Wednesday, April 25, 2007

See what happens when you think...

I must say that I was dreading the worst from the Women's Retreat! But everything was really good. I can highly recommend the jojoba moisturizing wrap...its magnificent! Everything turned out well and I am pleased to report that first and foremost on the minds of my fellow retreaters was R-E-L-A-X-A-T-I-O-N! So it was all good.

The new biz is going well. I am keeping busy with custom gift baskets. Working on getting the store up and running. Meeting with potential vendors. Its all very exciting and exhausting! But I can't complain, its what I love to do! I believe great things are in store for my little biz! LOL.

Remember that odd ball conversation with RDB a few posts ago? Well, found out where he's at...detox/jail. Sad, but true. What is it that makes a 33 year old man think he can hustle for the rest of his life? At some point, don't you want more for yourself? For your kids? I gave it a lot of thought and you know, it saddens me more than it makes me mad. I BEEN OVER being mad at him truthfully. I guess thats part of the "give it up turn it loose" theory.

Anyways, had to explain to the child where he was...and it lead us to the topic of LIFE. And as if on cue, I asked her what life was all about and she said (correctly, I might add) that life was about choices. She so wisely said that her Dad had not made good choices and that was why he had to go to a facility to get help for his problems. I concurred and said that she was exactly right!

Then she said, "Daddy's a good person." And I said, "Are you asking me or are you telling me?" And without hesitation she said, "I'm TELLING you." I thought for a split second and said, "Yeah. He likes to argue a lot but underneath it all he IS a good person." She smiled and seemed pleased at the revelation.

While I certainly have NO LOVE for him personally, I thought to myself, "How much damage could I do to my child if I had belittled her Dad to her face? Chided him for being stupid and immature?" I remember seeing kids who had been traumatized by the bitterness of their parent's divorce and I certainly did not want that for my littlest one. So if I had to suck it up just this once, I would do it. But please...don't ask me to do it again any time soon.

Until next time!

Monday, April 09, 2007

Let the DRAMA begin!

Just who in the hell do I think I am? Trying to leave the state of Maryland with 11 other grown ass women and all the while thinking no drama was going to break out. A fool I am, I say. A fool.
We haven't gone anywhere and the attitudes are already flaring.

To be clear - yes, I am referencing the upcoming (ahem, this weekend's) retreat. Its really over some BS but hey...I'm of the belief that folks are entitled to their opinion.

I won't get into it too much since I'd have to be so vague. That kinda makes the explanation a little pointless. The short version of it is this, basically - not everyone on this little "get-a-way" is friends. I mean, they're not mortal enemies or anything but you know how it can be. Or maybe you're a man and you don't know.

And lucky for you! I am here to give my two cents:

Most often, the bond that holds a group of women together is really just hair extension glue. On the outside, it looks nice. But get to the roots and underneath it all is a sticky and sloppy damn mess.

Since having this ephiphany - I have evaluated my relationships - with men and women. Let me tell ya, its a lot of folks that ain't make the cut.

Take for instance the chick that wanted to cry on my hubbys shoulder about her baby daddy. Everything was cool until she started ringing my hubbys cell phone at 11pm. Being an adult, I told him that he should have her call the house. The chick stopped calling! To me, it was a sure sign that she had other intentions.

Or how about the former best friend that got mad when my wedding plans went awry and I ended up getting married a month earlier than originally planned? The chick called me in California to tell me that "she wished she could be happy for me, but she's just so mad". Oh, I don't care how many years we've known each other - you can't be happy for me? You need to go on ahead then...

Now, don't get me wrong, its not always the girl/girl friendships. I've had falling outs with the men friends too. But as we all know men are a COMPLETELY different species and deal with things in a whole 'nother way. My example for that is: I once got sold out by a male friend, someone who was like a brother to me, for a few hundred bucks. People driven by money will do damn near anything. Thats a different post altogether though.

I imagine this weekend will be an eye opener of sorts. I can't see how it won't. But let me get back to you on that one next week.

ALL PRAYERS ACCEPTED!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

First of all -

Can someone please provide me a scientific reason why it was 70+ degrees outside just 3 days ago and today I had to break out my Eddie Bauer bear coat again? This don't make no damn sense. I know, I know..."an inconvienient truth", right?!

Remember the women's retreat I told yall about a couple of posts ago? Well, thats coming up soon...next week in fact. I am really excited. Maybe because I think I am all too deserving of a spa weekend or maybe I am just happy to be getting away for a few days...not sure.

Interesting story of the week:

My oldest child (step-daughter) is 13 years old. She called my cell phone on Tuesday and asked if we could go shopping. When asked why, she said she didn't have to wear a uniform Wednesday b/c they were taking personality pictures. In case your not from this area, personality pictures are just casual photos taken with friends (or by yourself). I took them when I was in high school, my brother took them, almost everyone I know took them. At any rate, I told her that I would call her Daddy (hubby) and see if he could pick her up since I don't get home until about 7 pm. He said yes. Then oldest child calls me back to see if her cousin could come with us. Told her yes, but to be clear that I wasn't buying her (cousin) an outfit too. That was cool. So off we go to the mall down the street. I give her $40 and tell her to take her cousin and her little sister (the youngest) with her while I ran into a few stores. She ends up doing well with the $40 - she got a jeans skirt and two pair of those leggings these kids are wearing now. Still in need of a shirt and shoes...ends up getting deals on BOTH. First we go into Rack Room where she wants a pair of...VANS. Vans! I exclaim. Well, hell, if I'd of known they be back in style, I would of kept me a pair from 20 years ago! Anyway - the shoes are buy one pair get a 2nd pair half off so I just looked at her and said, "Go get another pair". She looked at me like it was Christmas. "Okay" and the back of her head was all I saw. Then we knocked out the shirts with a 2 for $20 deal and she was done. Success!

The interesting part of this story is that no sooner had I walked through the front door of my home, did the phone ring with the middle child (also step daughter) on the line. She said, "Uh, are you going to take me shopping too next time?" THE QUESTION REEKED OF HUBBY's BABY MOMMA. It seemed to me that she had put her up to calling and asking. I had been told by her sister that the reason she didn't come was b/c she had soccer practice. But! I also reiterated to child that if she needed a special outfit or anything at all, she could just call her daddy and me and we would work it out. She was fine with that.

There are two things here in this situation that I'd like to address:

First is, this child (the middle child) is not at all interested in keeping up with the stuff that her sister has. She's not petty nor materialistic in that way. Thats how I deduce she was probably coerced into the phone call by her triflin momma. Can't you just hear *sucking teeth*, "Why she ain't buy YOU anything?!"

Second is, the relationship between me and hubbys baby momma is actually quite civilized. We have never argued. We don't beef. We attend the children's functions and get along ok. This is not to say we are friends. We aren't. But we both focus on the kids and it works for us. But for the 6 years I have known my husband, I can honestly say that his baby moms doesn't know what to do with herself or her money. She keeps getting put out of crap-ass apartments. She spends her tax refund money on a bedroom set for...herself. She receives child support and she still can't buy a $0.69 poster board for her childs school projects? For a while, I figured she had some secret crack habit. For all I know she spends it on her girlfriends (cuz thats what shes into now) and Mystic tickets. Who knows?

I was pissed about it for a while b/c it was just so TYPICAL but then I thought, "Be happy. At least your kids know who to call when they really need something."