I lost my GD blackberry. The cherished gift from my husband...gone. And it was my fault completely. Shit happens. I mean, I had it for well over a year and am eligible for an upgrade in December. Leaving me...with a bootleg phone for the next, 6 weeks or so. I am not a happy camper. But anyways...

I went to see Jay-Z in Baltimore on Tuesday night. It was the first time that I have seen Jigga as the headliner and I was hype. Thank you, hubby, for passing them tix on. And HOV did not disappoint. He entered to Run This Town and kept it moving for most of the set. I was rockin. And my bb was in my jeans pocket the whole time. And then...we got up to leave and I grabbed my coat...and when I got to the car, my blackberry was M.I.A. So there you have it. I just sent an email to folks saying, "Partied so hard with Jay-Z, I lost my GD blackberry". And everyone seemed to give me a pass! LOL.

So after a little more than three hours of sleep, I woke up the next day and did a full day of work. Came home and stayed up all of one inning of Game 1 of the World Series. Apparently, I didn't miss much of my Yankees offense, because they didn't score until the 9th inning. And UG-Lee opening (as the NY Daily News headline read) to the WS for sure but I didn't worry. Its the World SERIES not the World GAME.

And then last night, AJ Burnett turned it up a notch and got us a win to even the series. Impressive was the duel between AJ and Pedro. They're just great pitchers and on the biggest stage of the season, neither was trying to give up much. We will see what happens this weekend in Philly. Should be interesting.

I need to plan a ladies night at my house. I have far too many friends that I haven't seen in ages and just need to get them all together. I love hosting parties-as we all know-but when can I kick out the hubby and kids for a night? Seriously. One of them is always around.

Speaking of parties, I wanted to have a MAJOR halloween party this year since it was on a Saturday but shot down the idea when the family trip to Myrtle Beach wiped me out. I think I'll do blowout HALLOWEEN next year. Tryin to be different, you know.

BE SAFE GHOSTS AND GOBLINS!!!

Get busy livin' or get busy dying...

That's damn right.

Once again, I'm confronted with my own mortality. A former colleague of mine had a heart attack and passed. He was 39. When you know something like this, usually you evaluate your own vices, habits, lifestyle. And while I know that these things affect the longevity of my life, well, I guess the question really is: whatchu going to do about it?

I feel less concerned about my own legacy, I suppose. With my children still minors, I feel like they should be taken care of first. My husband, he would be fine. He was a self-sufficient bachelor before me so I have no doubt he could take care of himself. But my kids. What would they remember? Do you ever think about what your own memorial would be like? I have. And the older I get, the smaller I envision it. Really...who wants hundreds of people mourning you when probably only half of them REALLY cared. Nah, I would like it to be small. Family and very close friends only. No theatrics. No falling out please. No ex's or simple acquantinces. No drama. I want to go out as peacefully and as blessed as I came in.

And for the record, I will say that I, up til this point, have lived a full life. Yeah, at age 36. I had a youth that was *how to put it* OVER THE TOP! I was fortunate to have loved and be loved. I experienced euphoric highs like the birth of my daughter and devastating lows like the loss of my friends Barbara and Kim. Yeah, I've lived a good one so far. And with the grace of His Higher Power, I will live another oh, at least 30 to 40 years. And I will add new memories like my girls graduating and getting married.

I learned long ago to live with few regrets. I say "few" since I personally find it almost impossible to escape some of those damned youthful indescrections. But as a whole, I find regrets a waste of emotion and energy. Regret, to me, means you made a decision and you struggle to live with the consequences of said decision. You know, we all make wrong choices. Some of us make them all the time. Its only tragic when you don't learn from that wrong. We all know that some of lifes most valuable lessons are learned from a bad/wrong/poor decision.

I went to the bottom of the ocean with todays post. Its something about being here today and being gone tomorrow that just resonates with me. I guess I've seen and done too much to ignore it.

I wasn't going to do a post today but since I am at work and there is nothing at all going on, I figured what the hell. Might as well do something. So this is totally random and off the top of the dome.

I wonder...

...what Lauren London was really thinking when she was already gestating and then found out Nivea was preggers too? Was she like, "Oh, no this muthafucka..." or was it more like, "Number three out of four ain't too bad!"

...if anyone has done a six degrees of separation chart starting with The Dream/Nivea/Christina Milian/Nick Cannon/Mariah Carey/Derek Jeter, and...whew! If you keep going, um, that's just gross.

...if folks that have anti-Obama propaganda stuck to their car really think of themselves as racists?

...if there are any repercussions for the office manager that talks down to anyone and everyone that is not senior management? (see previous post)

...if red sox nation thought for just a mili-second during their 9th inning collapse in game three, "Jesus, it's going to be another 80+ years before we see another World Championship!"

...are die-hard Skins fan still thinking this season can be saved? And if so, WHY???!!!

...why when I despise someone/something, I really wish the worst for them?

...why I might be one of a handful of people that can admit that previous line?

...about Bobby Brown's state of mind. In his Behind the Music episode, this man says that the low point in his life was when Superhead posts his ass sleepin on her couch on YouTube. Really?! THAT'S rock bottom? Hmmmm....

CORPORATE SNOBBERY vs BROWN-NOSING

Let's face it, once you've been in the corporate world long enough, you run into one of these two. Or both. It was my unfortunate destiny to run into such a situation last week. As you recall, my last post was a little, um, frustrated towards the end. But anyway, for the uninitiated...

Corporate snobbery. In my opinion, worse than brown-nosing. Corporate snobbery is when a mid-level manager tries to flex their so-called power. You see, mid-level executives are smack dab in the middle of the food chain. Low enough that they can be screamed on by the big dogs but JUST high enough that when they do get screamed on, they can piss on the low man on the totem pole...like an assistant or clerk or whatever. This is what happened last week. I found myself thrown out there by a mid-level manager and it was crazy. Not because I'm not used to being thrown under the bus. Been there. But because the person that pushed me under was another minority female that I actually respected. My feelings were definitely hurt by the whole situation. But after a spa weekend...fuck it. Life goes on.

Brown-nosing is what it is. Its any level employee kissin ass to advance. Whether its to get the ideal schedule, a pay raise or just curry favor with management, a brown-noser heaps on the compliments to those who probably don't deserve anything but a swift kick in the ass.

Study your words for today, there will be a quiz next time!