"and our feelings just aren't feelings anymore,
they're just words that come from whispers
from people who don't know"
-Babyface

The real tragedy behind this summer's events (besides the obvious) is the toll that it has taken on the other relationships in my life. From my mother, to my father, to my brother, to cousins, friends and in-laws...everyone has an opinion and wants that opinion to be heard. I'm here to say now "KEEP THAT SHIT TO YOURSELF".

I know, I know...

I viewed my blog and the last time I posted, I was in the middle of my 30-something crisis. Yeah, since then-it's all broken WIDE OPEN. Not big on details but if you really wanna know how I feel, read on...

Since my last post, my hubby and I have separated. My youngest has started middle school. I left my job and started a new one. Oh, and I turned 37. Yessir...let's just try to swallow all of THAT now.

I really can not speak too much on the "why" me and hubby have split. I know why. I think he knows why. But trying to explain to family and friends has become a marathon. I began to tire of talking about it months ago. Like I said, this post is less about the details and more about the feelings. So how am I feeling?

I've only been asking myself the exact same question for the last few months now and honestly, I have no answer. Some days, I feel numb. This is not my life. This is not what my life has become. Other days, I feel strong. In the weeks leading up to school (after I got canned), I had ample time to spend with the child. We took care of school stuff. Got her situated at home. We cried on the bed when I told her her Dad had moved out. Yeah, it was a lot to go thru. But the greatest tragedy would be my child seeing her mother broken. Can't do that. So I smile through the tears and forge on.

As for my job, well my dissatisfaction with that joint was well documented, on here! I can't say that I was happy to leave (relieved, perhaps a better word) and I sure miss that $ but I'm now work-place, stress free. So, it's okay. The price of peace of mind.

My new job is at a law firm. It's a paycheck.

Turning 37 was uneventful. I didn't do much at all. Contemplated life and all of that. Got white-boy wasted (which was fun but necessary).

I am leaving this post with the question first posed to us by Johnny Gill and Stacey Lattisaw, "WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?"