What a difference a year makes!

I'm going to be real honest with ya'll...this has been one crazy ass year for me! This time last year, I was in employment HELL! My company sold out to the highest bidder, my job was leading nowhere, the chick in the cubicle next to me was so ghetto-fab, she had a go-go flick on her desk in the original Mr. G frame, spouses and children weren’t invited to the holiday “party” and to top it all off, we were expected to go a whopping 3 ½ weeks between paychecks…at Christmas time. It was a disaster and the new year was not looking pretty. Still I maintained.

Well, don't you know as soon as the calendar flipped to 2006, the sell outs at my company flipped their lids too? Yes, the partners all got checks with two commas in them...the administrative staff (ie. the people that make your shit look good and do all the damn work!)...got a kick in the ass and was told to move the hell over for the "old" employees. And lets not get started on the raggedy bunch that they were!

By February, gals were coming to work physically sick, waking up each morning in tears cuz they had to come into the shit hole work had become. We needed...prayer! We'd call the assistants together and huddle in the mail room begging and pleading for some divine intervention!! This is not a joke, it was serious stress in that joint!

By the first Tuesday in March, one of my closest friends at work, quit on the spot. She called her boyfriend to pick her up, flew past my desk murmuring "fuck this, fuck that" and stormed out, mad as hell. When I finally figured out what was going on (about the time she was stuffing the dozen or so pair of shoes from under her desk in a bag), it was a wrap, folks. Two days later, I pulled nearly the same stunt after being offered and accepting my current position. 'Tis life...lets keep it movin'!

Two weeks later, I started at my new company. I am pleased to report that I am respected, appreciated and mind you, compensated, for being...ME! The same me with the same skills. I gots no chickenheads running around not knowing they ass from they elbow. Only grown folks need apply for this company. I had been with the company for maybe a month, when I got flowers and a gift card for Admin's day. The old company, we got a catered lunch and a speech from the President. Gee, thanks. This year, my husband and daughter were invited to a very elegant, yet informal holiday party that was the most fun I had had at an office party in a really long time. And instead of getting a hard time about taking a few days off between Christmas and New Years, you know what my company gave me? A nice box of Godiva chocolates, a Starbucks gift card and a Macy's gift card with respectable value. Thanks! I went to Metro Center today at lunch and finally picked up my much needed boots...in brown AND black. Now thats what I call progress!

By the end of the summer, ALL (not some but ALL) of the assistants had left. Most stayed in the industry. Some ventured out in new directions. Talk to the gals now and its a whole new game. Folks are happy! Hell, we even created a newsletter to keep up with all the co-workers that flew the coop.

In the end, its not always about title, pay and who gets the glory. Sometimes its about knowing your own worth. Most of the time, though, its about peace of mind. I celebrate finding mine!

Me child. Done. Lost. Her. Got-damned. Seven Year Old. Mind.

I have maintained for quite a while now that my youngest child is severely handicapped by her paternal genes. Case and point - while having her cousin over this weekend, she strolls into our bedroom and helps herself to one of two $20 dollar bills on my husbands bedside table. And then proceeds to hide it in her shoe. Then, when we check her allowance folder, we discover that she has helped herself to $20 of that money too.

Not only is the child stealing from US, she's stealing from herself!

So, no more allowance. Any cash and gift cards that she gets for Christmas will be garnished. And the all important ass whuppin has been properly dooled out.

But I sit here picking my brain about why she did it? When asked, she says, "I don't have a reason for taking it, I just did." Thats when I threatened to break her little fingers if she took something that didn't belong to her again.

Please don't comment on how that is promoting child abuse and blah, blah, blah. All of her bones are intact, so chill the hell out.

Am I making too much of it? Being too harsh? Hmmmm...I don't think so.

Blogging has become my therapy!

I've had this blog for a little over a month now and its become quite therapeutic for me. Maybe its got something to do with typing and thinking off the top of my head. Whatever it is, I enjoy doing it and honestly, I know for sure that there's at least one other person reading it too. And thats cool with me. I just like putting thought to paper.

Last week me and hubby had a HUGE MAJOR blowout arguement. Didn't speak for 3 days and then made up, which is the norm. The only thing I will say about it is this: disagreements will happen in any relationship (if they don't, something is seriously wrong!), how far you take it is up to you. Now, me...I'm the ODQ...Original Drama Queen. I'll go toe to toe with yo ass! But hubby knows that...

Changing lanes...this season I have been completely infatuated with The Wire. That show is highly entertaining to me. Maybe cuz I went to school in Baltimore. Maybe because I know people who ARE these characters. Who knows? The writing on that show is amazing and has a story line so realistic, its scary. So here are my thoughts on this season and the finale that aired on Sunday.

Okay - the concept that revolves around the middle school kids is working for me. In real life, thats about the age these impressionable kids get roped into "the life". If you think its high school, you're being naive. By high school they done this and done that. It might be too late. Michael is the big youngin. His moms is an addict and he takes care of a little brother, Bug, who might be 6 or so. He asked the drug kingpin's hitmen to take care of Bug's dad who just got home from jail. And they did, but it came at a cost. Any guesses? Right, Chris and Snoop take Michael under their murderous wing and teach him the game. In the finale, Michael and Bug got their own little crib, Michael's having sex, robbing folks and then catching his first body. It's probably a thousand kids that got started in the game the same way Michael did. If reality tells us anything, Michael probably won't make it through the next season without getting killed or locked up. And yet, I like the character of Michael. Here's a young man that has been thrust into an adult life because of his moms addiction. You can tell he cares for his little brother and since the writing on the show is so good, you can almost see the changes in him from when he's first shown, as a young, kinda quiet kid to this kingpin-in-training that is capable of murder. Hooked yet? One of the other kids is Dookie or DuQuan...like Michael, his mother/folks are addicts and they're so scandalous, they steal his school uniforms and anything else that ain't bolted down. If you ever been to Baltimore and seen this side of the city, you know thats the truth right there! Dookie is endearing as well and you want to stand up and applaud the former cop-turned-teacher, Prez, that washes Dookie's uniform and offers him the gym showers before school. Dookie has nothing and in the finale, his folks have been evicted from the rowhouse and Michael tells him he can crash with him and Bug. So he does and flashes of him hustlin on the corner tell us that he gets turned on to the life too. This makes me a little sad but, again, since I know reality, I know that there are Dookie's in this world. Randy is another child coming up in the hood with Michael and DuQuan. He gets into trouble by simply being someone's mouthpiece. And when people think that he's snitching to the police, his life becomes one big mess: the boys at school try to go at him and then they toss a Molotov cocktail into his and his foster mothers home. You know this won't be good. The mother is in ICU at the hospital and its back to group home for Randy, where they promptly steal his money and beat him down. The lesson in this one is obvious: don't even look like you've been talking to the police. And finally, Naymond. Naymond is the son of a gangsta from seasons 1-3, Wee-Bey. All season long, Nay's mom has been pressing him to be the gangsta that Wee-Bey was. She even steps to the cats on the corner and makes them give Naymond a "package". The kicker here is, Naymond is NOT his father. You can tell the boy is soft in that area. He talks big trash, but when it comes to throwin down, Naymond gets ghost. There are two problems here: Naymond's mother and the expectations that Naymond is supposed to live up to. First off, Naymond's mother is holding on to the glory years long gone. Wee-Bey is now locked up for life and she's still trying to maintain the lifestyle that she became accustomed to when Wee-Bey was the man, running shit. Second, both Naymond and his mother have these ideas that Naymond is supposed to be Wee-Bey, because he carries his fathers name. In the finale, Wee-Bey & Naymond's mother (after getting put in her place by Wee-Bey) allow Naymond to go live with Mr. Colvin (another cop turned teacher). The last shot of the season finale is of Naymond on the porch of Mr. Colvin's house, getting ready for school when he sees one of his old crew in a stolen car. You can almost feel Nay's emotions: is he glad he's not on a corner anymore? or is he missing the lifestyle? Stay tuned.

If you ain't watching the wire...hop on it! Its really the best thing on HBO or regualar TV for that matter.

Karrine, Carmen & Kim

A friend at work asked me last week if I had read the new Essence. I was like, "Whose on the cover?" When she told me that Diddy and Kim Porter were, I rolled my eyes. Let me be clear, I'm a true Diddy hater. I think he's full of himself and expects people to treat him like the Pope. Him and Kanye are the biggest egos in the entertainment industry and what have they really done? Diddy's biggest contribution to hip hop will be that he "discovered" Biggie. No more. No less. And Kayne...he's the biggest cry baby ever. But I'm getting sidetracked here.

So I went online and printed out the Essence article and here is my impression: Kim Porter is a fool and Diddy came off as the self-absorbed pinhead that I thought he was. In the article, he "boasts" that all kinds of women want him but "...if a woman approaches me, she's going to feel like she's stepping up for the championship of the world". There are so many wrongs in that one statement, I can't even dignify. He also states that "she completes me" but obviously NOT since he's still working on being a complete boyfriend and not a complete father/husband. Perplexing.

Now as for his baby momma - she got all kinds of issues. She came off really racist with the "little Puerto Rican girlfriend" comment and the "does she look like the type that would want to play house and family with two little Black kids?" remark. HOLD UP! Did Jenny LoLo steal your man or did your man walk off with his own two legs? Hmmmm....for two years he flaunted his "not real" relationship. Wrote songs for the girlfriend and maintained that he would always love her even though she was dating and marrying other men. But that was okay! Because he was still calling her 50-60 times a day!

And then when Diddy said that "I'm used to applause when I walk in the room"...I wanted to hurl all over my desktop. But then again, what do we really expect from a man that pays someone to hold an umbrella for him?

The long and short of the Essence article is this: Kim Porter got herself three kids and no commitment from her narcisstic, egotistical jackass of a "boyfriend"...but everything is hunky-dory. It's all love. I saved the article to show my daughter when she gets older. So she will know that babies don't guarantee a commitment and self esteem is so much more important than having and keeping a man.

Now, on to Carmen Bryan (Nas' baby momma) and Karrine Stephens (aka Supahead & supposedly Kool G Raps baby momma)...

I haven't read these books by these two women. However, I have read many articles on them and their exploits, and having some insight into the music and entertainment biz, I can speak to the stories they are trying to tell.

Is there money in being a groupie? I suppose there is, hence the book deals, articles, and tv shows written about women who get knocked up by someone famous. Is there any glory in being a groupie. I think not. Groupies are booty-calls to whatever hotel in whatever city. They are the girls you call to put on a thong and be fillers in your video. They are not wifey material. Rappers and athletes don't often marry groupies and they damn sure don't sport them in public.
Lets start with Karrine. She wants money and she wants a lifestyle. She thought she could get it by having sex with athletes and rappers. She was, for the most part, wrong. Sure, they put you in their videos and they mighta bought you a car and a crib, some jewelry and clothes, but eventually...the video won't be in rotation, your car will breakdown, your crib will get too small, your jewelry will seem too insignificant and your clothes will be out of season.

Carmen thought her golden ticket was punched when she had Nas' baby. Things didn't work out, she supposedly slept with a few more stars and now she has a book to tell us all about it. There's not that much else to say. Sure, she could bash Kelis' step-parenting skills but whats the point of that? She's not going to get her baby daddy back and with it being public knowledge that she's slept with so-and-so, her chances of finding that brass ring are significantly lower.

Folks, we will have to continue this topic at another time...when K-Fed's book hits the stores and its in the 99 cent bin at the Salvation Army. LOL

The lesson learned for today is this: "Money affords nice things but it doesn't buy happiness", as I tell my daughters.

HOT OFF THE PRESSES

I am sitting here at work with no work to do. And thats okay with me since I'm in "just chillin" mode anyways.

Last night, my hubby blessed me with Mary J. Blige's new album, "Reflections (A Retrospective)". Street date is Tuesday, December 19th, I believe, so its an exclusive and yes, a perk of having a spouse in the music biz.

First, don't look to this blog for an unbiased MJB review. I love her! My life and her music fell into some strange parallel universe and it always seemed that whatever she was singing about - I was going through in one way or another.

Second, I've met Mary and she's quite nice. She had a meet & greet before her No More Drama Tour at MCI Center (2002, I think?). That was the first time I saw her sing live and she did not disappoint. I saw her this summer on her Breakthrough Tour in Baltimore. When Mary sings live, she goes to churrrch and you know she's feelin every single word of it.

So back to the new cd...only 4 new tracks and the rest are some of her greatest singles, "Family Affair" "No More Drama" "My Life '06" "Be Happy" and "I'm Going Down" to name a few. All MJB fans should cop it.

As a child of hip-hop, I love the old stuff. Salt'n'Pepa, Rakim, Run DMC, MC Lyte, old school LL Cool Jay, Nas, Biggie, Tupac, Snoop, Ice Cube...they just don't make it like that no more. Now, every song got a dance to go with it. And sampling other peoples beats and music has just taken off into a whole new level. I heard a rap song that recreated Spandau Ballet's "True" and they didn't just take a beat...they jacked the whole song. It sounds horrible. Sorry to some of ya'll hip hoppers under 30...but Puffy killed originality years ago.

My favorite Emcees (living or dead and in no particular order): The NOTORIOUS B.I.G., Tupac, Talib Kweli, Eminem, Rakim, NAS, Method Man, Slick Rick & Doug E. Fresh, Rah Digga, MC Lyte, Snoop, Ice Cube...

Do you see where I'm going with this? Real lyricists with real shit to say...