How was it ME that ended up with the lunatic baby daddy?

As I so eloquently (or not) blogged before...my youngest daughters biological father is a mad man. A bona fide St. Elizabeths candidate for wacko of the century.

Yesterday he calls to tell me that if I want "extra child support" that I should get "a 2nd job". That from a person who has exactly how many jobs? Thats right folks...none. Needless to say, I was stunned. I said, "I am hanging up the phone RIGHT NOW!"

After that, I promptly emailed one of my girls that is familiar with RDB and the situation. I just had to tell someone.

At any rate...let's dissect. Exactly what in the hell is "extra child support". As my girl pointed out, it implies that I am actually receiving child support. I haven't gotten a dime from that deadbeat in over a year. So I am a tad confused where extra comes into play here.

Then, for the 2nd job comment. WOW! RDB just returned home from a 2 month stint in the DC Jail so his current occupation is "drug dealer that is trying to hoodwink the DCPD into thinking he's a crackhead to avoid real jail time". That's his job. He's currently in an outpatient program in downtown. Hows that working out for him? From his comments yesterday, I'd say not at all. But that is my opinion.

Is it any surprise that I keep my child away from this loser? He's crazy as hell. And his family?! Lawd, lets not get started on the apples that are fallin from that tree. Rotten and bitter.

With all of that said, I have to be frank with you folks out here in the cyberworld. I am really not all up in arms about it. I mean, my blood pressure would be through the damn roof if I was stressing about child support, RDB and his "impact" on my child. I don't worry about it. I can't. Me and hubby are far too busy raising her and her sisters to be responsible and respectable human beings.

Folks, its gonna be a SCORCHER!

Today is predicted to be between 95 and 100 degrees. With DC humidity! Folks, I'm surprised I didn't wear a thong and a bikini top and call it a day. So I did the next best thing...I'm in a white cotton sundress with a gauzey cover (and the only reason I threw the cover on was because I had to come to work and dress it up some!) I say by the time its all over with, folks WILL be naked no matter how grotesque their body shapes. PREPARE YOURSELF and get ready to avert your eyes for fear of blindness!!

The countdown has started and it is exactly two weeks before I leave the city and board a luxury cruiseliner! Thats right folks, I'm headed to the BAHAMAS! Hubbys family reunion is aboard a Carnival cruiseliner and we are going to have family, food, fun and sun! I can not wait.

Speaking of family - my beef with hubby was shortlived, as most of our beefs are. What can I say, we argue? YES. Does it last long? Not usually. I still take issue with the planned trip around our anniversary but whatever...we'll have more anniversaries and I'll make him pay through the nose for this year. Oh, yeah and since he's hanging with the homies, I told him he needs to upgrade my ring BIG TIME! LOL.

I don't have much else to report at this time. I have a very good life for which I am truly, truly thankful. A strong, healthy family. Amazing and loyal friends. The best job in the world. A burgeoning business with ridiculous potential to maybe make my financial dreams come true. Everything is good.

And the runner up is...

Do you know how it feels to come in second place time after time? I do. I feel that way most of the time about my husband. I come second to work, his friends, and his music.

So why, you ask, do I stay? I've been asking myself that very same question today. And the answer is compromise. I have compromised my value to have a man who is monogomous. At least thats how I'm justifying it. I could have both you say? I doubt it. I'm a pretty tough person to deal with and it was hard enough finding a man to put up with all my shenanigans in the first place. Why chase off a good one just because he rather hang with his homies?

I won't lie. I've cried about it. Prayed on it. Vowed not to commit any felonies over it. But as the wife, aren't I entitled to at least FEEL like I'm number 1? Top dog? Nah, hubby hides nothing. He's going to New York the weekend of my birthday and is hanging with his homeboys the week of our 5th Anniversary. Take that!

Most people would be pissed. I was. I mean, I still am a little. But I guess I'm more hurt than anything. Add this with the fact that we're having sex once a MONTH and my self esteem is taking a beating. I'm not cute, not desirable, not wanted. And that fuckin sucks.

But hold the pity party for now. I am, after all, a grown ass woman...so I do know how to cure my blues. And the cure is called retail therapy. I don't need to buy the mall out. I just buy myself a nice "I love myself" gift. Think Tiffany bracelet or necklace...and problem solved. Sounds materialistic but it works. The key to this is, you must buy it yourself. Having him buy it or paying for it from his checking account/credit card is not the same. When you treat yourself to something nice, you are investing in you. And that is, like the commercials say, PRICELESS.

I will rebound from the runner up dumps. I will rebound like Ben Wallace wipin the boards. And I will be fabulous.