A Day in the Life of a DJ's Wife

2010-11-16T10:51:00.003-05:00

It's daunting, the twists and turns that life takes. Since my last post, not much has changed. Still separated. Still unemployed. Still trying to shine shit and call it gold as The Wire would say.

Yeah, I'm still going thru it. It's been crazy to say the least but I am forging on. I can't lie. I've been disappointed by many who I never thought would turn their backs. But you find out a lot about someone when your down. This includes family and those friends you never dared dream would do that shit. And then on the flip side: the people who you never thought could or would hold you down, do so and do so happily. Like I said, daunting.

For the first time in about 20 years, I had a beef with my Godbrother. Not that we always get along or agree but we usually don't have these kinds of beefs. But we talked it out and it's resolved now. The relationship has changed though, which makes me a little sad. My Godbrother has been my best male friend for most of those 20 years, we've been thru damn near everything that could be thrown our way. Of course, I knew he had flaws: major ones! But after turning a blind eye to them for so long, they became something you couldn't ignore. He's still family. Still my Godbrother. But with the changes I've been going through, it was inevitable that the way I look at him would change too. Tis life, I suppose.

If the last 6 months have taught me anything, it is that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be. I have truly been tested in all areas of life, lately. That's not to say there haven't been tears or desperation. There has been! In spades! I found out a lot about myself and those that I care about. Some of it wasn't so good, some of it was. I guess that's part of the journey.

In other news, the stress and lack of funds has whittled 30 pounds off my frame! I went from a 16 to an 8 since April! NOW THATS CRAZY!

When I get back to post again, hopefully it's more positive and uplifting. Can't see it being any darker, since this is the view from rock bottom folks.

2010-09-07T12:32:00.003-04:00

"and our feelings just aren't feelings anymore,
they're just words that come from whispers
from people who don't know"
-Babyface

The real tragedy behind this summer's events (besides the obvious) is the toll that it has taken on the other relationships in my life. From my mother, to my father, to my brother, to cousins, friends and in-laws...everyone has an opinion and wants that opinion to be heard. I'm here to say now "KEEP THAT SHIT TO YOURSELF".

2010-09-01T10:27:00.003-04:00

I know, I know...

I viewed my blog and the last time I posted, I was in the middle of my 30-something crisis. Yeah, since then-it's all broken WIDE OPEN. Not big on details but if you really wanna know how I feel, read on...

Since my last post, my hubby and I have separated. My youngest has started middle school. I left my job and started a new one. Oh, and I turned 37. Yessir...let's just try to swallow all of THAT now.

I really can not speak too much on the "why" me and hubby have split. I know why. I think he knows why. But trying to explain to family and friends has become a marathon. I began to tire of talking about it months ago. Like I said, this post is less about the details and more about the feelings. So how am I feeling?

I've only been asking myself the exact same question for the last few months now and honestly, I have no answer. Some days, I feel numb. This is not my life. This is not what my life has become. Other days, I feel strong. In the weeks leading up to school (after I got canned), I had ample time to spend with the child. We took care of school stuff. Got her situated at home. We cried on the bed when I told her her Dad had moved out. Yeah, it was a lot to go thru. But the greatest tragedy would be my child seeing her mother broken. Can't do that. So I smile through the tears and forge on.

As for my job, well my dissatisfaction with that joint was well documented, on here! I can't say that I was happy to leave (relieved, perhaps a better word) and I sure miss that $ but I'm now work-place, stress free. So, it's okay. The price of peace of mind.

My new job is at a law firm. It's a paycheck.

Turning 37 was uneventful. I didn't do much at all. Contemplated life and all of that. Got white-boy wasted (which was fun but necessary).

I am leaving this post with the question first posed to us by Johnny Gill and Stacey Lattisaw, "WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?"

2010-07-07T16:34:00.003-04:00

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST...

Another "friend" that is...

Wow, another 15+ year friend-gone over some petty BS! I must be setting some records or something!

2010-07-02T13:28:00.002-04:00

Say It Ain't So!

Yeah, in the midst of my mid-30's breakdown that I've been having...I went and got a Facebook page. Ain't that against EVERYTHING that I believe in: like, privacy? Well, yes! But f* it. Might as well go balls out *as the expression says*. I have a whopping 12 friends in the last week. And two requests from people I don't even know. Pretty funny if you ask me. So I take it for what it is and try not to be on it too much. But I did add the app to my iPhone. Hahahaha.

2010-06-25T13:15:00.002-04:00

Sometimes Love...

I can't remember a time that has been more emotionally draining than the last few months. Sure, I'd like to put out to the internet world that everything in my sphere is happy go lucky. I'm not going to do it. I've been going thru some times with hubby, family even friends...so I've been just tapped out.

2010-05-20T08:33:00.002-04:00

The Battle Wages On...

I have been overweight more than half my life now. At 5 feet even, a doctor once told me that my "ideal weight" was 100 pounds. Umm, ok, doc. I would look like tits on a stick. I think ideally, I could be 120 and be real happy. So that would be a bonafide 57 pounds to lose.

Let's see, when I was in middle school - I was the same height I was now but I weighed 98 pounds. I didn't start putting real weight on until about the 11th grade. By the time I graduated high school, I was a size 6 or 8? Don't really remember but slim enough to wear those skinny ass Guess jeans that were in style back then. Got to college and well, you know the rest.

I fluctuated up and down for years after that. Lost about 20 before I got pregnant with my daughter. Gained 50 while pregnant. Lost the baby weight and then some during the breakup. Got married and gained even more. And "more" is where I have been for oh, about 8 or 9 years.

You tell yourself its the "happy, good life" weight that we all gain when we're eating whatever and got good lovin in our lives! You can roll with that excuse, but then you hit the point where you realize the frequent buyers card at Lane Bryant is worn down and the one pair of 14's has been upstaged by the two pairs of 16's. You're a big girl, face it.

Well, no more. I am doing the damn thing now. I've got a steady work out buddy here at work and am hittin the gym 2 to 3 times a week! I've steadied my diet to not exclude myself from carbs but to keep them in check. And so far, I've lost a good 4 pounds in 2 weeks. That seems like it could stay off. I just need to maintain the plan. And then, when I am back down to the 120's... I will be so glad that I am not the fat mother in the bleachers tryin to catch her breath and sippin out of a super big gulp cup. Realistic time to lose the 57 pounds and keep it off=3 years or before my youngest goes to high school. I think I can do it. I'm tryin to be 40 and look like I'm 16 (if my gray hairs cooperate)!!!

No, I'd really just like to be in a super low cut one piece by the summer of 2012 or even before. It's less about health (yeah, I said it!) than it is about vanity. I mean, I want to be healthy but I want to look good more. A swift kick in the ass and I'm on my way. I certainly won't be talking about it every post because I know it just doesn't happen that way- but I will keep you updated every now and then.

2010-05-11T13:38:00.004-04:00

RUN BABY RUN!!!

So the youngest child has decided she wants to be Wilma Rudolph and run track. Track is not something that I was ever interested in...ever! But since she expressed an interest in it last year, Dad and I told her that she needed to maintain her grades and keep her room clean and then, YES! She could run track.

Her first meet on Saturday and the girl tied for 2nd place in the 100 meters! We are so proud! She actually came in 1st place in the 400 meters but as she walked over to me by the bleachers, I handed her her Powerade and she said, "that's too loooong, Mommy!". So a sprinter she may be. I'm glad she found something that she wants to do and will stick with.

My niece was recognized for being an outstanding student this week. I live about 10 minutes from my brother but we see each other infrequently at best. Most of the time it is at family stuff or stuff for the kids. I still love him though. What can I say-we lead some busy lives.

His oldest...the one who I named in the hospital and taught how to walk...graduates from high school. She's a bit of a diva. A diva that her auntie (me) helped create from the day she was born. I mean, c'mon, I gave her the middle name Chanel and I'm going to act surprised that she's a diva? Not me...I'm real wit it! That's my baby.

The Babe (my new car) is running oh so beautifully. And the truly grand part about having a car is that I have yet to fill up the gas tank. It's been almost two weeks and I haven't filled up the gas?! Whaaaat?! By the way, we named it "The Babe" cuz its a nice navy blue (a la Yankee blue, if you will). And "The" part comes from the fact my hubby is tickled by the use of "The Batman" in The Dark Knight. I don't know...I just thought he was Batman but Heath Ledger's Joker always says, "The Batman". Hubby laughs almost every time. So The Babe it is.

I wish I had more to report. There is not a whole lot going on in at the moment. June may be a tough one though. am totally booked for every weekend so far. 2 graduation parties and a bridal shower. I still have to plan my sister's baby shower too. Just spring madness. I love it.

My mother's day was really nice. I chilled out. Ate a few burgers and hot dogs. Just did nothing, which is exactly what I wanted to do anyway.

2010-05-04T08:31:00.003-04:00

What is it about me running into people from back in the day???!!!

Yesterday, my youngest started track practice. It seems like she will enjoy it. As I was picking her up at 7, I heard someone say, (DJ's WIFE)....I know that isn't (DJ's WIFE)!!! Oh, my, gosh! (DJ's WIFE)!!!!! I turned and looked, it was a girl that I went to college with over um, 10 years ago (ok, damn, 18 years ago). I remembered her name and that we were friends even. I even remembered where she was from in NY! The stuff she remembered! Oh, WOW!

Girl, you used to come to our room and hang out for real!... We used to crack up taking about so-n-so...Whatever happened to...Do you remember?...

It was really nice to see her. We exchanged phone numbers and said we would keep in touch, but does that really happen? As you recall, a few years ago I ran into a bunch of people who knew me even before college...where are they? People change-I get that. I changed. What do you do with an old friend that you don't even know anymore?

My solution is to remain friendly and cordial. I mean, if they were your friend all those years ago, there must of been SOMETHING. Does that mean you have to visit each others houses, go on vacation together and hang out every weekend? No-I don't even do that with my brothers and sisters!!!! But man! She remembered some stuff from college that was really ancient. I mean, completely erased from my memory all together. It really is funny what other people remember. And I'm still pretty tickled by it.

So, work has improved by 75%. Come to find out my boss DID say something to someone! He's so slick! He didn't want to come into work one day and see me not here...heads would of had to roll!!! I certainly appreciated the fact that he had the balls to do it. Not everyone in corporate America is willing to put themselves out there and say what is on their mind!

What can I say? I am a happy happy gal! Not just because of the car but because for once, things seem to turning up for me and my family. Life is hard, no doubt about that one! But boy, having faith, family, friends...I can really make it thru anything and come out a little bit better person!!

2010-05-03T13:35:00.003-04:00

The Way of the World...

Sometimes, you need to give people (even the ones you truly love) a little push. Sometimes, drama is more effective. Sometimes, a little patience is required.

It was a sweet and sour combination of all of the above that got me my new ride! Whooo hooo - my hubby came thru!!!!! A real live Christmas in April!

THANKS HONEY!!!! And I knew you understood when you called and said, "All I want is for you to be HAPPY" You get it! A happy wife DOES make a happy life!

I can be a brat, I know. My own Godmother once said, "You kinda spoiled, huh?" But as mentioned in the previous post, my sanity was at stake. Driving out of that dealership lot, I felt like I had moved mountains. And that a huge burden had been lifted. And it was. I felt like a 16 year old with an hour old drivers license! Let's ride!

I am my old self once again. And I love it!

2010-04-09T08:46:00.002-04:00

I USED TO BE SOMEBODY TOO!

I can't believe that I may have fallen into the blackhole of marriage: losing one's identity. I know, it happens. But don't we always say, "It will never happen to ME!" Yeah, right! I'm upset about it because it took me freaking 27 years to figure out who the hell I really was...only to lose sight of it 8 years later? A blower! And try as you might, you can blame anyone and everyone. But the truth is- YOU LET IT SLIP AWAY. And folks, I think I am there already.

Anyway, I started feeling this way since I still have not received my Christmas gift. I won't get into it too much, cuz then I'm going to have to slash someone's tires, but yeah, I'm a little bit bitter to say the least. So no car. And of course, my stuff comes in a distant 4th or 5th place to hubby, his job, kids, their errands, etc. My little "side" biz doesn't stand a chance with no transportation. And no one seems to care.

All of this is to say, it is fucking with my independence. I've been the kinda girl that could get in my car and do what I needed to do when I needed to do it. With no car, its just not that way. And I hate it. And I'm becoming resentful by the minute.

So where do we go from here? I just don't know. I know that I am not a happy camper and I need to make some things happen to get back to being me. Whatever it takes, I think.

2010-04-07T13:30:00.003-04:00

There are few things in the world that I love more than SHOPPING. Whether its for me or for someone else, I just love it. I definitely get it from my Momma! She is THE original shopaholic. Wish I had her money! LOL.

Anyways, it reminds me of a time back in middle school when I knew this girl who always seemed to never wear the same stuff twice. Me and another friend would spend the night at her house and her closets used to seem like they were bursting with clothes. I was jealous back then. But as we got older, I realized what it was: she DID have a lot of clothes but they were CHEAP clothes.

I only bring this up because of my propensities for shopping. I don't do knock off (anything) and I typically don't do cheap shit unless we're talking about a random tee shirt or something of that nature. Yes, expensive doesn't always mean quality. Hence, the one and only Prada bag that I will EVER have. And everything doesn't have to be labels. But I love a good quality product. And while it seems that the quality goods are the expensive shit, this is not always so.

So, why don't I do knock offs? Save ya some money! It's only a trend and next season it'll be played out! Ah, questions questions! Personally speaking, I don't do knock off's because it goes against everything that I really believe in. Its called frontin'. If I can't afford the real thing, why am I trying to fake like I can with a bootleg? It never made much sense to me and still doesn't. I don't knock anyone for having fake purses or glasses-it's just not me. Not my style.

Which brings us to the cheap shit and why I told that aforementioned story. When I say cheap I'm talking more about quality than about cost. Don't get me twisted. I'm not some label whore that turns her nose up at stuff at Kohls or Target. In fact, the black maxi dress I'm bout to be rockin this summer was purchased at Kmart for under $20. So it's not that. I'm talkin about the clothes that after 3 washes you can see through, the threads start to pullin and the collar is out of shape. Things that should not be worn most of the time. Its just a difference in quality.

A writer for the Washington Post was a little dismayed with all the brand name designers with lines at Target and H&M. Quite frankly, so am I. And its all because of the quality. When Stella McCartney sells something at her store in LA, its going to be a hefty price tag because that represents HER. But if she has a line at H&M and that garment falls apart, the reason is going to be "well, it WAS from H&M". You expect less. You pay less and you want the same quality as the one sold in flagship stores? Come back to reality, please.

Enjoy the glorious weather, until next time!

2010-03-29T08:34:00.002-04:00

I realized that I've been doing so much bitching and ranting about my suck ass job that I should change my blog to A Day In The Life of The Angry and Disgruntled Worker.

So, in keeping with my general feelings on this sort of thing, I am no longer devoting a lot of energy to being mad. It is what it is, correct? You can't make people know what their talking about - they just gotta be dumb on their own! But I did pack up my office and am ready to roll on a moments notice...soooo...

Its hard to be positive when almost everyone around you is a jackass.

I do have many wonderful things going on however. My kids are on Spring Break. My hubby just returned from LA. I spent some time with friends I never get to see. I took a nice couple of days to do "me" time.

Because it is a rare occasion indeed, to be alone at home. Hubby out of town. Children gone. I felt so damn free. I felt so happy. I came and went as I pleased. I didn't cook if I didn't want to. If I wanted to watch a movie, I did. If I wanted to sleep on the couch, I could. It was just fantastic. And then I capped it off with the longest hot steam shower in history. No one asking me whats for dinner. No one saying they needed clean clothes. For a brief moment in time, it was just me again. And I loved it.

And then Wednesday, it was over. Hubby and kids back.

But I revel in the three days that I had. I think its why I didn't quit my job last week. So lets view that as a positive as well.

Now lets chat about something that is really up my alley. The NCAA tourney. Man, how many of you picked Old Dominion University in the first round? Ha! I did! And then...it all went down hill. I always said that when I made my bracket picks, half of them were based on sentimental value and the other half on knowing the game of basketball. For instance, that ODU pick was just knowing there was going to be an upset in the first round. Picking Pitt? Purely because my cousin played for Pitt. Having a Big East final four? Just stupid. Thanks a lot Georgetown and Villanova! But then, at the end of last week - I found out that i was in 4th place. Really? And then-Syracuse went and screwed me this weekend. I'm not totally dead yet, though. I still got one of my two championship teams in there: West Virginia. So lets go Mountaineers!

A shame when basketball is whats really making me happy nowadays!

2010-03-23T08:13:00.002-04:00

The roller coaster ride contines. My dear friend, the UNC alum, is leaving at the end of this month and if I wasn't happy for him beginning a new life with his fiance-I'd totally be throwing myself at his feet begging him not to leave. But the reason is completely okay with me since I've never been the type to begrudge anyone's happiness.

My middle child turned 13 last Saturday. So it's offical, with two teenagers and a tween, I am officially stir-crazy!

And then last night, I had another rare occasion to do whatever I wanted to. Hubby is in LA for work and the kid went to Camp Schmidt with her 5th Grade class. I took a looong hot shower, relaxed and went to sleep in the middle of the bed. Perfection! And my theory on this little phenomenon is that single people want to be married with children (most of them do, one day) and married people, while they may not want to BE single - they want to REMEMBER what it was like when they were single! So small moments like last night - they are really peace of mind moments. We should all be so lucky to have them!

But the party is over today. The kid is back from Camp and the hubby is returning on a red-eye on Wednesday. I enjoyed my one day of peace and am back to regular old life as usual.

A life that includes Anita Baker tickets in August. Now that's a good damn life.

If I'm still employed at the beginning of the month, I haven't committed a felony at work and all is good. This is where we are right now. So sad, I know.

2010-03-15T08:38:00.002-04:00

So my get together a few weeks ago was quaint (meaning hardly no one showed up) but very nice. And it was appreciated by my friend that came in from out of town. So that was the most important thing, really.

I'm still fed up with the bullshit at work. There's just no more to say about that.

This past weekend I had the very rare occurance to have the children out of the house and the husband out of town. Let me just give you the best description I possibly can: SILENCE. I went to bed with no tv blasting sportscenter. That hasn't happened in 8 years!

And it's highly ironic since I love to talk and love to chat with friends. But lately, it seems that the silence is what I love the most. I find myself getting in the car and not turning on the radio or listening to anything. I just want quiet. I'm pretty sure I will be headed for a white padded room in my old age, but whatever. Quiet is what makes me happy right now.

My sister who got married last year is pregnant. I got to say, I don't love the new husband as much as I did the old husband. My former brother in law (and father to my nieces and nephew) is the coolest. And I know why they divorced and I understand. But the new hubby? I woun't have picked him for her at all. He's younger than her and he doesn't have any kids of his own until the baby is due in September. He didn't start on the greatest foot with my nieces and nephew either. And for me, once you do the babies wrong - I might not end up feeling you at all. That's just me. Maybe when his is born, he'll shape up. But I don't know...

While I still have a good life, sometimes I wish that the path I have carved out for myself was a little less rocky. Yeah, yeah, I know that trials and tribulations give you character and get you ready for even harder obstacles - I GET IT! And I'm not hardly in as bad a situation as some folks, losing homes and jobs and stuff. Do I need a paved yellow brick road? Nah, that's not it. I just wish that sometimes I didn't have to work so hard for so little. Is that asking too much?

2010-03-01T08:50:00.002-05:00

My God! I wish I could love a job for more than 5 years. This place has become toxic to say the least.

Partly my fault, though. I wish someone would have told me my junior year of college to just go ahead and finish the student teaching! If someone would have just said, "Knock it out and save yourself a lifetime of being demeaned and put down as an assistant". Perhaps I would of listened and just done it. Then again, my coworker DOES have a degree from UNC and he's being treated like shit too. Hmmm...people hung up on titles are dicks. That's for sure.

So, I tell my Tarheel friend that I swear if I win the lottery I'd be out of here. I'd open my gift basket store (cuz that's MY dream) and say fuck you to all these kiss asses. I am so sick of office politics. Its the reason I've left the last two companies. I'd say I was a ticking time bomb in here-one more off the cuff remark and I'm bout to really go postal in this camp. I'll get to cussing folks out and then take off for lunch and not come back. Trust me its been done before.

Enough about the foolishness at the place of employment. Let's talk about the more positive since I haven't touched on that in a while. Let's see-what is positive in my life right now?

Still breathing.

*crickets*

Still happily married.

*more crickets*

Kids are doing well.

I guess that about sums it up. I've got a family that loves me. That's enough for me.

2010-02-26T14:06:00.004-05:00

The key thing to remember in life is that there are lots of different kinds of people. This is what I keep saying to myself. I am not talking about ethnicity, size, shape, or anything physical. I know we come packaged in many different ways. No, I'm talking about people that are morally bankrupt, people that would be so scandalous they'd "sell they baby pampers", people that have sex with say, animals. Those kind of people. And there are even more disturbing kinds of people I am finding out. The two girls one cup chicks come to mind.

Now, I haven't run across many people that have done those last two, but it seems that I either know or work with the morally deficient. Perplexing even more is that these folks claim to go to church. That's mind blowing. And it reinforces the fact that some of these bible thumpin holy rollers are truly just...wrong. I would rather not been to church in ten years than to go on Sunday and then Monday thru Friday slit throats climbing the corporate ladder. I dunno, maybe that's just me.

Now lets say you frown upon prostitutes, gold diggers, strippers, realtity stars or any other chick that will get naked or fuck for some money or fame. Can you frown on them but then put a suit on and suck dick five days a week? How is that different? I'm pretty sure the chick in my office is a managerial whore. Not only that, she's tainted the rest of the staff into believing that the rest of us are lazy as hell. I'm over her and winter. That's what I have to say about that.

I'm so excited to be getting together with my girls next week. I haven't seen some of them in so long! Should be nice. But don't expect a report on Friday...I am off the first three Fridays in March-so you'll have to wait!

2010-02-15T08:54:00.004-05:00

After being held hostage in my home for exactly 11 days, I have managed to tunnel out and get my ass back to work. And, I haven't been this happy to be at work for the last six months (or since the OM lost her GD mind). But whatever. I'm not at home. I'm not the short order cook serving up meals every 3 hours. I'm not the laundry washer and the problem fixer 24/7. Talk about cabin fever. Could it have happened any other weekend than Valentine's Day weekend?

But I made it with no major drama, so that's what's important.

You would think that after a week of no work BS, I'd be happy. Nah, I'm waiting for someone to step to me like they've lost their minds after not seeing me for a week. I guess I got a good dose of pessimism while at home. Hmmmm...

There's not that much to report unless you want a recap on how my phone kept me from dying of boredom, how my hubby's top priority during the blizzard was to go out to the DirecTV satellite on the back deck and "de-ice" it with a screwdriver and the Hello Kitty hairdryer, or about grilled cheese sandwiches that I was serving up on a daily basis.

Yeah, folks...I am utterly and completely over winter. I'd take Las Vegas in the dead of July before I go through this again.

2010-02-05T12:26:00.003-05:00

Hmmmm...

So I received an email from a friend and former co-worker who moved to Arizona over 3 years ago. She told me she was going to be in town for a week at the end of the month and what could I do to help her see some of our mutual friends?

I, being the little party planner and such, sent out emails to my girls with whom I'm still in touch and told them to holla. Oh, and then I said that I wouldn't be mad if some folks didn't make the cut. LOL.

Apparently that didn't go over with one person, because I received the reply: "I'm down for the get together. And I don't have any grudges."

WTF?!

Okay, yes, I was talking about one of her girls. And yes, I mentioned her friend by name when someone replied, "be more specific on who shouldn't make the cut". I was really tempted to shoot back an email and be like, "No grudges. I just enjoy some people's company more than others". But then thought that sounded a little petty. But then, I thought, "Fuck that" and I don't really care she knows I ain't feelin her friend. In the end, I did nothing but was about to cut the girl that responded off the invite list. See, this is why I can't be bothered with female friend drama.

In other news, shit done got so bad at the office with the big head office manager that it defies logic. Half the time I am stunned that someone thinks she is "manager" material. I realize to some folks that this is their career, but could you be less obvious with your kiss-ass attitude? Sheesh...have some pride.

There's actually a laundry list of shit that is getting on my nerves, but I won't bore the masses.

One thing that truly did make me happy was my advance copy of Sade's SOLDIER OF LOVE. I like it. And while her voice has certainly changed, it is refreshing to see she is still Sade after the long hiatus. Is it better than Lovers Rock? No way. But after hearing all these new corny acts on the radio, I'll take Sade anyday.

Snow bunnies...be safe out there.

2010-01-15T13:51:00.005-05:00

So remember I told you that I dabble in FB every now and then? I do, I like to check on some old friends and see pics. Boy, some of those old school pics are super retro. I really am old.

Anyways, I was on there one day and I noticed that there were quite a few people on there that married their high school sweetheart! A handful. I am amazed by this. How did they know thats what they wanted when they were 15 years old? I mean, I was 25 before I knew what I didn't want...

I'm jus sayin.

Like, look at me and me hubby. Love is strong. Home is a happy one. But had we met in high school? I don't know that we would of been a good fit. I didn't know who I was. Maybe he wanted different things back then. Who knows?

I could of never seen me marrying anyone from high school. As much as I may have tried to talk myself into it back then, it wouldn't have worked. My life experiences led me on another path and that prepared me for the love that I have right now. Had I not gone through that? I might not of been able to see my blessings when they were presented to me.

Does that make any sense? I guess I'm just in shock that you can know what you want at such a young age. I didn't. Hell, I got friends in they 30's that been married once or twice and still don't know what it is they want. Go figure.

I have decided that in 2010 to be a little more selfish. That's right folks, it's all about me. NOT. Can't even write that without giggling. Anyone who knows me is laughing too right now.

No, my focus this year is to do more to better myself. To be a better mother, wife, and person. To spend time with who I want to spend time with. That means calling up folks who I haven't seen in ages and hang out a little. That means, not being bothered with the fake and phony and doing something just because. Life is way to short for that BS.

The new year is shaping up to be an interesting one, that's for sure. Check back in later!

2009-12-23T08:23:00.004-05:00

ALL I NEED IN THIS LIFE OF SIN, IS ME AND MY iPHRIEND...

After the tragedy of losing my beloved blackberry, I was humbled by the more than 6 weeks I had to use a bootleg cell phone. A pre-paid sort that slides. I couldn't stand it! Texts took me forever. I didn't even try to get MMS. It was just wrong, all the way around. I researched and probed many people and asked them: new blackberry or iphone?

Problem solved folks! I am officially ready for 2010.

I went ahead and got a 3GS. Here's how it went down. Eligible for my phone upgrade Snow Storm Saturday. Monday, got to work. Logged onto to my computer. 9:30am walked across the street to the phone store. 10:30 walked back to office with shopping bag of goodies. 10:30 to 5:15...played on phone. Hell, I didn't even eat lunch! My boss is out all this week so it seemed completely logical. Many people are like, you're going to be playing with that thing for the next MONTH. Wouldn't be surprised in the least!

Now, I appreciated my blackberry. But I think that it was better suited for business folks and people that really really really need to be in touch (with some damn body), especially via email. I also loved that it had an actual keyboard.

But in relative terms, I'm still young. I wanted to have fun with my phone, so I went with the iPhone. I brought it home Monday night and showed my baby girl...she said, "They really do have an app for everything. I thought that was a joke!".

I then handed her the bootleg phone, charger and owner's manual. Told her it wouldn't work until I got it turned on in June. She didn't care. I imagine she'll be like me and pretend with it like I used to do with my mother's old checkbooks. So she ran upstairs and promptly dropped it on the floor. CLASSIC.

In other fantastic news, my hubby - best f'ing man in the world - is buying me a car for Christmas! That's right folks...a car! This is not a commercial, so "its not a Benz" (hubbys words) but its a car! Tell me how many other people you know have actually gotten a car for Christmas. When we decided to not put up a tree or decorations this year, I told the kids its cuz, "MY CAR WON'T FIT UNDER THE TREE!!!!".

Very pleased am I with that revelation. Special shout out to my mother in law who let it slip right before Thanksgiving!

So as I cruise into 2010, I almost feel like a new woman. A new car. A new phone. Same husband and same great life. Truly blessed is the only real way to put it.

This year, there were so many reasons for us to be down: economy, housing slump, unemployment, etc. But remember to recognize your blessings because we all have them, and they are usually in abundance - we just don't know it.

2009-11-25T08:56:00.004-05:00

Returning from a wonderful and relaxing Thanksgiving break. I ate entirely too damn much, for sure. And have guilted myself into eating salads most of this week. Too bad I still don't exercise...ah! A goal for next year.

Every morning I wake up to the 5 am news. I like to know the weather, what's been going on, etc. I gotta tell you though, its a slow news week. All the uproar this week is about Tiger and these White House State Dinner party crashers.

What's the big deal about Tiger's car accident? Why does the world feel like they are entitled to answers about what happened? Didn't the police determine that he made some traffic errors and fined him? What makes the rest of the world think they should pry into his home life?

I'm a Tiger Woods fan, to be certain. I guess its the half Thai, half Black thing going on. Whatever. If him and his wife had issues, those are their issues. You just knew the tabloids were going to keep going until they found someone to say, "I slept with Tiger Woods!". Do I think he cheated on his wife? I don't know and don't care. He won't be the first celebrity/atheletic/philanthropist to do so, so lets keep it movin.

Now the party crashers are something else. They just want to be on TV. They had the Real Housewives show following them as they got ready. Then got there and their names were not on the list! BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T INVITED. There is only two ways that should have gone:

1) Damn honey, we weren't invited by the President to the State Dinner. But we got all dolled up! Oh, well, that's what we get for trying to get the hook up via email. Lets go home/out to dinner/get the hell outta here.

2) What do you mean we aren't on the list? Cursing, yelling, shouting and then proceed to make an ass of oneself. Promptly get manhandled by Secret Service.

Here's a newsflash: if you personally were not invited to an event and you show up: YOUR CRASHING!

Wanna run amuk at Diddy's all white event in the hamptons? fine.
Wanna get trashed at the Governor's Ball after the Oscars? go right ahead.
Wanna loot one of those over-the-top sweet sixteen fiascos? help yourself.

But the White House? That's just tacky. She should fit right in with the RHW series. Further evidence that an abundance of money does not buy couth, manners or respectability.

2009-11-04T08:34:00.004-05:00

Fiddy vs The World Series

So tonight 50 Cent is having a special screening of his Before I Self Destruct movie in Georgetown. The Mr. is helping host the event and I coulda been in the joint with typical super VIP access. Would love to meet him since hubby said he's cool and a very smart business man. That really can't be said about a lot of these rappers nowadays.

BUT WHAT I REALLY WANNA DO IS

Go home, eat some pizza and watch the world series on my big ass tv. The Yankees have never won it all since I have been a true baseball fan (all of 8 years) and I remember my hubby saying that the year they lost to the Diamondbacks, we were watching the game and when they lost, I gave him a kiss and did the whole Meth/Mary thing, "Baby it'll be alright". Since that time we have had to endure not one but two world championships by our arch rivals. A team that took more than 80 years to do so. That was torture. But tonight that's over...WE WIN! I don't think I will make it to NY for a ticker tape parade but I'll substitute gloating around my office for now. Should be fun!

Christmas is next month and I am getting ready with the lists. Since I broke the news to the little one (I AM SANTA DAMN IT!), it should be fine. She's been going more toward technology every year. iPods, cameras, laptops, you know, the expensive shit. The other two are happy with cash and concert tickets most time.

But I'll be back before then. Later!

2009-10-30T14:07:00.002-04:00

I have become precisely what I despise...

A CRACKBERRY ADDICT. The short version of this story is that I lost my GD blackberry. The cherished gift from my husband...gone. And it was my fault completely. Shit happens. I mean, I had it for well over a year and am eligible for an upgrade in December. Leaving me...with a bootleg phone for the next, 6 weeks or so. I am not a happy camper. But anyways...

I went to see Jay-Z in Baltimore on Tuesday night. It was the first time that I have seen Jigga as the headliner and I was hype. Thank you, hubby, for passing them tix on. And HOV did not disappoint. He entered to Run This Town and kept it moving for most of the set. I was rockin. And my bb was in my jeans pocket the whole time. And then...we got up to leave and I grabbed my coat...and when I got to the car, my blackberry was M.I.A. So there you have it. I just sent an email to folks saying, "Partied so hard with Jay-Z, I lost my GD blackberry". And everyone seemed to give me a pass! LOL.

So after a little more than three hours of sleep, I woke up the next day and did a full day of work. Came home and stayed up all of one inning of Game 1 of the World Series. Apparently, I didn't miss much of my Yankees offense, because they didn't score until the 9th inning. And UG-Lee opening (as the NY Daily News headline read) to the WS for sure but I didn't worry. Its the World SERIES not the World GAME.

And then last night, AJ Burnett turned it up a notch and got us a win to even the series. Impressive was the duel between AJ and Pedro. They're just great pitchers and on the biggest stage of the season, neither was trying to give up much. We will see what happens this weekend in Philly. Should be interesting.

I need to plan a ladies night at my house. I have far too many friends that I haven't seen in ages and just need to get them all together. I love hosting parties-as we all know-but when can I kick out the hubby and kids for a night? Seriously. One of them is always around.

Speaking of parties, I wanted to have a MAJOR halloween party this year since it was on a Saturday but shot down the idea when the family trip to Myrtle Beach wiped me out. I think I'll do blowout HALLOWEEN next year. Tryin to be different, you know.

BE SAFE GHOSTS AND GOBLINS!!!

2009-10-21T08:19:00.003-04:00

Get busy livin' or get busy dying...

That's damn right.

Once again, I'm confronted with my own mortality. A former colleague of mine had a heart attack and passed. He was 39. When you know something like this, usually you evaluate your own vices, habits, lifestyle. And while I know that these things affect the longevity of my life, well, I guess the question really is: whatchu going to do about it?

I feel less concerned about my own legacy, I suppose. With my children still minors, I feel like they should be taken care of first. My husband, he would be fine. He was a self-sufficient bachelor before me so I have no doubt he could take care of himself. But my kids. What would they remember? Do you ever think about what your own memorial would be like? I have. And the older I get, the smaller I envision it. Really...who wants hundreds of people mourning you when probably only half of them REALLY cared. Nah, I would like it to be small. Family and very close friends only. No theatrics. No falling out please. No ex's or simple acquantinces. No drama. I want to go out as peacefully and as blessed as I came in.

And for the record, I will say that I, up til this point, have lived a full life. Yeah, at age 36. I had a youth that was *how to put it* OVER THE TOP! I was fortunate to have loved and be loved. I experienced euphoric highs like the birth of my daughter and devastating lows like the loss of my friends Barbara and Kim. Yeah, I've lived a good one so far. And with the grace of His Higher Power, I will live another oh, at least 30 to 40 years. And I will add new memories like my girls graduating and getting married.

I learned long ago to live with few regrets. I say "few" since I personally find it almost impossible to escape some of those damned youthful indescrections. But as a whole, I find regrets a waste of emotion and energy. Regret, to me, means you made a decision and you struggle to live with the consequences of said decision. You know, we all make wrong choices. Some of us make them all the time. Its only tragic when you don't learn from that wrong. We all know that some of lifes most valuable lessons are learned from a bad/wrong/poor decision.

I went to the bottom of the ocean with todays post. Its something about being here today and being gone tomorrow that just resonates with me. I guess I've seen and done too much to ignore it.

2009-10-12T13:33:00.003-04:00

I wasn't going to do a post today but since I am at work and there is nothing at all going on, I figured what the hell. Might as well do something. So this is totally random and off the top of the dome.

I wonder...

...what Lauren London was really thinking when she was already gestating and then found out Nivea was preggers too? Was she like, "Oh, no this muthafucka..." or was it more like, "Number three out of four ain't too bad!"

...if anyone has done a six degrees of separation chart starting with The Dream/Nivea/Christina Milian/Nick Cannon/Mariah Carey/Derek Jeter, and...whew! If you keep going, um, that's just gross.

...if folks that have anti-Obama propaganda stuck to their car really think of themselves as racists?

...if there are any repercussions for the office manager that talks down to anyone and everyone that is not senior management? (see previous post)

...if red sox nation thought for just a mili-second during their 9th inning collapse in game three, "Jesus, it's going to be another 80+ years before we see another World Championship!"

...are die-hard Skins fan still thinking this season can be saved? And if so, WHY???!!!

...why when I despise someone/something, I really wish the worst for them?

...why I might be one of a handful of people that can admit that previous line?

...about Bobby Brown's state of mind. In his Behind the Music episode, this man says that the low point in his life was when Superhead posts his ass sleepin on her couch on YouTube. Really?! THAT'S rock bottom? Hmmmm....

2009-10-05T08:49:00.004-04:00

CORPORATE SNOBBERY vs BROWN-NOSING

Let's face it, once you've been in the corporate world long enough, you run into one of these two. Or both. It was my unfortunate destiny to run into such a situation last week. As you recall, my last post was a little, um, frustrated towards the end. But anyway, for the uninitiated...

Corporate snobbery. In my opinion, worse than brown-nosing. Corporate snobbery is when a mid-level manager tries to flex their so-called power. You see, mid-level executives are smack dab in the middle of the food chain. Low enough that they can be screamed on by the big dogs but JUST high enough that when they do get screamed on, they can piss on the low man on the totem pole...like an assistant or clerk or whatever. This is what happened last week. I found myself thrown out there by a mid-level manager and it was crazy. Not because I'm not used to being thrown under the bus. Been there. But because the person that pushed me under was another minority female that I actually respected. My feelings were definitely hurt by the whole situation. But after a spa weekend...fuck it. Life goes on.

Brown-nosing is what it is. Its any level employee kissin ass to advance. Whether its to get the ideal schedule, a pay raise or just curry favor with management, a brown-noser heaps on the compliments to those who probably don't deserve anything but a swift kick in the ass.

Study your words for today, there will be a quiz next time!

2009-09-28T12:13:00.002-04:00

Suicide by 'Skins

Its a good thing I hung up my burgendy and gold jersey when I did...whooo weeee...do you smell that? Thats them 'Skins stinkin up the joint.

But enough about football, I'm sure we will revisit that conversation later down the road.

How bout them Yankees? Returning to the playoffs after an uncharacteristic no-show last year. For the record: FOX should never be allowed to broadcast another Yankees/Red Sox game - EVER - they suck! I just wanted to watch the game on mute, honestly. Anyways, I guess I will have to suffer through it during the post-season...

I was mad as hell earlier today here at work, but I'm over it. I did have to gather myself (in the closet next to my office no less) before they brought the ugly out in me. I feel like these people at work, they don't really know you. Sure, the longer they work with you, the more they FEEL like they know you. But honestly, unless your friends outside of work...they don't know what you're capable of. And that's where I am. So sweet at work. But lawd, get me pissed off and then it's, "Oh, my goodness...look at her actin all hood!" Truth is, I was ready to go on some folks this morning until I realized that it benefits no one. Certainly not me. So, I kept it professional, agreed to disagree and kept it moving. But did I want to slap the hell outta some folks? Ya damn right I did. So, I give myself a MAJOR pat on the back, cuz a few former co-workers will testify, that ain't always been the case...LOL.

Friday I thought about shutting this blog down, being as though I'm hardly on here. But I think I'll keep it hanging on for a little while longer. Its amazing the stress that was just lifted from banging out that above paragraph on my keyboard.

2009-09-15T13:24:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, when I first thought about this post - I was going to just skewer Kayne West for his outburst at the MTV Awards.

This morning, I saw the video from Jay Leno and I have decided to tone it down...just a little bit.

We all know what happened...KW jumped on stage during Taylor Swift's acceptance speech, said he thought B shoulda won, stunned the crowd and handed TS the mic back. Later, when B won, she gave Taylor the time to say her Thank You's. It was a very classy yet expected (in my opinion) move. It was the right thing to do.

He twittered an apology that night. But I was unmoved until I saw the video from his interview with Leno. There's a point where Jay Leno says that he had the chance to meet KW's mom and wanted to know what Kayne thought his late mother woulda said. Silence. I thought Kayne would lose it. I really did. KW admits that he was "wrong" and it was "rude". Those were truly the two words that I was waiting to hear in his apology. But the true disgrace of his actions was in what he did not say. It was the uncomfortable silence that permeated the room in those 25 seconds. HE KNEW HIS MOMMA RAISED HIM BETTER THAN THAT!

I also feel like he hasn't dealt with his mother's passing. Maybe that explains why he needs that limelight, that shine, that attention.

For whatever reason, uncontrollable outbursts have been sprouting up all over the place. Serena at the US Open. The congressman at Obama's speech. Kayne. Has the whole world gone and got coprolalia?

I think not. I believe in free speech. I believe that you should be able to be heard even when your opinion is vastly different than anyone/everyone elses. I also believe in respect and decorum. A time and a place for everything. Kayne had the right to speak his mind. He did not, however, have to steal someone else's glory to do so.

Okay, enough on that.

I celebrated seven years of marriage last week. A feat that my hubby and I really don't take for granted. Its been hard work, people. But I love my husband as much (maybe even more) than the day I married him.

2009-09-01T13:08:00.002-04:00

Did the summer blow right past you as well? I look up one day and I'm buying school supplies for the 5th grader.

Not that I don't welcome the back-to-school routine. I love it actually. It is truly the most wonderful time of the year! And as my girls are going to 10th, 7th and 5th grade...I find myself getting a lot more excited about one day having an empty nest. Yes, its quite a few years off but can a mama have her dream? Damn!

So there is much that went on during the summer. I can't even begin to get on all the happenings. It was a sensory overload summer, to be honest. I am pretty sure thats whats wrong with my children's generation. Too much damn information in too many damn ways!

First off, let me concur with my dear friend, Avin, in saying, "Facebook IS the devil!". Hahahahaha.

I personally, am not on there. But my brother is...and he gave me his log-on info so I could look at stuff from time to time. Come to find out that he has been in touch with all the old crew from high school. Isn't that great? For some, maybe. Me, not so much.

Lets just say that I am one that does not need to be in touch with people who knew me/thought they knew me 20 years ago. You weren't my friend then and you want to be one now because? I just don't get it. I am all for the rekindling of true friends that may have lost touch. I understand that happens. Especially to us old timers who didn't grow up with internet and learned how to type on manual typewriters in a place called typing class. But I'm getting off track here.

I DID find someone I never thought I would find again. She was a very good friend from middle school and we stayed friends well beyond graduation. But we lost touch and life went on... So when my brother told me that she said "HI" - I told him to give her my email address. Easy. FB made the reconnection but it was me that said, "hey, have her hit me up". Do I need to invite the rest of the graduating class of 1991 to my life? Nope. Especially if you haven't been a part of my life since.

I do flirt with the idea of getting a FB page - making like a social butterfly and sharing nice-ities with people I haven't seen in over 20 years - but fuck that, I say. That wouldn't even be the real me...like O Dog said in Menace, "I just don't give a fuck". Yup, that pretty much sums it up for me.

In other news, I had received an old school jailhouse letter from RDB. He's not currently incarcerated but since I am not answering his phone calls, he decided to write me. Strange since, he's not supposed to have my current address... But anyways, he writes and then I rattle off a two page response of my own in 10 minutes. I told him don't call, don't write, don't contact me at all until he sends some Got-Damn child support. This kid is costing me a fortune and he ain't got to pay shit? You know I ain't havin that! Muthafucka's and they free rides, I swear.

2009-06-08T16:10:00.009-04:00

THE RUMORS ARE TRUE...

I recently had a family member selected no. 2 in the draft by a professional sports team. Its a funny thing, being related to someone with some "celebrity". You always think of them as the snot nose kid they were when they were little. Other people look at them and want they're autograph, to take a picture or to just touch them. Its hysterical.

Being the DJ's wife, I'm used to the so called celebrity. Husband got friends that are rappers, actors, musicians, etc. Not mere acquaintances, FRIENDS. I've always been tickled by the way people react to them. The fainting and the crying. The shaking and the "OMG" moments. Its funny to me. On one of the social networking sites, it asks you who you'd like to meet. I once said Oprah and Russell Simmons. When I got the chance to meet Russell, I didn't even approach him. They're were plenty of folks in the room jockeying for position but that's not me. I just kind of hang back and chill out. Plus, in my mind, I wasn't prepared to step to RS without a full-on plan. I was so NOT ready to pitch my ideas so why half step? This was Russell Simmons, so you know I was going to come prepared or not at all...that day, it was not at all. And I have no regrets.

So back to the issue at hand. Is they're anyone that could have me shook like that? Hmmm....my social worker sister "the responsible one" has a thing for Common. My other sister, "the newly married one" - Busta Rhymes. Me...I dunno. I mean, I would probably just be speechless if I met Oprah. However, unless it was on the humble, I'm guessing I would be fully prepared to pitch to Ms. O.

So who could get me there? President and Mrs. Obama? I would be honored but falling out? Not likely. Angelina and Brad (cuz you know how I love them)? I'd probably be smiling from ear to f*ing ear, but crying - nuh uh - how can you see such beautiful people with walrus tears in your eyes? Denzel? Nope. Spotted him in Atlantic City once and he had his hat pulled down low enough, that I figured he didn't want to be run up on...

The point is: folks that we think of as celebrities are still regular people - they just have more money and they're face is plastered on a billboard or magazine. The media can actually dictate who can be an overnight sensation, the same way they hyped the East Coast-West Coast rap war that lead to the demise of two of the greatest emcees ever. Yeah, its that serious. And as fast as they can catapault you up there, they can bring you down. You need no talent or vast sums of money. Hell, sometimes you don't even have to be remotely attractive. Two worlds, folks: Paris Hilton. A tabloid darling for flaunting being a hoe and having a sucessful great grandfather. Go figure...

2009-04-13T08:38:00.008-04:00

Ahhhh....spring is in the air! Or is that just the pollen and ragweed?! Hmmmm...

I've only blogged about this once a year for however long I've had this thing...DC in the spring can be really beautiful and annoying. But instead of going off on the typical tourists rant, I'd thought I'd change lanes. A fitting transition for my topic of the day.

So riding down 301, I saw a billboard with a radio personality telling people in cars to watch out for people on motorcycles. Yeah, ya read that one right.

First off, I have absolutely nothing against motorcycles and the people that ride them responsibly. Those keeping up know that my college friend was killed on a motorcycles over ten years ago. In fact, I've known a total of 3 people that have died in this area on motorcycles.

I take issue with those who want to dart in and out of traffic like pinballs and those who fly up route 50 doing something suicidal like 200 miles per hour drunk. I take issue with ya'll little clubs who take up 3 lanes and slow down the whole pack to holla at some skitches in a neighboring car. I especially take issue with yall asshole parents who have their under 13 year olds riding on the back with no freakin helmet. If you are any of the above and then cry foul when your buddy is wrapped around a tree or in a coma-this post is for you.

Although the death of my friend left me completely scarred, it didn't stop me from riding on the back of friend's motorcycles (back in the day, of course). Its intoxicating - the speed. Quite a workout too. I see the appeal, the whole biker boy/chick thing. Cool ride, cool jackets, I get it.

Bottom Line: As a veteran driver, I'm already doing the things needed to look out for you. Signaling, looking back, double checking the rear-view. I certainly don't need a billboard to tell me your out there lurking behind the 16 wheeler! But do your job too: realize that you are riding a very small piece of metal and are being safeguarded by a hard plastic helmet. Know your place. Because when it comes down to it: Expedition 1, Kawaski 0.

2009-02-10T11:00:00.005-05:00

ONE AND DONE

So last week when I heard about the woman who had octuplets in California, initially, my heart went out to her! Single-handedly, she had surpassed the number of kids me and my 2 sisters and 1 brother have: together! Then, more info starts rolling in...first, she already had 6 damn kids. She's divorced. She used IVF. She's unemployed. She's...

COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY PSYCHO! HELLO?! 14 damn kids and none of them have the last name Jolie-Pitt? Yeah, right. Is there a bed available by John Hinkley?

Am I saying that if she had money it would be okay to have 14 children? No, well, yes, ummm, kinda! You got-damn skippy! But in the very least, you need some benefits boo. Is it automatically assumed that Bravo or Lifetime is going to pitch a reality show to you? Don't you think the exec's at those networks think you may already be off your rocker? You're 33 years old and have 14 kids! How far is a couple hundred thousand going to go with 14 damn kids? A couple hundred thousand may last me til the youngest of my three gets into high school...ummm, she's in the 4th grade. With 14 damn kids, that shit will last until next year. Seriously. Food, clothes, diapers, daycare - oh, never mind...you ARE a daycare...and a school...with its own football team...

I am, I'm quite sure, the exact opposite of this woman. Hell, my youngest is having challenges in school right now. Hubby says, "I REFUSE to let her fail! We'll go over homework three times!". I threw up my arms and said, "Well, if you WANNA drop out of elementary school..." (OK, not to her face, but to my sister who quite literally fell out laughing). And you want to do THAT 14 times? No, thanks. You should be committed. Permanently.

CHANGING LANES COMPLETELY...

I normally don't watch BET because...I just don't...but I wanted to see the BET Honors and some performances. Among the honorees were Mary J. Blige, B. Smith and Magic Johnson. I ain't gon lie, Anita had both me and Mary justa cryin when she sang "One". Anita where have you been? I was rather disappointed with my girl Keyshia Cole, she looked like she was wearing a gold trash bag and she seemed very nervous...I kept flipping channels but what I saw was okay. I have also determined that Gabrielle Union is completely bi-polar or a better actress than anyone on the planet realizes: she switched voices, attitudes and swagger every time she introduced a man to the stage. Interesting.

Last week I went to see the lowly Wizards play the New Jersey Nets at Verizon Center. Man, they suck. Injuries, I know. But what's your excuse for playing with zero enthusiasm? My 12 year old daughters AAU team could go out there and play harder than they do/did. Let me get this straight: you folks probably built up your entire life to play in the NBA and when you get there, what? you play like "cabdrivers" as we used to call them?! Bums. No pride involved whatsoever. Every single bench rider on that team is earning the league minimum, maybe more. And as if the money is not enough, ha, you can legitimately put on a job application, "PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE". I'm gonna need you all to reach into them baggy ass shorts, find your (or SOMEBODYS/ANYBODYS) nuts and play some basketball, fer real. This is your job not summer league pro-am.

And since we are on the topic of basketball, you know I gotta give a shout out to *my first love* cue the damn Rene and Angela - CHRIS WEBBER...

Man, we goes back. A few years before the ill-fated time out, when you and me were both freshmen in college. You at Michigan. Me at an HBCU. I saw you and said, he's damn cute. Over the years, you would leave school early. I would leave school early too. Eventually you'd land in DC and I felt we were destined to meet but it was not to be. You used to play playstation with an acquaintance of mine. My friend and your friend even got together and had a kid. I strenuously denied all the allegations they hurled at you and even when they said you was dating some whack dj. I was just ten minutes away the night you bought that bag of smoke around my neighborhood, getting arrested an hour later. If only... and before I knew it, you were gone. Gone to Cali.

I kept up with you and the Kings. You, JWill and Vlade made me a kings fan. The week I got engaged, I had tickets to see the kings and the wizards. You were there. So was tyra. I thought you didn't look too good. You looked a little tired, wore down. I blamed tyra. What was she doing to you? Could it be I was over you after all this time? Was my recent engagement clouding my judgement?

And then, like most first loves, it just faded away. You went on to the 76er's and the Pistons. I went on to be mama and wifey. And then it was time. With my husband out of earshot, I sent a quick prayer up for you when you announced your retirement.

I watched the video of the Kings retiring your number 4 jersey. Your lookin like your old fine ass self. I hear your on TNT now, too. Maybe I'll pay you a visit just for old times sake. See how your doing. Check in on those dimples.

2009-01-14T08:42:00.002-05:00

Two days back-to-back...isn't that a treat for you!

While I am over the moon about the upcoming inauguration of President Obama, I will be in the comfort of my warm home watching this historic moment on HD. That means, I can see every spectator on the mall, every Senators nose hair, every-damn-thing. When we watch sports, I can see the damn grass grow on the football field and the laces on the baseball. Attendees of the swearing in - you've been warned. Don't make me have to put you on blast for pickin your damn nose. The HD police will be posting it here!!!

DC, meanwhile, has gone fuckin nuts! Its going to be the Kennedy Center Honors/Howard Homecoming/Million Man March on steriods! I had no intentions of coming into the city - plans I made abundantly clear to my boss, my husband, and anyone that would listen on November 5th. I love the Obamas! I helped make and witnessed history. Hell, I even understand the want and need to participate and/or watch the parade. But I will be at home, crying tears of joy in my pj's. And when someone asks - Yeah, I was there. The day before and the day after. At work.

Staying in line with the glitzy glam world of celebrity and over the topness...I stayed up and watched the Golden Globes on Sunday. "Hello...hello...mama talkin'!" if I can find it, will be my mother's ringtone! Hysterical. Now we know what its like to be Diddy. Oops, my bad, Marc and the twins. I made a comment to hubby about my eye candy being in full effect. He shut me down. But anyway - Brad and Angie. Mark Wahlberg. Johnny Depp. Colin Farrell. And although I personally am not a fan of HERS, Beyonce and Jay always look very elegant at these events. Everyone looked really nice and behaved, um, alright - I guess. Mickey Roarke is off the chain - but from the man who brought you Wild Orchid's - what did you expect? Some of the cocaine jokes and personal attacks were a bit much (a la Sascha Baron Cohen) but whatever...I don't work in that town, you do! Deal with it. I haven't watched awards shows in many, many years but thought the GG were a nice return after last years writers strike "announcements". Wasn't feeling Drew Barrymore's 80's hair though I love her!

2009-01-13T13:43:00.002-05:00

*IT WAS ALL IN MY MIND*

Ya'll know just how much I love my damn husband. I swear he is truly the best thing that has happened to me. But last night, this man tried to tell me the most ridiculous bullshit ever. On a topic that I know all too well!

It started out so simple: if you won the lottery, would you allow the place that sold you the winning ticket to put your picture in their place of business for all the world to see? I said, Hell no! I don't want everyone knowing my/our business. He goes on to ask why not and I say, "Haters".

He then proceeds to tell me, "If you don't think about them, haters cease to exist". EXCUSE ME? Is that all I had to do to banish these jealous, spiteful bitches away? Wish them gone. **POOF?!** Well I'll be got-damned! I guess thats what I've been doing wrong since the 7th grade.

Apparently, to hubby anyway, haters are a state of mind. I just can't disagree more. I have seen and heard first hand, hateration in full effect. Yes, I used to not understand it. But now, as a grown ass woman, married mother of daughters age 15, 12 and 10 - I acknowledge it exists, deal with it and move on.

15 years ago, if a chick stepped to me with that hatin' shit, there would of been some hollerin, a whole lot of cursing and some "hold my earrings" moments. But I ain't for that shit no more. So I deal accordingly. And for the record - most of the hating I've witnessed (let's say 90%) has been, in true catty style, said behind folks (or my) back.

I'm pretty sure my impassioned "haters DO exist" speech fell on deaf ears - but thats okay. Like the Notorious one said, "I HATE YA'LL TOO"

2008-12-30T13:27:00.002-05:00

Okay, okay, so that WASN'T my last post of 2008...

Honestly, where does the time go? A recap of sorts:

I am going to stop smoking. Today, December 30th, is day TWO. Go ahead and get your laugh on. This shit is hard. Every empty second of yesterday I thought about buying cigarettes.

Didn't love The Real Housewives of Atlanta as much as I thought I would. I did like Lisa and DeShawn, though. Sheree and Kim - know plenty of folks just like them here in DC...so thats nothing to write home about. And while I like NeNe for being honest, she was also extra(!) hood. The classic example of how money can't buy taste or class.

Keyshia Cole: The Way it Is became a 4th quarter sensation on my boob-tube. Hubby caught me flippin between Real Housewives and Keyshia Cole and jumped on me for indulging in such trash. When I say berate I totally mean, "You should be utterly ashamed for watching this filth!" But what can I say, I look at that show and marvel that that level of dysfunction exists. That shit makes my family look like the Bradys. But loved it!

The Obamas. I felt the change November 4th. I felt it standing in line at 6:30am with the 200 other folks. God Bless.

I'm a retired Redskins fan. Most of my friends thought I'd jump back on the bandwagon after the first 8 games but I didn't. I retired when Darrell Green and Art Monk entered the Hall of Fame. My kids and husband want me to convert to the Cowboys but...NO. Not going to happen. I said I was a retired Skins fan, not completely crazy. And you should have heard the responses I got from various people! My favorite was, "There's no such thing!" I laughed about that for about a week.

I wish I still loved basketball. I just can't watch grown men that get paid millions of dollars cry about a foul that drew no blood or broke no bones. Show some heart for heavens sake. And by the way, diving after loose basketballs is still permitted...encouraged even. Look it up.

I could go on and on with the stuff that I've seen and heard this year. I won't. I will just sum it up by saying that I lost a few good ones, gained a few ones back and made peace with myself on many different levels.

I know for sure this is the last post of 2008 so be safe out there!

2008-12-09T13:08:00.002-05:00

Been a while, I know. Lots of stuff going on, keeping me busy and knee deep in...everything.

My mother's best friend passed away. She was like an Aunt to me, so it hurt. I ended up speaking at her memorial service. I told a funny story about the time she forgot to pick me up from gymnastics when I was a kid and how it was me that got in trouble. When we got older, we'd laugh about it. She got me my first job. She taught me how to keep basketball stats. She gave me a strong work ethic. So, all of that - and the fact that hearing my mother cry breaks my heart every time - make for a very sad couple of weeks.

Professionally, I am utterly satisfied with my nine-to-five. I've become one of those pain-in-the-ass people who talk about their job and you hate them because they love it so much. Yeah, that's me...and yeah, I've never been able to say that shit before. After 15+ years in the workforce, I done found a job I actually want to stay at for more than 3 years...

The gift baskets took a hit. Working capital was almost non-existent so I wasn't able to do my thing for Christmas. I felt bad about it for a second but I mean really, who is buying $100 gift baskets nowadays? Exactly. I am still striving for greatness but without funds, the pace is more of a stroll than a sprint.

I can never get enough of telling the cyberworld how much I love my damn husband. I know I got a good one.

I'll probably be rolling into the new year without another post...so for all of you out there...have a safe and happy one...see you in 2009!!!!

2008-09-23T13:15:00.002-04:00

FOR ALL YOU HALF STEPPERS OUT THERE...

Quite frankly, I am sick to death of folks doing shit half-assed! What is that shit? Didn't momma ever tell you "if you gonna do something do it well?" Seriously. The world is full of muthafuckas that give half (or even less) an effort.

For instance, that lazy heifer at the CVS down the street. Your job: to scan items, put them in a bag, give me my proper change and keep it moving. Why in the hell do you need to ask if I need a bag? Just gimme one! Do you really think I'm walking out of the store with a stick of deoderant, some gum and shampoo in my bare hands?

The more than lazy receptionist at my job. We break records of incompentence here. Answer the phones. Sign for packages. Greet guests. Can you do all that in between your 8 hour cell phone conversations? Can you be a more than 40 year old woman and start every sentence, "They ont be knowin..." Not cute. at all. I thought about giving her a pass since her skill set is VERY LIMITED but you know what? Fuck that. You been at your job for 20 years and you still don't know whose supposed to get whose mail when the list is right in front of you? Nah, hell nah in fact.

Now, does my frustration stem from the fact that I am, in many (ok, damnit, MOST) facets of my life, a person that seeks to give my all? Maybe. Almost certainly. Can not help it. I was raised by a momma that said, "Anything worth doing is worth doing well". Thats the way it was. She didn't expect perfection or a 100% success rate, she just wanted to know that you gave everything you had toward the cause.

So once again, we are back to home training and the way folks are raised. A subject with no end...

Changing lanes, I spent three days in New York last weekend and it was glorious! Hubby and I were celebrating our 6 year anniversary and we caught a Yankee game (one of the last at The House that Babe Built), ate well and I finally watched that damned Sex In The City movie. Hubby was in his element: hanging out with buddies, drinking Ballantine beer and feasting on a honey turkey sub that he swears is only done properly at the cornerstore deli's in New York.

Six years is a long time to be married, yes? Depends on who you ask. Standing next to Nana and Grandaddy's track record of 67 years...I think not. But looking at a friend who got married the same year and is now in the middle of a divorce, I guess so. It could go either way.

2008-09-11T16:52:00.003-04:00

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED...

A few weeks ago, I was browsing the local Staples and one of their employees walked up on me and started breathing down my back. After he damn near bumped me out of the isle, I turned around, mugged the hell out of him and swung back around to my shopping cart. Then I did a double take. It was...wait for it...yet another one of those old friends from "back in the day".

This time it was a little different. He was a very good friend of my Godbrothers and back then, we were tight like glue. NEVER intimate...never went there...was never even attracted to him or his type...just a good friend that walked with me during some of the highest and lowest points of my life (ok, until the age of about 26). It was so good to see him after about 7 years...I started cussing his ass out immediately with the "Where the hell you been?" tirade.

I knew he was in touch with my Godbrother and told him to call him up. So he did and when my Godbrother got on the phone with me, he hollered my maiden name - same way he did when we were younger - and gave his signature smirky laugh. "I mean, where you been Godsister? I only been lookin for you for about 3 or 4 years now".

I concede to being a pretty crappy person when it comes to staying in touch with folks from 'round the way. I eluded to that many times in this here blog. I guess I always felt like if we go back to them days than the results would be the same: drama, death and dysfunction. And I have grown up, so that shit is not appealing at all.

Well, I stepped out there and gathered my three girls and my Godbrother for a mini family reunion. It was love. I can't begin to describe what its like to know someone when they was young, wild and reckless and to now see them as grown, chill and responsible people and parents. But thats what happened to my fam. We laughed and just took it all in.

I may not be THAT girl I once was...and thank God for that...but shades of her still exist. I used to fight it, hide it even. But looking at it now...THAT girl made me into THIS woman.

2008-08-11T13:30:00.003-04:00

I started to blog earlier this week about Bernie Mac and Issac Hayes. But then life, as usual, got in the way. So, here I sit at the receptionist desk, doing the shit job of answering the phones from 3-5pm on a nice ass Friday. Symbolic almost.

Thoughts and prayers go out to both families. Also, thanks...thanks for sharing these talented men with the rest of the world. We laughed and grooved a lot more for it.

On Monday, I had a little bit of free time and so I googled "bernie mac quotes". Why is it that we all love the same quotes? A lot of the "The Lord is my shepard...and he know what I want/Mrs. Parker" from Friday quotes. A lot of DollaBill quotes from Playas Club. A few things from the Kings of Comedy. Even some of his not-as-successful movies had favorite one liners posted. But when I remember Bernie Mac, I will remember than uncanny delivery. Fer real, how many damn ways can you say "I ain't scared of you muthafuckas" without evoking the man himself? It's almost impossible. And then you hear from colleagues and associates that the man was about family, first and foremost. That he went on tv and was proud he didn't have any children outside his marriage. Funny AND a family man? Remarkable.

Now, hubby knows all about Isaac Hayes. He recalled the Black Moses poster in his basement growing up and later, how hip hop would sample quite a few of his tracks. I was more familiar with the mainstream stuff that he did but never dug deep into who Issac Hayes really was. A forthcoming project for the DJs Wife, no doubt.

So many other things going on in the world too.

The Olympics. "The Redeem Team" is hilarious. I actually hollered out loud when I read that! Michael Phelps is literally blowing folks out of the water over there. And he's from Baltimore County, too. So I would cheer for him if I were awake at 2am. Gotta root for the home team.

A little thing like the Presidential Election is coming up soon. Heard of it?! For the record, The DJs WIFE, keeps an eye on stuff like this. Not only because I work in the national's capital but because I also hail from a long line of military/g-men. I grew up going to AAFB's Officers Club for brunch most Sunday's and Malcolm Grow was my hospital until my 2nd year of college. So I am well versed in this arena. So why haven't I addressed the ridiculous number of issues facing our country? Well, for just that reason...and where the hell to start? I think I'd like to keep this blog non-partisan and just for social chatter. I am certainly not shy about my political views. I know who I blame for the mess we are in. Do I need Big Brother tapping my phone and intercepting my emails? Uh, no.

Completely changing lanes...an article in the Post today quoted three late teens/early 20-somethings about the violence in DC/PG this week. They talked about how they feel it's normal, an everyday occurance, and that they grew up with violence like that. Example - one of them knew the address and directions (!) to the DC morgue. She was like, 19 or 20.

In the same article, they quoted two older people: maybe a man in his 50's and a woman in her early 40's? They looked at the young people, who were hanging out (uh, at a crime scene) and were sad for them, since it seems that the youngsters have accepted this violent way of life. They've accepted dying young. Has it come to that? Are the young folks not tired of burying their cousins and their boyfriends and their friends? If not, why?

I just turned 35 and to me, my age is a privilege! Every gray hair on my head is a well deserved, hard fought badge of honor!

Stay safe out there...

2008-07-29T13:19:00.003-04:00

*THE BIG TREY NICKEL*

If you've being hangin' with the DJ's Wife for a while, you would know that my birthday is a time of self-reflection. I usually go deep and see what I have learned about myself, the things I want to change and where I am going and how I'm going to get there. So I did that! And then I partied hard at ROCK THE BELLS!

In case you've never heard of it before, Rock the Bells is an annual hip-hop concert. This year was at Merriweather, where it should be noted the last concert I saw there was, um, Whitney Houston back in the late 80's...

Anyhow, I had friends meeting me there, my sister and her friend were going to hang out...my expectations were to really just have a good time with some good music. ROCK THE BELLS exceeded those expectations.

I imagine that that's the closest I'll get to a hip hop woodstock. It was insane! Rakim, Mos Def, DeLaSoul, Raekwon/Ghostface & Meth/Redman, QTip, Tribe Called Quest and Nas among others just gave me what I wanted: old school hip hop jams. They never play out! You never forget the words! It was so much damn fun!

Imagine, like, 10,000 hip hop heads that covered the spectrum: black, white, tan, red, yellow. It was love. Chicks ain't show up with fresh hair do's - they knew! It might rain. The humidity is killer. Ponytails were the order of the day. I think everyone just wanted to go back in time to when hip hop was about something...something that it's not now. I read the term "ring tone rap" in the review by The Washington Post and be damned if I don't agree 100%. In my opinion, that shit ain't real hip hop. Thats that junk we feedin to our kids cuz half of them wasn't even embryos when BIG and Pac died. Real hip hop took the stage on Sunday and rocked it like it was '87 - '93!!!

My favorite performer was Nas. Hubby is a huge Nas fan (read: both from the boro of Queens)but truth be told he was looking more forward to seeing his current fav emcee, MF Doom. Metal Face was a no-show from what I can gather but the Mrs. was cold rockin to everything from "Hate Me Now" (one of my personal theme songs) to "Bravehearts" to "One Mic". I hadn't rocked like that in forever!

Now, here's the hum-dinger of it all: not a single scuffle or fight from what I witnessed. It was peace. And I can't help but wonder why it is that we can't have us some serious fun like that more often? Yes, the crowd definitely favored the 30 and older set, so maybe that was it. But imagine a rap concert with no brawlin, no shootin - just love and peace and appreciation. That was a birthday wish come true.

Somebody call Kool Moe Dee, KRS-One, Salt N Pepa N Spinderella, Heavy D, LL Cool J, Doug E. Fresh and DNice and set some shit up! I'M READY!!!!!!!

2008-07-07T14:50:00.003-04:00

*CHEAPER TO KEEP HER*

Typically, I am not a supporter of people staying with other people that make them a) miserable or b) homicidal.

But since the celeb divorce rate is through the roof this summer, I figured I'd toss my thoughts into an already crowded arena...

ARod and Cynthia - Where to begin? Married for about 6 years "times" two kids under the age of 4 = a nice chunk of his newly minted 10 year NYY contract. Will she see as much as Juanita? Probably not unless she's got the photos to corroborate those infidelity rumors. PS - I don't believe the Madonna-fling rumors, I'm NOT mad if she went to Paris and cried on Lenny Kravitz's beautiful shoulders and true, I'm a NYY fan!

Shaq and Shaunie - Torn am I between the fact that these two have a ridiculous number of biological children together and that he made her sleep in a round bed with superman sheets. On the one side, his child support payments alone will set her straight until the last one turns 18. On the flip side of that, she doesn't do too bad herself, what? with the E! entertainment jobs and such?

Kobe and Vanessa - Unlike, JLo - Vanessa's love cost exactly $4 million bucks and was in the form of an 8 carat purple diamond ring. Not too shabby, if you can live with the fact that you allow your husband to cheat on you and the whole world knows it. Oh that! And the fact that your still willing to pop out even more of his babies after he was accused of sexual assault...

Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills - Here's the exception to the rule. Cheaper to keep her? YES! Worth the headache - HELL NO! Ditch the bitch and be glad that, while it took marriage and a kid - you finally woke up!

Juanita and MJ - Herein lies the gold standard of how to divorce your man and get half, more than half or close to half:

1) Ride or die. So you been with your man since high school, maintained the relationship, albeit by yourself, the entire time he was away in college, watched him get drafted (on tv) and relocated to a city and state you forgot existed until he was their 23rd pick. Give yourself one point for being loyal and down for your "man". Subtract two points cuz he's been cheating on you since the 10th grade.

2) You can brush off the rumors...until they're proven true! Sure, if your man is a celebrity or ball playa (pick a sport) or anyone else that people THINK have money - you're going to end up in the tabloids with the headline "Paternity Suit Pending" over your man's mug. No fear, they're rumors. That is...until the DNA test or Maury Povich come to a town near you and your children's future earnings have been divided by 12 - 12 other crumb-snatchers! Add one point for each child you have. Subtract one point for each kid he fathered while you've been married.

3) Spend to no end. By all means, bask in the glow of your man's success. By definition of marriage, his being rich means you be rich too DAMNIT! Add two points if you bought Momma a new Escalade. Subtract one point if you used your money to bail cousin Junebug out of the county lockup.

4) When you've had enough or your man's glory days are numbered for whatever reason (retirement/the knee goes out), start planning for your kids MTV debut on My Super Sweet 16, hire you the best attorney his money will buy, and check your states DMV database for the vanity tags: WUZ HIZ.

Happy diggin' hoochies!

2008-06-30T08:18:00.002-04:00

Well hello all you folks out there in cyberspace! I am back for a brief post since its been a while. A little of what's been going on in my world...

Turned hubby on to blogging and he's taken off! I've been doing this off and on for almost, what, 2 years? Haven't had more than 5 people read this thing a week - he's getting, like, hundreds of hits and just started. LOL. And please don't take this as some jealous gripe - my hubby excels at damn near everything he does - so that was to be expected! He's the man! As my teen and pre-teen nieces and nephew said when he blessed them with Lil Wayne bags, Ashanti tee shirts and cd's galore.

The baby's eyebrows are growing back nicely. Still not to their full natural glory but well on their way. We're working on the self-esteem thing and how to respond to haters.

She, by the way, is having a glorious summer. Spent a few weeks with the biological - nearly 2 weeks of him all up in her face all day every day! The thought of which, makes me nauseous and woozy...Then she started summer camp, where she is going to 3 different amusement parks, swimming, kickball, crafts and games out the wazoo. Ah, to be a kid again!

My little business is on haitus - a much needed break before I dive headfirst into Christmas. Yes, christmas!

On the homefront, all is great. I came home one day last week and my husband had made dinner! I was so pleased since the carpool driver was on vacation and I had endured a grueling ride home on the Metro. I can say this as well, we are celebrating 6 years of marriage, and I honestly love my husband more than the day I married him. Corny I know, but the God's honest truth. He continues to amaze me with the little stuff. The dinner. The "you should do that since you never do that" attitude. The way he does stuff even though I know he doesn't always want to - shopping and the like...I could go on and on but I'm guessing you get the picture.

I've said it before and I'll say it again...I lead a blessed life.

Not that it's void of daily drama's...after all, I got a baby momma AND a baby daddy to contend with. Time enough for that later, I'm not trying to ruin my happy little rantings! But do be on the lookout for the next post called "Daddy Was A Rolling Stone..." LOL

2008-06-09T15:30:00.002-04:00

SOMEONE'S BEEN DRINKING THE HATER-ADE...

So hubby and I jetted off to Los Angeles and Las Vegas for our semi-annual get-the-hell-away-from-the-kids excursion and had a grande old time. The 72 degree weather at 7am was very nice. It did get HOT during the day, but dry heat and then it was crazy breezy. Then of course, I come home and am in the midst of a heatwave. Nothing sucks more than a DC summer with unbelievable humidity. Mother Nature is no joke.

So while sitting at the Daily Grill across from the Burbank Airport, I call home. Its about 8pm East Coast time, so i figure I'd check in on the little one and let her know I'd be home the next day.

WHY DID I HAVE TO RUIN THE SURPRISE?

My Mom says, just like a Grandmother would, "OH! She's just been perfect...well...just one, little incident...but other than that...PERFECT! Just an angel!!!"

I'm like, well what little incident are we talking about?

She proceeds to tell me that the child, 9 years old, has taken the liberty of: get this, shaving her eyebrows!

*COMMENCE LAUGHTER*

Done yet?

No?! - okay....we'll wait!

Finished? Okey dokey....so on with the story:

My mom says that the child went into her bathroom to take her shower, closed the door and then yelled, "Grandma - my eyebrows are coming off in the shower!!"

Grandma goes to investigate and low and behold all the evidence that she took Grandpa's razor to her face is lying on the sink. Grandma says, "No they aren't...you shaved them off".

I laugh when telling this story since it proves one damn thing I've been saying all along: the child is a horrible liar. She can't lie for shit! And yes, this proves to be a good and bad thing. But as I tell the child, "your not a very good liar, i think you should stick to the truth!"

Anyhow - a 5th grade girl told MY baby that she was ugly and that the ugliest thing about her was her eyebrows. And that is what prompted my child to go all Freddie Kruger on her face.

Obviously, there are issues on both sides here. Won't get into them all - don't have that kind of time or energy. But yes, after the incidents that have happened at her school this year - I'm feeling like these GD kids are out of their GD minds!

Parents, lets be honest with ourselves: hate breeds more hate. If you're the suck your teeth - "she think she cute" - kind when you see someone who looks better/dresses better, than what do you expect your little girl will do when she sees a pretty little girl who looks better/dresses better than she does?

2008-05-08T16:41:00.002-04:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO YOU TOO DAMN IT!

Yesterday, the youngest child comes home and says to me, "Mom - my after care teacher said you need to do my hair." I thought about it for a second - and I mean a SECOND - before I said, "Hmmmm...really?!"

She went on to say, "Yeah, and she said if you couldn't do it to bring a comb, a brush, and some hair ties and SHE would do it."

*CUE TO LOSE MY DAMN MIND*

I went off! I said, "This is elementary school right? Not beauty school, right? Tell your teacher that you have a hair appointment this week. Scratch that! Tell your teacher that if she cares so much as to what your hair looks like...then it costs $35 dollars to get it done and we would gladly accept her contribution. Nah, hell with that..tell her..."

Am I really taking issue that this woman cares how my childs hair appears? Not really. The issue to me is that it is an unappropriate remark and that school is not the place where she should (if there is something wrong with it) get it fixed.

There are many, many underlying themes here:

First, who in the hell does this lady think she is? The hair police? Does this woman know that I leave the house to go to work 2 hours before my husband and child even wake up? Does she know that even if I do this childs hair in the evening, by the time she wakes up she looks like the Heat Meiser? Does she know that in her 9 years of life that she's been going to the hairdresser since she was 4?

I was seriously offended.

Then, I turned the tables on the child. Cuz after all, she's the one coming out of the house looking hella crazy. I told her that if she took some pride in her appearance, she wouldn't be about to get her teacher in some trouble. Okay, I said "SHIT" - sue me.

I went on to tell my child that she needs to step up her OWN grooming.

But what am I saying? This is the same child that was taught how to wash her body when she was like, 4 or 5 years old but turned to me not even 3 weeks ago and said, "Ma, whats the difference between washing up and taking a shower?" I was in disbelief! I answered her and then asked her what in the heck she has been doing every morning before school? "Putting on deoderant" was what she said. You guessed it - she's supposed to wash up in the morning since she takes a shower the night before. No wonder she comes home funkier than hell on gym days.

I was half tempted to call up to school and speak with this lady but my husband, the peacemaker, said he would relay my message. I doubt seriously that it had the passion and emphasis that I had when I dictated my message to him -but I digress.

I told myself, "No need to get all up in arm's, DJ's WIFE, you're still a good mom! Even though you don't hot comb your baby girls hair in the kitchen or spend four or five hours a week doing intricate cornrows..."

2008-04-23T13:19:00.002-04:00

Here we are, almost a month after my last post...my bad (to all three of you out there that read my here blog) LOL

I have been, not so much busy but, unable to sit still and do much of anything that resembles productive work.

My daily grid - work - is well. My closest friend in the office, my lunch buddy, turned in her resignation two and a half weeks ago and I have been dealing with the fall-out from that. This was the first week that she's been gone, so its a little wierd. I am trying to act like she's on some long ass extended vacation...

The side hustle - my little biz - is doing okay too. Its slowed down a bit, and I am kinda grateful for that. I was going non stop for weeks and weeks. I have done just about every kind of party you can think of now. But its still a labor of love, so its fine.

I hung out with my sister, the social worker sister, and that was fantastic. We don't get around to seeing each other much but we chat all the time, email and always say "love you" before getting off the phone. She has three daughters as well and they are just a joy. Beautiful children, funny and really intelligent.

The hubby is doing well. Business is strong and music is forever...

The kids are amazing. The littlest is an honor roll student now, and she's just been the proudest person ever, since dazzling us all with her A's & B's.

I've been truly blessed to have the life that I do. Could I use more money? Always! But if that is my sole complaint at the moment...then life is good. Really good!

I'm out for now...enjoy the 70 degree weather!

2008-03-28T16:09:00.002-04:00

I am back from Spring Break...rested, relaxed and just as happy as can be!

The child returned from RDB's house with 9 of her fingers in tact so I can't complain. I mean, I COULD complain but...whatever.

I had such grand visions of going shopping in LA or NY, hitting AC or Vegas - yet, nothing panned out. So I stayed home. I DID however, go to the first and second round of the NCAA tourney and that was fun. Almost seeing Duke lose in the first round...whooooo-hooooo....THAT was excitement!!!

There's really not that much to talk about at the moment. I figured since I had a break, I would check in...

LATER!

2008-03-12T13:09:00.002-04:00

Ahhhh, springtime...

Welcome, tourists! Welcome, cherry blossoms! Welcome, bus loads of children from Montana or wherever your from!

NOW SCRAM! Just kidding! You can visit but damn, do you have to clog up the food court at the shops between 11 and 3? I worker just wants some grub! Sheeeshh...

I am in a pretty pleasant mood. I am getting a raise and a bonus this week so that leaves the mrs. looking forward to a spring shopping trip, a day at the spa, and maybe a couple of days in a gambling spot. Whooooo-hooo. What's not to be happy about?

Kids? I am bout to spring break my damn self! I'm sendin the little one to DC for a week to live in poverty with RDB and hopefully she comes back roach-free and grateful for her own bed. A tough lesson to learn, but tis life!

Have I ever mentioned that I was writing a screenplay? Probably not since its the same damn screenplay I've been working on for the last ten years...

Anyways, when I was in college, I really excelled at a creative writing class. I decided that I wanted to write a novel. And then I changed my mind and wanted to write a screenplay. I went back and forth with this for a while until I really decided that the screenplay was the way to go. I did an outline and created character descriptions, etc. And then...nothing. I have a great story but finished...no! Long, long way from being complete.

I now just look at it as another one of my undone projects. Its a shame though, cuz I look at the Matt Damons/Ben Afflecks of the world and wonder if I have the next Oscar worthy story sitting around the house. I mean, of all the unlikely candidates at Oscar time - its always the indie story that surprises the Hollywood big-wigs. Look at the movie Juno. Its like "Who knew?" Maybe one day...

So, it is safe to say that you will NOT being hearing from me next week. I swear, I'm rollin the hell outta this town...

2008-03-10T08:19:00.003-04:00

Well, my show The Wire ended last night and I am already suffering from Wire withdrawl. I won't get too deep into the details of the last episode, but with all credit to David Simon and Ed Burns - that show was the shit!

I have watched other Baltimore based shows and movies, Homicide: Life on the Street, The Corner (both by Simon) and some indie films (the straight to DVD kind). The Wire, it must be said, got it right. Yeah, I have heard, "Oh, this season is too slow" "Who cares about the docks?" blah, blah, blah....

If you want violence for absolutely no reason, watch the news! If you don't see how the second season plays into the series, then you may have missed the point of the last five years!

I am not going to lie, I started watching for Idris Elba and Wood Harris. I didn't even get hooked until last Christmas, if you remember. But man, that show had me from the first episode til the last. I kept watching after Avon went to jail. I was still glued when Stringer was gunned down. Heck, I don't even think that I was all that surprised when Omar and Snoop got dropped they way they did. Because The Wire was less about drug dealing and more about the criminal enterprise of it ALL. And if you don't think that touches city halls, police stations, and newspapers around the country, than you aren't living in America, folks.

The Wire, if digested properly, opens your eyes to things you know happen but wish they didn't.

So thanks, David Simon and Ed Burns, the cast, crew and all involved with the Wire. Not only did you do a great service for your viewers but for regular citizens like me. I signed me and my daughter up to volunteer and plant trees around Baltimore with the Parks and Recreation, through the Ella Fund.

2008-01-23T13:28:00.000-05:00

Life's little ramblings...

I decided that my post today would reflect my life - ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE!

2008 has started on such a grown up note. With all that has been going on with my 15 year old niece, I find myself going back to the late 80's when I was fifteen. Not a pretty image but whatever.

I have decided that I want to have a birthday party this year for myself - and have an old fashioned photo booth that takes black and white candids. Like at the mall. I say I'm going to have a party every year...but then don't want to be bothered but this year I'm going to try to have that dang party. LOL.

Family is fine. Hubby is blogging now. Daughter is trying to redeem herself this quarter before she ends up being a 9 year old in the 3rd grade...again.

RDB has been around. He told me last week that he thinks the little one is resentful of me because I don't yell at her sisters. I gave him an earful on that note. Then he had the nerve to ask if his phone number is on file at her school. No, sir! But the legally binding piece of paper that grants me full custody is...

Its pretty pathetic how he wants to be a "hands-on" dad...oh, 8 years into this childs life...he honestly wouldn't know where to start!

Most of the friends are good. I mean the ones I bother to keep up with. Not the fake ones. Like the ones that call when they think your hubby has tickets to a show. Or the ones that want a "friends and family" discount on Valentine's Day Gifts. No, not them "friends".

All else in my life is moving quickly. I wish there were more hours in the day (so I can sleep longer).

What is with my obsession with Mark Wahlberg lately? Hmmm....I wasn't even a fan of the funky bunch but hot damn if he ain't been floatin my boat lately.

The Wire is back on and that means THE DJ's WIFE is back in full effect. Omar is looking to take a few folks out for doin his man Butchie like that...just exactly HOW did this skinny boy Marlo get so much clout? I mean, if it wasn't for the loyalty of Snoop and Chris, would he be so feared? Just a few things to ponder.

I am out for now...maybe I'll have some real shit to talk about next week...

2008-01-17T14:22:00.000-05:00

NC-15

I know at some point, I have mentioned that I am an Aunt to 7 nieces and 2 nephews. I have one brother and two sisters: each of us have 3 kids. You do the math. At any rate, the children range from 15 to 8 years old.

My eldest niece ("NC") is a 15 year old freshman in high school. Her father, my brother, just divulged to me that she recently lost her virginity! *GASP* His reaction...to take her out of school. Can anyone say, "knee-jerk" reaction?!

Now, I don't agree with that course of action, but I digress. All I know is that I named this child, taught her how to walk, and took her to get her ears pierced. I endured countless recitals, performances and so on. She was my FIRST baby. Long before my daughters, my neice was there.

So you can imagine how shocked I am about this revelation. I went home immediately and called a friend. I ended up talking for 4 hours to her. Therapy by phone.

My brother...he's on the verge of cutting this boys balls off. My sister in law, the RN, wants to explain it in clinical terms and then bust out with, "just DON'T do it!" And my husband, "oh, the thought of this has me scarred for life", is in complete and utter denial. You see, if the 15 year old niece has done it, our 14 year old daughter is hot on her heels. And that's not a stretch.

Do I think they are fast-asses? No. I think they're 14 and 15 year old girls with their hormones raging and their bodies developing and their emotions running amok.

And just when I get a hold of myself...and believe me it took all of last night and all of today...I think...Lawd, save me...I have to go through this with 3 of my own children and all six of my remaining neices.

Condolences may be sent to: The DJ's Wife c/o St. E's Psychiatric Ward, Washington, DC.

2007-11-28T14:15:00.000-05:00

Its been more than a month since my last post and so many things have happened. Obviously, the very sad death of Sean Taylor figures prominently in this area. As does the DC Tax department fraud case. I'm up to my ass in Christmas gift baskets and parties. And there is no end in sight to the madness. So lets get on with it.

Here's the thing that hits me when I think about this young man, Sean Taylor, dying protecting his family and home: 24 years old. Let me tell you: I HADN'T DONE SHIT WITH MY LIFE IN 24 YEARS. Went to a little bit of college...that's about it. I hadn't decided what I wanted to be when I "grew up", hadn't had a child, wasn't married, didn't own a home nor a car...hell, even life's real dramas hadn't even begun.

So it saddens me that yet another young man is gone over greed. Isn't that what car jacking and burglary and stick-ups are about? "I ain't got shit, so I'mma take their shit?" It pisses me off!

Now, you want stupidity? Lets look no further than the dumb-asses at the DC Tax office that have been embezzeling millions upon millions of dollars for the last 7 years (that we know of). The total at last count? Something like 30 million dollars! Who the hell did these women think they were? Ocean's Eleven?!

The media has made much out of the fact that the ring leader dropped at least $1million alone at Neimans. Have you ever been to Neiman Marcus? Uh, yeah...not unbelievable to do. Not even over 7 years. But I digress...

My question to the cyber world is this: WHEN WAS IT EVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH? Just keep lining your pockets and lining your pockets and no one will ever catch on? You are a mid level manager making about $65,000 a year working for the fuckin DC government and you bustin up into your office on North Capitol Street (thats the size of a Timberland box) in prada, gucci, louis vuitton, and louboutins? all at the same time? blessing your co-workers with gifts from tiffany's? *tsk, tsk, tsk* YOU DID NOT KNOW IT, BUT YOU WANTED TO GET CAUGHT.

Not sure who said it originally but one of the truest statements I've heard lately is along the lines of this:

Its almost impossible to hide WEALTH or POVERTY.

If these ding-bats with the get rich scheme would have know that, do you think they would have tried to live somewhere in between? ie. flying under the radar?

Not likely.

Maybe you'll hear from me again next week...maybe I go cruisin into the holidays and when I turn around it will be 2008. Who knows.

Be safe out there...

2007-10-31T13:06:00.000-04:00

So on Monday, I called up RDB, who amazingly has been working non-stop since his, ummm, release from rehab. So I'z been gettin my child support. And I told him that if I was getting my money, then this year I would give him some school pictures. As opposed to just sending a 5x7 to the one family member that I still do like in his family, his grandmother.

So I call about 11:30am and ask if he's working today. He says no, its his day off. I told him to take the train and come downtown. Without hesitation or a second thought, he's like, "When? Now? I'm putting on my clothes now!!!"

I told him after 12, to which the fool calls me at 1:30 and says that he's downtown, now what?! I told him I'd meet him on the corner of 12th and F Streets and when he wasn't there, I called him up and started buckin. Then I realized that he was directly in front of me. ROTFL!!!

Exactly how long does it take for you to not recognize a person you had slept with for almost 3 years? Ah, for the sake of this blog...I have no real answers. Its been so long since we seen each other, the first thing that he said to me was, "I see your letting your hair grow out." Uh, yeah...that's right, I just CUT 10 inches off about a month or so ago...

It HAS been a long time. I mean, the last time he saw the child was in March. I know for a fact he hasn't seen me for at least a year and my intuition tells me its been more like, 2 years.

So anyway, we head down to ESPN Zone for a late lunch. If lunch was 90 minutes, we argued about 75 of them. About what went wrong 7 years ago. Isn't that funny? I'm married. He's got another kid. We're talking about the reason we broke up. He even goes so far as to call a friend we both know to have HIM co-sign via Nextel two-way:

RDB: *BEEP BEEP* Hey! Guess what I'm doing? *BEEP BEEP*
FRIEND: *BEEP BEEP* Sitting in your basement, lookin at your daughter's picture and missin yo baby momma? *BEEP BEEP*
RDB: *BEEP BEEP* Nope. Better. Sitting downtown having LUNCH with my baby momma! *BEEP BEEP*
FRIEND: *BEEP BEEP* Fer real?! Ya'll getting back together? Ya'll should get back together and go ahead and get married!!! *BEEP BEEP
ME: *BEEP BEEP* Uh, a day late and a dollar short friend, I'm already married...*BEEP BEEP*
FRIEND: *BEEP BEEP* Oh, that...that's okay. We all make mistakes..." *BEEP BEEP*
ME: *BEEP BEEP* Uh, well, if my marriage is a mistake, I can get a divorce...your man here has other children, whatchu gonna say about that? *BEEP BEEP*

silence.
FRIEND: *BEEP BEEP* Man, just let me know when you going to get back together man. You remember...you remember the way you used to look at my man. Shooooo...I remember. *BEEP BEEP*

At that point, I was laughing so hard, I passed the phone back to RDB and said I was done.

While the conversation was highly animated and a little hostile, it was by no means conventional arguing. I mean, like WE argue. Funny how the things he chose to bring up were all bad. He was like, you remember you did this? You did that?! And for every instance, I had a reply for dat ass.

Oh, yeah - and he thinks I'm pregnant! That was the funniest shit of all!!!! He wanted to touch me and I was like, "IF YOU TOUCH ME, I'M GOING TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF YOU ON F STREET." So that was pretty hilarious.

But when we parted, I came away feeling a couple of ways. One, he seems to be doing alright. Substance abuse wise. He wasn't high. He wasn't drunk. He looked like he mighta put on a few pounds (which is good) and you know, he looked...sober.

On the flip side, the reunion completely reinforces many things: One, my marriage is the best thing that ever happened to me and my child. Two, even if I was single, I'd be crazier than hell to go back to that. And three, RDB, deep deep down is still an alright person. I found myself looking at him in a way that only an ex-girlfriend that bore his firstborn child could look at him. Obnoxious? Completely! Annoying as hell? Without a doubt! But I saw shades of the person I remember and it made me feel alright about letting my child be around him. So maybe the child WILL get to know her biological father. And it won't be through bullet-proof glass or in a room with padded walls!

Folks, we mighta had a breakthrough...

2007-10-30T16:51:00.000-04:00

"Court is for uptown people with suits, money, lawyers with three names. If you got cash you can buy court justice. But on the street, justice has no price. She's blind where the judge sits but she's not blind out here. Out here the bitch got eyes." -from the 1996 movie, Sleepers.

So many things have happened since the last time I blogged. Where to begin? Well, if you've been reading up, you'll remember a post in July that paid tribute to two of my friends who passed away. I am pleased to have an update on Barbara's case.

"They got him". Yes, Barbara's murder has been solved. Her killer was convicted last week. I have so many raw feelings about the whole thing, I just don't want to get into it right now. Maybe one day. I will say this though: After 14 years, I had resigned myself to maybe never knowing what happened. With that said, when the details and the who, when and why came out...it just seemed to not matter. Why? Because nothing brings her back. Not a conviction, not the death penalty, and certainly not LWOP. Don't misunderstand me - catching this bastard made me feel like justice was served (and after so many years, I never thought it would be) but I didn't feel joy or happiness. I just felt robbed. I felt like, "Why did it have to be MY friend?"

But life is...(fill-in-the-blank)...

I'll be back with the low down on lunch with RDB...you know you got to tune in for dat one!!!

2007-10-10T13:21:00.000-04:00

I am completely sad right now. About 10 minutes ago, as I was sitting down to man the receptionist desk at lunch time, I opened the Metro section and read it from cover to cover. When I got to the obituaries, I scanned the section and damn! Don't you know I knew someone in there today? A guy I used to work with. So sad.

This is not the first time that this has happened. Its actually happened a few times before. People I knew or was acquainted with, pass away and there would have been no other way to know, besides reading the paper. It doesn't make it any less devastating, let me tell you.

So, my friend, Eric, was a really good guy. Eclectic and artsy, he was a kind soul. There should be more of him in this world and I shall miss him.

----------- " ----------------------------------- " --------------------------------------- "

I talk about death quite a bit, huh? Hey, its been a part of who I am. A reoccurring guest on the soap opera that is my life. But this...this is nothing. I used to be obsessed with death and dying like BIGGIE. I am surprised that being a parent hasn't magnified my obsession. Yes, I worry about my children and what they do, where they go and who they do shit with. But thats part of the kids package. My mother says that it never goes away, the worry. Hence, the reason she wanted me to call her when I would be coming in the house after 1 am, when I lived with her. Ummmm..I was 30. But anyways, thats another post.

I guess a lot of my fixation with death is that I've just seen so much of it. When I was younger, I remember crying because my grandmother and mother were leaving me with some strange babysitter. I remember them getting into a black limousine and hootin and hollering like a crazy child cuz they said I couldn't go with them. They were going to my great-grandmother's funeral.

As a teenager, I saw a few guys from high school die unexpectedly. Sometimes violently. Sometime tragically.

As a young woman in my twenty's , I had a standard black funeral dress. I wore it about 20 times in the course of about 8 years. That of course, was the byproduct of being in the streets. Still, you never get used to it. Rather, I never did. Every funeral was sad. Every single one.

And when I finally got out of the streets, I found myself not having to attend funerals for 19 year olds anymore.

This leads me to my bizarre behavior this past weekend. I was running errands and riding alone (which doesn't happen often) and I figured I would relive my youth via a PA go-go tape. I can't listen to it with my hubby riding shotgun, he's from NY and HATES go-go. Can't listen to it with the kids cuz of the cussin and sexual references. So, solo it is!

Man, I got to ruffin it off and lost my damn mind! I love me some old school go-go. But then I get to thinkin about that past life, the fun we all had and how I should just go to the old neighborhood and hang...just for a sec..."I'll only say hi and roll out"...I....

I took my monkey ass home.

Reality sets in. I ain't 21 no got-damn more!! I got kids, a husband, a mortgage, a gigantic fuckin car note!

I battle with wanting to revisit the "old me" all the time. I don't know why really, since I got a really good life now. Maybe its the idea of flirting with what once was? I don't fuckin know.

2007-09-19T11:48:00.001-04:00

The Greater Good

This weekend, inspired partly by my friend Avin, but mostly after just being frustrated with myself, I chopped about 10 inches off my hair. What a freeing experience!

And, in doing this, I also helped someone else. I donated the ponytail to Locks of Love, an organization that makes wigs for children with cancer. I have decided that that's what I'm going to do from now on: donate it. It's a wonderful feeling.

Not so wonderful was the feeling I had at the allergists office this morning. She said I need to stay away from wheat, nuts and seafood for the time being. That basically means, I am being forced back onto my NO WHITE STUFF diet. Which, as you recall, failed miserably after about 2 weeks. Talk about a sign to get my fat ass in shape. A doctor telling you is something totally different than doing it for sheer vanity.

So, Monday, I'm back to it.

2007-09-10T13:35:00.000-04:00

What in da hell?!

Okay - first, I want to say that I was really rooting for Britney to make a nice comeback. But since that shit didn't happen, on to the real...

Ole gal looked high on something. Her dancing wasn't sharp, her lip synching was off (and she should have perfected that by now), the outfit was trashy and the whole performance was just stank. It reeked to high hell.

And this Sarah Silverman chick...I don't think she's funny, either. Maybe I don't get the dry humor thing but calling someone's kids a cute mistake...uh, yeah, not funny.

Now this fight with Tommy Lee and Kid Rock has me interested. Of course, it's over Pam. What else are they arguing over? Bud Light? Hell naw. I'm probably impartial here since hubby has hung out with Tommy Lee before and said he's a really cool guy but...Tommy has the two kids (and two marriages) to Pam. Kid Rock was engaged and married to her for about 10 seconds.

Have ya seen the pictures circulating from 50's new cd? Rumor has it that the chick is Ciara but I dunno. I don't recall Ciara having that much "body" if you will. And the picture with her hand down his pants?! That's just tacky. Honestly.

I'm no Kanye fan here so you know I'm bout to call him a big baby. He cries about everything. Get that man a pacifier and a bottle.

Congrats to Rihanna and Justin Timberlake. They deserved it. And that's my 2 minute review of the MTV VMA's. I would have rather watched a Runs House marathon or something.

2007-09-05T13:56:00.000-04:00

SO! Yesterday I had jury duty. What a complete and utter waste of time. I didn't get chosen (a good thing) and I sat in the juror lounge for 7 hours. I read Russell Simmon's "Do You!" cover to cover. Other than that, I chatted on the phone with RDB for a few minutes:

HIM: "Where you at?"
ME: "One of your favorite places, the Courthouse in Upper Marlboro".
HIM: "Whatchu doing there?"
ME: "Filing for more child support"
HIM: "Whatever"
ME: "Jokes, just jokes"

And that was it. I would have rather been at work. Oh, wait...I love my job...

Anyway, I am starting to think that I have some kind of social anxiety disorder. I don't really like being around people. Especially people I do not know. Funny, since I never seemed to have a problem with it before. I must be getting old. LOL.

No, really. This past weekend, a girlfriend from college had a massive cookout. I normally know everyone there but when I walked in (albeit, 2 1/2 hours late) I didn't hardly know anyone there. Not a big deal, but this is when I start to feel like, I would rather not be here.

Maybe I've just lost my social gene. I burned it all up in my 20's. Maybe some of them women/girls look at me so hard, they seem unapproachable and therefore, speaking to them is the last thing on my mind. Maybe I'm old and I don't want to make new friends, even temporarily. Who knows? I'm just not a people person anymore and to someone that knows me, that seems way out of character.

At any rate, I am focused on other shit besides being nice to strangers. School is back in session and my baskets are taking up considerable time. I've got baby showers, bridal showers, and birthday parties coming out of my ass. I've got kids in the 3rd, 5th and 8th grade. I've got no time to be social.

2007-08-22T13:29:00.000-04:00

What exactly is IN those Gatorade coolers?

Bad behavior and professional atheletes is a tale as old as time. Nothing new about that. But I have to say, folks are setting an all time record for misbehavin. The Vick brothers. Pac Man Jones. Ricky Williams. The Cleveland Browns. And thats just football. Don't get me started on basketball and baseball.

I guess in my mind it is all about money. And the truth of the matter is: not every one was meant to have enormous amounts of wealth. Yes, I said it. I am not saying that people should be poor either. I am saying that when given large amounts of cash, SOME FOLKS DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT.

This is not a racial thing, either. You can be purple with gold spots...someone hands you a wad of cash there's a million ways this could play out. Its all about morals and upbringing folks.

2007-07-25T13:46:00.000-04:00

Gotta little deep on ya with that last post, didn't I? Well, nothing of the sort today. I just feel like blabbing on a bunch of subjects.

Paris, Lindsey & Britney - Thank goodness your around! There would be all sorts of homeless photogs, bloggers and magazine editors in LA. On a serious note though, its time to lay off the drugs and alcohol and get your lives together. I'm so over all three of you.

Michael Vick - I had heard the "herpes story" a few years ago and that alone turned me off. But now, with these dogfighting allegations - you have officially become the OJ Simpson of the new millenium. You've lost most of your income, probably won't play football again, and will most likely go to jail. Herpes seems like the least of your troubles and when that's the case, you're in bad shape, buddy.

Posh & Becks - I watched her NBC show and I found her to be funny and engaging. Yeah, I could do without the scowl in ALL of her photos but, honestly, I thought she was charming. Her encounter with the celebrity blogger was priceless. And plus, her husband is HOT! He's my new eyecandy, move over (just a bit) Brad.

Back to School shopping - YES! Because a gal loves catching the 1 cent sales at Staples...and now I'm done! And I didn't spend more than $20. Beat that with a bat!

Karrine's new book "leaks" - Someone sent me an email that detailed her "rating" rappers and athletes...is there anyone she didn't/wouldn't sleep with? Hmmm...

The wedding that wasn't...Ursher & Tameka - This was totally his idea. What self-assured, pregnant, gold-digger would call off their wedding HOURS before the ceremony? EXACTLY! NONE!! Simple explanation: He done came to his senses, let's hope.

KG to the Celtics - I am a Kevin Garnett fan. I think he is incredibly talented. And with this one trade (him for 7 other players) he has made Boston a contender. That hasn't been uttered in almost 20 years. Thank goodness this is basketball instead of baseball. Speaking of which...

Them damn Yankees - The world is divided into three groups: the folks that LOVE the Yankees, the folks that hate them and the folks that don't watch baseball. I married a native New Yorker, so I inherited a NYY fan. And to be honest, I enjoy watching baseball and golf more than I do football and basketball. That's a hard statement to make, since I am a die hard basketball lover. But the truth be told, the NBA sucks. We all knew it would happen. The young guns took over and there are no more Barkley's, Jordan's, Magic's, Bird's or even Isiah's in the league. That's a shame.

I am however a fan of true athletes. Tiger, Iverson, A-Rod & Jeter, to name a few...show me some passion and dedication to your craft and you've got me. Nothing says lazy like a half-ass game performance.

Well, folks, I'm gonna wrap it up for now. I'm sure I'll have more to say later this week but ehhh, who knows?! Until next time...

2007-07-23T13:34:00.000-04:00

At this time of year, right around my birthday, I always, always think about my two girls who are no longer here. I'll share a little bit with you.

Barbara or "Redz" as I used to call her, was a childhood friend. We met when we were probably 12 or 13 years old. We hung out tough during some crazy ass "City Under Seige" days. Yeah, thats probably the best way to describe the late 80's in PG County/DC. And while she would introduce me to the "game", she did very little to teach me how to play the game or how to win the game. Those lessons would be learned much, much later. Anyways, Redz and I used to get our hair and nails done together, go to see Salt N Pepa and Heavy D together, and of course, hit up Go Go Live (1 & 2) together. And while most of the area was being held hostage by the raging crack epidemic, I was a regular 15 year old - just living life, having fun and booking boys.

When I finished 10th grade, my mother pulled me from public schools, where I had been my entire existence. She saw my life (before I did) spinning dangerously out of control. I was riding in stolen cars, getting into fights, drinking 40's of Cisco and Red Bull and spending the night at my boyfriends apartment.

Barbara, not to be outdone by me, the rookie, was always a step ahead. She was stealing the cars (her stepdads truck to be exact), starting the fights, buying the liquor and living at the boyfriends house. But still we were friends. We had been through a lot. While I was off at private school, she too changed schools. We saw each other less and less but stayed in contact. I saw her the summer after I graduated from high school, in 1991. By the end of 1993, she would be dead. Murdered in her own apartment, in front of her 18 month old daughter.

Now Kim and I met in 11th grade, after said transfer to private school. Kim had never been IN a public school, much less attended one. I had much attitude about attending an all girls school with wool uniforms and I let it be known the first day of 11th grade orientation when I had to stand up, state my name and what school I came from. Kim would later tell me, "I didn't like you right then and there".

Kim was the only child of a Metro bus driver and a career government employee. Her parents were not wealthy, but they were comfortable and had a nice house in Hyattsville. Despite her intial reaction to me and my 'tude, we became friends junior year. We started driving around the same time, coincidentially got the same kind of car (an Escort), and both had strict parents. We would pull the okie-doke routine on them almost every weekend. I'm at Kim's house. She's at mine. We'd both be with the boyfriends. Pretty ballsy, since this was before cell phones were commonplace and if your Moms had caller id or call waiting, they were pretty progressive. Anyway, Kim always had older boyfriends. Guys our age were just not her thing. And of course, me, I dated the thugs and gangstas. So neither one of us were in positions to be bringing the beaus home to meet the parents. And we helped each other out. All. Summer. Long. By the time we graduated from high school, we had the routine down pat and a long list of movies that we were supposed to have seen, but didn't.

Kim and I stayed in touch throughout college. She was far out in rural Virginia, me in Baltimore. I'd hop in my Escort and go down there on a Thursday and stay until Monday. Just hang out with Kim and her friends. Some time after I left Baltimore, she left her school and we lost each other. For about 6 years.

She found me one day on the internet! It turned out she lived around the corner from my moms house. I went to go see her and she was the same old Kim. From that day on, we were tight just like when we were teenagers. She would attend all my families parties and I would help her plan her parents' 30th anniversary blowout. Kim would pass away on May 21st of 2006 of heart failure. She never married and she never had children.

It took me five years after Barbara died for me to visit her gravesite. When I did, I was almost three months pregnant with my daughter. I remember wanting to tell her how sorry I was that I hadn't been there before, and that I was going to be a Mommy too. But when I got there, I just laid down and cried.

The last time I talked to Kim was two days before she passed. She hadn't been feeling well and she told me that the doctors wanted to admit her overnight. "You know, you mighta shoulda let them keep you, Kim" was what I said to her. No, she insisted. She had clothes to clean at home. She had stuff to do. I told her I wished she stayed at her Mom and Dads house that night and that I would call her cell phone, in case she did. Saturday passed me by and Sunday, Kim's friend had called the house and mysteriously told me to call Kim's mom. Not even in a million years did I think she would tell me that Kim was gone. I remember yelling to my husband and breaking down at the dining room table.

So what is in a birthday? For me, its about reflection and rememberance. Its about acknowledging how far I've come and how far I can go. Its being thankful for time spent with my children and my family. Its about being grateful that I have friends who sometimes I don't see much, but should I need them, I know they'll have my back. Its about letting go of hurt and hate and things and people that will hold you down.

But most of the time, its a day or even a moment of a day where I say, I'm still here. I survived.

2007-07-17T14:35:00.000-04:00

*Day Five through Day Nine*

I've been staying the course as far as my diet is concered. I will cop to having a handful of sour cream and onion potato chips late last night. I was hungry and sleepy, is my excuse. So, I gave myself a slap on the hand. That's as much beating myself over the head as I'm going to do, though.

I worked out for 15 minutes on the eliptical and did a good 5 minute stretch out at the end today. Invigorating and exhausting. I did feel good and will do the Tuesday and Thursday workout barring any work-related emergencies. The fat pants worked. I was sweating like Bobby Brown in a crack house. Not a good look though.

Hubby opened the Mos Def show at the 9:30 Club last Saturday. A good time was had by all, I think. He draws a pretty knowledgable and eclectic crowd. Hip Hop may be dying...but that show was a testament that there will always be love for true emcees, good music and that old school vibe.

Looking to hit up Talib Kweli in Baltimore on my birthday. He and my husband go waaaaay back to the days of pushing Rawkus lp's in New York, so its all love. We once went to an in store meet and greet in Las Vegas and he asked why we were standing in line. Hubby was like, "Oh, we're not here for the label...we're fans today." And Kweli was like, "So YOU ARE coming to my show at the House of Blues tonight?!" The next thing you know Kweli's telling his manager on the phone, "(Hubby's name) plus one". We hung out before he went on and then watched the show - from backstage. A very cool experience indeed.

Needless to say, all rappers aren't that way.

And wouldn't this be a great time to speak upon the inevitable? That's right folks, Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Diddy. Not even the most hardcore Sean Combs fan saw this union lasting. (Sorry for you in so many ways if that fan reference is you). Rumor has it old gal is going after $100,000 a month for child support. You do the math...whew!

Alright, folks..I'm out.

2007-07-12T14:05:00.000-04:00

*Day Four*

I was talking to one of my colleagues at she asked me why I was on a diet. She said, "you carry yourself well..." she didn't finish but I think she wanted to say, "for a big gurl". I wouldn't have been offended if she had said it but I think she was a little embarrassed that I knew what she meant. It is what it is, right?

I told her that for me, it wasn't all about losing the weight. Part of me wants to know I have the self control, the discipline to do it and do it religiously. The loss of weight is like the added bonus. I also told her that I'm feeling like Humpty Dumpty. My ass is all over the place and I need to put myself back together.

My lunch buddy asked me how I was going to act once I was put back together again. I told her, "A DAMN FOOL!". I am, after all, the one that went through it all.

But until then, I'm just the bread and potatoes deprived DJ's wife.

Another boring set of meals. Last night, I had to fend for myself and I ordered Chicken and Broccoli and Kung Pao Chicken from the carry-out. Chinese food is crap without the rice let me tell you.

This morning, my deli guy hooked me up with a massive ham, egg, onion and cheese omelette. So huge, I didn't even come close to finishing it. Lunch was a bacon cheeseburger with no bun and a caesar salad. Of course, I washed both meals down with a sugarless ice tea.

Not sure what I'll do for dinner tonight. Fish for the family but I'm not in a baked/broiled fish mood for myself. Leftovers more than likely. We'll see.

2007-07-11T13:59:00.000-04:00

*Day Three*

Everyday I'm confronted with people who want to eat potatoes! LOL

Baked, fried, mashed, with garlic, red bliss, the salt kind, chips, wedges, you name it, I love it if its a potato.

But the NO WHITE STUFF diet doesn't allow pasta, bread or potatoes! And its been a struggle. I look at potatoes and bread as dishes that are complimentary to chicken, beef or fish. The last three days, I've had to have a salad with my meal just so it LOOKS appetizing. I mean how many different ways can a grilled chicken breast look?

At any rate, I'm receving kudos from my co-worker that I go to lunch with. And thats good motivation.

Last night for dinner I had a leftover pork chop. Today for breakfast I had a ham and cheese omelette and a sugarless ice tea. For lunch, I had a side salad and a cheeseburger with cheddar cheese (no bun). No workout today but I normally don't work out on Wednesdays.

Next week, I will start back up on the eliptical. I have my fat pants (the kind that make you sweat extra hard) and plan on putting those on under my sweats. I can use any and all extra help!

2007-07-10T11:44:00.000-04:00

*Day Two*

So far, so good. Last nights dinner consisted of a grilled chicken breast and a salad.

This morning I had the same thing I had yesterday, eggs (this time with cheese WHOO HOO!), bacon and a sugarless ice tea. At lunch, I had a grilled chicken kabob, an entire bowl full of steamed veggies and water.

I also turned down the ice cream social at one of my properties. No point in walking five blocks to see someone else eat delicious dairy. So here I sit at my desk, visions of vanilla soft-serve with rainbow sprinkles dancing in my head. Pure torture but I'm going to be alright.

No workout today either but what can I say? I just wasn't feelin it.

2007-07-09T14:29:00.001-04:00

*Day One*

Day one of the no white stuff diet sucks...just like all diets. You really miss what you can't have. But I am determined to pull it together so here's my intake for the day. PS - don't worry, all my posts from now on won't be so boring...

Breakfast was some scrambled eggs, bacon and an ice tea with no sugar.

Lunch was a cheeseburger patty with no bun and a spinach salad, and again, an ice tea with no sugar. I should have asked the waitress not to even put the fries on the plate, but I forgot. So as soon as the food hit the table, I threw them all on the bread plate and pushed it away. It was easy but they smelled damn good.

Not sure what dinner holds tonight. Didn't take anything out, so I'm guessing it's going to be something quick and easy. Here's where I get caught up. I'm hoping I can get a salad while the family chows down on whatever they want.

No work out today.

2007-07-03T13:33:00.000-04:00

*CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL*

I am not one of these people that find fault in every aspect of their appearance. Nor am I strutting around thinking I'm the hottest piece of ass, either.

No, if I had to hold my self-esteem up for critique, I'd say I'm pretty average. My current weight, however, is not. I am the biggest I've ever been: pregnant or not.

Standing at an even 5 feet tall, I am a chocolate chip morsel away from a whopping 200 pounds. No joke. I'm a big girl. Which, I've come to accept. Happy about it. HELL NO! Accepting, ummm...yeah.

Let me give you a history lesson. I've always been short. I was 4'11" in the tenth grade, and in 11th grade and ever since. But back in them days, I was 85 pounds...soaking wet with Timbs on. I don't ever really recall being happy or unhappy with my size and shape, it was what it was. I knew I wasn't "stacked" like the other girls, though. But that was okay, I was just happy that I had something to put in my training bra.

I started putting on weight soon after an ankle injury sidelined my cheerleading career (10th grade). I was getting more attention from the boys and doing the pizza parlor/movie theatre thing almost every weekend. I never really paid it much attention, but I'm guessing this was the beginning of something. As time creeped on, so did the little pounds here and there.

By college, I was still in shape but rounding it out some.

By the time I left college, I had the munchies every night and was eating whatever I wanted, when I wanted. Still pretty much in shape but definitely had curves. I could still do a cropped top and be cute.

Well, that was about 10 years ago and folks, I have fallen into the fat ass mother and wife routine. I am not happy about my size. I never dreamed I would wear a pair of size 16 jeans. How did it get this far? And what to do now? Well, we already answered the "how did it get this far" question. It was put on slowly and over the course of many, many years.

The far better question is what to do now. Yes, I could assume big girl status forever and get a frequent customer card at Torrid, but honestly, I'm not built to be this big. C'mon, 5 feet even and almost 200 pounds? I don't care how attractive my face is, it's just not cute.

So, as my 34th birthday approaches at the end of this month, I've decided to just go all out. Fuck it! Come Monday, its no white stuff again and eliptical here I come. I got pretty good results the first time I tried and if I can maintain for at least 8 weeks, I should be in the best shape of my adult life.

It won't be easy. Its going to be hard as hell. But anything beats being this big!

2007-06-13T13:44:00.000-04:00

How was it ME that ended up with the lunatic baby daddy?

As I so eloquently (or not) blogged before...my youngest daughters biological father is a mad man. A bona fide St. Elizabeths candidate for wacko of the century.

Yesterday he calls to tell me that if I want "extra child support" that I should get "a 2nd job". That from a person who has exactly how many jobs? Thats right folks...none. Needless to say, I was stunned. I said, "I am hanging up the phone RIGHT NOW!"

After that, I promptly emailed one of my girls that is familiar with RDB and the situation. I just had to tell someone.

At any rate...let's dissect. Exactly what in the hell is "extra child support". As my girl pointed out, it implies that I am actually receiving child support. I haven't gotten a dime from that deadbeat in over a year. So I am a tad confused where extra comes into play here.

Then, for the 2nd job comment. WOW! RDB just returned home from a 2 month stint in the DC Jail so his current occupation is "drug dealer that is trying to hoodwink the DCPD into thinking he's a crackhead to avoid real jail time". That's his job. He's currently in an outpatient program in downtown. Hows that working out for him? From his comments yesterday, I'd say not at all. But that is my opinion.

Is it any surprise that I keep my child away from this loser? He's crazy as hell. And his family?! Lawd, lets not get started on the apples that are fallin from that tree. Rotten and bitter.

With all of that said, I have to be frank with you folks out here in the cyberworld. I am really not all up in arms about it. I mean, my blood pressure would be through the damn roof if I was stressing about child support, RDB and his "impact" on my child. I don't worry about it. I can't. Me and hubby are far too busy raising her and her sisters to be responsible and respectable human beings.

2007-06-08T08:48:00.000-04:00

Folks, its gonna be a SCORCHER!

Today is predicted to be between 95 and 100 degrees. With DC humidity! Folks, I'm surprised I didn't wear a thong and a bikini top and call it a day. So I did the next best thing...I'm in a white cotton sundress with a gauzey cover (and the only reason I threw the cover on was because I had to come to work and dress it up some!) I say by the time its all over with, folks WILL be naked no matter how grotesque their body shapes. PREPARE YOURSELF and get ready to avert your eyes for fear of blindness!!

The countdown has started and it is exactly two weeks before I leave the city and board a luxury cruiseliner! Thats right folks, I'm headed to the BAHAMAS! Hubbys family reunion is aboard a Carnival cruiseliner and we are going to have family, food, fun and sun! I can not wait.

Speaking of family - my beef with hubby was shortlived, as most of our beefs are. What can I say, we argue? YES. Does it last long? Not usually. I still take issue with the planned trip around our anniversary but whatever...we'll have more anniversaries and I'll make him pay through the nose for this year. Oh, yeah and since he's hanging with the homies, I told him he needs to upgrade my ring BIG TIME! LOL.

I don't have much else to report at this time. I have a very good life for which I am truly, truly thankful. A strong, healthy family. Amazing and loyal friends. The best job in the world. A burgeoning business with ridiculous potential to maybe make my financial dreams come true. Everything is good.

2007-06-01T16:02:00.000-04:00

And the runner up is...

Do you know how it feels to come in second place time after time? I do. I feel that way most of the time about my husband. I come second to work, his friends, and his music.

So why, you ask, do I stay? I've been asking myself that very same question today. And the answer is compromise. I have compromised my value to have a man who is monogomous. At least thats how I'm justifying it. I could have both you say? I doubt it. I'm a pretty tough person to deal with and it was hard enough finding a man to put up with all my shenanigans in the first place. Why chase off a good one just because he rather hang with his homies?

I won't lie. I've cried about it. Prayed on it. Vowed not to commit any felonies over it. But as the wife, aren't I entitled to at least FEEL like I'm number 1? Top dog? Nah, hubby hides nothing. He's going to New York the weekend of my birthday and is hanging with his homeboys the week of our 5th Anniversary. Take that!

Most people would be pissed. I was. I mean, I still am a little. But I guess I'm more hurt than anything. Add this with the fact that we're having sex once a MONTH and my self esteem is taking a beating. I'm not cute, not desirable, not wanted. And that fuckin sucks.

But hold the pity party for now. I am, after all, a grown ass woman...so I do know how to cure my blues. And the cure is called retail therapy. I don't need to buy the mall out. I just buy myself a nice "I love myself" gift. Think Tiffany bracelet or necklace...and problem solved. Sounds materialistic but it works. The key to this is, you must buy it yourself. Having him buy it or paying for it from his checking account/credit card is not the same. When you treat yourself to something nice, you are investing in you. And that is, like the commercials say, PRICELESS.

I will rebound from the runner up dumps. I will rebound like Ben Wallace wipin the boards. And I will be fabulous.

2007-05-21T15:54:00.000-04:00

A blast from the past that bites you in your...

So, I was walking back to work from lunch last week with my co-worker when we strolled by the Mickey D's in our building. I hear a rap on the glass window and glanced. As did the coworker. Who could it be, tryin to get our attention like this? I looked and looked again. Then I took the shades off to make sure I was seeing correctly...

It was a guy I knew from waaaaay back.

He waved and I waved. And then he left his food and came outside to say hello.

It had been ten years since I had last seen him. He was a youngin back then, me, I was just starting out what would be the hardest years of my life: my 20's. Lets call him Young Buck for the sake of this blog.

Young Buck was a cutie pie back in the day. He a grown ass man now! But more on that in a few.

Young Buck came outside, gave me a hug and said how I been? I introduced him to my coworker and we chatted for a few. Hows your brother? Got any kids? Married? Family is good. No kids, not married. I don't know why, maybe I was getting a vibe from Young Buck or something, but I felt the need to say, "You know I'm married, right? Um Uh, been married for almost 5 years now."

Later, coworker said Young Bucks little face dropped.

But as if to brush off my statement, he said, "You didn't think I would forget your face, did you?" And smiled his little cutie pie smile, the same way I remembered it back in the day.

As you can guess, Young Buck had a crush on me back then. I was the older lady that didn't look old. And, I would go out with guys younger than me. Okay, okay...why lie? I was sticking up the nurserys at the hospitals something awful. But at that time, I was going out with Young Buck's best friends brother (who WAS my age AND a dog) and there were a variety of other factors that also played into our not hooking up. But the chief one wasn't age...let me tell ya that.

So Young Buck looks good. Damn good. He's a grown ass man now. And when I said, "Damn, the last time I seen you...was about 10 years ago. You must be twenty-something now..." He said with a straight face, "Umm, I'm 28". I was like WHOA! Wit my old ass.

All of that being said, I still eyed him up and the first thought that popped into my head was, "He look good but he don't look good enough to cheat on my husband." I guess I had gotten all of my playa-playa, cradle robbin out in the 90's. And that is a good thing...

I know for certain that I only have two types of ex's:

The ones who will be like, "Oh, hey - you still look good" or "Man, you was my baby back in dem days"

or

The ones who will be like, "Fuck her, I hate her ass" or "That bitch is..."

There is no middle ground when it comes to the ex's. I'm prepared for anything. Gettin crazy dap or a psycho runnin up to me on the Metro like, "Bitch, you broke my heart twenty years ago..."

I'd like to think that the men I left behind don't hold any animosty or hard feelings...but I'd just be lying to myself. And whats the point of that? If I'm real honest with myself, I'd say that the ex's are split an even 50/50 for those that love/hate me all these years later. At least I'd like to think they are. I could be surprised. But NOTHING! Nothing could be a bigger surprise than the boost my ego got from a 28 year old that remembered his crush back in the day.

Awwwww...

2007-05-16T14:12:00.000-04:00

"How many caskets can we witness before we see it's hard to live this life without God, so we must ask forgiveness?" - Tupac Shakur

Everyone in the area knows that when the temperature rises in this vicinity, so does the body count. Its a sad reality to face. Yet another truth about living and being in this area is that most folks can't own nice shit without being jacked for it. There is an entire population of young, dumb, jealous haters out here.

I bring this up because I have a major sunglass fetish. They don't always have to be expensive or brand name, but who am I fooling? I usually buy a nice pair every spring and rock the hell out of them all season. Now, as I walk around downtown, I done caught some of these spring chickens eyeing my shades. Bump the iPod stealing delinquents on the train, supposedly "grown" folks giving me the "Oh, no she don't" look. I know the look and I know it well.

I will give you the reason why I ain't worried about being jacked. One, to take my sunglasses you are going to have to physically remove them from my face. Should you be able to accomplish that - hell, you can have 'em. But I'mma be real - Its NOT going to happen, so why stress over the what if's?

Folks, I've been robbed before. At gunpoint. On Montana Avenue. In the late 80's. I've been robbed on Naylor Road. At the gas station. At 12am. For my leather jacket and gold earrings.

Would it surprise me if one of these crack babies were to try a fast one and "take" my shit. No. But I do believe it would be a shock to THEM if I commenced to whuppin they ass in front of a cheering crowd on the Metro. So I send this out to all ya'll haters that are lookin at me extra hard this spring: STOP lookin at me and eyeing my shit.

Whew. Feel better that's off my chest. Now for the randomness:

Ursher is engaged to someone considerably older then he is. Got no problem with the age difference. Do however take issue with the fact that the woman you are marrying left her husband and three children to be with you. She'll make a great wife and mother. Oh, wait...she already is...GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!

Akon is in trouble for simulating sex at a concert with a 14 year old preacher's daughter. I seen the pictures. This chick was having the time of her life. A few things to point out here: Youngin had on a shirt that was split down to her navel and bared her belly ring, among other things. She also had a tattoo on her lower back. Ummm...where was the preacher and his, uh, wife? They want to sue the singer but do they know they're own child and what in the hell she been up to? Cuz she damn sure wasn't behaving like a 14 year old...

Paris Hilton is going to jail for 45 days. Cue the "awwwww" track. Sympathy over.

Bobby Brown is suing his now ex-wife for spousal support. LOL. Bobby done smoked up the money from "Being Bobby Brown" already. Wow. He better get him a Vegas stage show or something.

Welcome to Hollyhood...Three Six Mafia's MTV reality show. These folks are funny as hell. Peppered with lil country slang like, "Ya'll look like two bugs in a jar" and a big man named Computer, who of course, knows shit about computers...this show is entertaining. At least to me.

I know I had more to say, but damn....can't remember what it was now. Ah, well, til next time.

2007-05-09T14:10:00.000-04:00

Not much time to chat today...

Folks, I am a busy woman! Family, business, regular job, friends and an occasional good time are all I can cram into my life at the moment. Let me catch you up on the latest...

Was invited to a party for Russell Simmons while he was in DC and got to breathe the same air as he. LOL.

Friday went to a bowling party for Mya with a few of co-workers...had an excellent time & also beat my hubby's co-workers and almost his boss...

Saturday, headed up to Philly with my girl Tiff to see one of her favorite singers right now, Amy Winehouse. The girl can sang! She's this tiny little thing with an extra large bouffant hairdo that just belts 'em out. Had an awesome time hanging out in Phil. and gabbing with a good friend I see far too little of.

Sunday was back to work with the baskets...and prepping for Mother's Day...

I've got a pretty good life ya'll!

Uh, wait...a...damn...minute...phone ringing!!!

Ya'll never guess who the hell that was? RDB...just been released from detox/jail TODAY. Hmmmm....says that this is his chance to be on the straight and narrow. Says he been doing thinking. Says this time is different.

"Heard it all before" like Sunshine Anderson.

Now, not to slam a brotha when he down but me and him, RDB, we've got an 8 year old child. We dated for 2 years before we had her. You do the math. I've been fed that "shit done changed" line like, a million fuckin times. So pardon my disbelief that some minor time in the DC Jail done did the man some good.

Pretty harsh, right? Well, for this chick here seeing is believing. So pay up on my child support and then you might make me a believer!

2007-04-25T16:26:00.000-04:00

See what happens when you think...

I must say that I was dreading the worst from the Women's Retreat! But everything was really good. I can highly recommend the jojoba moisturizing wrap...its magnificent! Everything turned out well and I am pleased to report that first and foremost on the minds of my fellow retreaters was R-E-L-A-X-A-T-I-O-N! So it was all good.

The new biz is going well. I am keeping busy with custom gift baskets. Working on getting the store up and running. Meeting with potential vendors. Its all very exciting and exhausting! But I can't complain, its what I love to do! I believe great things are in store for my little biz! LOL.

Remember that odd ball conversation with RDB a few posts ago? Well, found out where he's at...detox/jail. Sad, but true. What is it that makes a 33 year old man think he can hustle for the rest of his life? At some point, don't you want more for yourself? For your kids? I gave it a lot of thought and you know, it saddens me more than it makes me mad. I BEEN OVER being mad at him truthfully. I guess thats part of the "give it up turn it loose" theory.

Anyways, had to explain to the child where he was...and it lead us to the topic of LIFE. And as if on cue, I asked her what life was all about and she said (correctly, I might add) that life was about choices. She so wisely said that her Dad had not made good choices and that was why he had to go to a facility to get help for his problems. I concurred and said that she was exactly right!

Then she said, "Daddy's a good person." And I said, "Are you asking me or are you telling me?" And without hesitation she said, "I'm TELLING you." I thought for a split second and said, "Yeah. He likes to argue a lot but underneath it all he IS a good person." She smiled and seemed pleased at the revelation.

While I certainly have NO LOVE for him personally, I thought to myself, "How much damage could I do to my child if I had belittled her Dad to her face? Chided him for being stupid and immature?" I remember seeing kids who had been traumatized by the bitterness of their parent's divorce and I certainly did not want that for my littlest one. So if I had to suck it up just this once, I would do it. But please...don't ask me to do it again any time soon.

Until next time!

2007-04-09T15:28:00.000-04:00

Let the DRAMA begin!

Just who in the hell do I think I am? Trying to leave the state of Maryland with 11 other grown ass women and all the while thinking no drama was going to break out. A fool I am, I say. A fool.
We haven't gone anywhere and the attitudes are already flaring.

To be clear - yes, I am referencing the upcoming (ahem, this weekend's) retreat. Its really over some BS but hey...I'm of the belief that folks are entitled to their opinion.

I won't get into it too much since I'd have to be so vague. That kinda makes the explanation a little pointless. The short version of it is this, basically - not everyone on this little "get-a-way" is friends. I mean, they're not mortal enemies or anything but you know how it can be. Or maybe you're a man and you don't know.

And lucky for you! I am here to give my two cents:

Most often, the bond that holds a group of women together is really just hair extension glue. On the outside, it looks nice. But get to the roots and underneath it all is a sticky and sloppy damn mess.

Since having this ephiphany - I have evaluated my relationships - with men and women. Let me tell ya, its a lot of folks that ain't make the cut.

Take for instance the chick that wanted to cry on my hubbys shoulder about her baby daddy. Everything was cool until she started ringing my hubbys cell phone at 11pm. Being an adult, I told him that he should have her call the house. The chick stopped calling! To me, it was a sure sign that she had other intentions.

Or how about the former best friend that got mad when my wedding plans went awry and I ended up getting married a month earlier than originally planned? The chick called me in California to tell me that "she wished she could be happy for me, but she's just so mad". Oh, I don't care how many years we've known each other - you can't be happy for me? You need to go on ahead then...

Now, don't get me wrong, its not always the girl/girl friendships. I've had falling outs with the men friends too. But as we all know men are a COMPLETELY different species and deal with things in a whole 'nother way. My example for that is: I once got sold out by a male friend, someone who was like a brother to me, for a few hundred bucks. People driven by money will do damn near anything. Thats a different post altogether though.

I imagine this weekend will be an eye opener of sorts. I can't see how it won't. But let me get back to you on that one next week.

ALL PRAYERS ACCEPTED!

2007-04-05T14:35:00.000-04:00

First of all -

Can someone please provide me a scientific reason why it was 70+ degrees outside just 3 days ago and today I had to break out my Eddie Bauer bear coat again? This don't make no damn sense. I know, I know..."an inconvienient truth", right?!

Remember the women's retreat I told yall about a couple of posts ago? Well, thats coming up soon...next week in fact. I am really excited. Maybe because I think I am all too deserving of a spa weekend or maybe I am just happy to be getting away for a few days...not sure.

Interesting story of the week:

My oldest child (step-daughter) is 13 years old. She called my cell phone on Tuesday and asked if we could go shopping. When asked why, she said she didn't have to wear a uniform Wednesday b/c they were taking personality pictures. In case your not from this area, personality pictures are just casual photos taken with friends (or by yourself). I took them when I was in high school, my brother took them, almost everyone I know took them. At any rate, I told her that I would call her Daddy (hubby) and see if he could pick her up since I don't get home until about 7 pm. He said yes. Then oldest child calls me back to see if her cousin could come with us. Told her yes, but to be clear that I wasn't buying her (cousin) an outfit too. That was cool. So off we go to the mall down the street. I give her $40 and tell her to take her cousin and her little sister (the youngest) with her while I ran into a few stores. She ends up doing well with the $40 - she got a jeans skirt and two pair of those leggings these kids are wearing now. Still in need of a shirt and shoes...ends up getting deals on BOTH. First we go into Rack Room where she wants a pair of...VANS. Vans! I exclaim. Well, hell, if I'd of known they be back in style, I would of kept me a pair from 20 years ago! Anyway - the shoes are buy one pair get a 2nd pair half off so I just looked at her and said, "Go get another pair". She looked at me like it was Christmas. "Okay" and the back of her head was all I saw. Then we knocked out the shirts with a 2 for $20 deal and she was done. Success!

The interesting part of this story is that no sooner had I walked through the front door of my home, did the phone ring with the middle child (also step daughter) on the line. She said, "Uh, are you going to take me shopping too next time?" THE QUESTION REEKED OF HUBBY's BABY MOMMA. It seemed to me that she had put her up to calling and asking. I had been told by her sister that the reason she didn't come was b/c she had soccer practice. But! I also reiterated to child that if she needed a special outfit or anything at all, she could just call her daddy and me and we would work it out. She was fine with that.

There are two things here in this situation that I'd like to address:

First is, this child (the middle child) is not at all interested in keeping up with the stuff that her sister has. She's not petty nor materialistic in that way. Thats how I deduce she was probably coerced into the phone call by her triflin momma. Can't you just hear *sucking teeth*, "Why she ain't buy YOU anything?!"

Second is, the relationship between me and hubbys baby momma is actually quite civilized. We have never argued. We don't beef. We attend the children's functions and get along ok. This is not to say we are friends. We aren't. But we both focus on the kids and it works for us. But for the 6 years I have known my husband, I can honestly say that his baby moms doesn't know what to do with herself or her money. She keeps getting put out of crap-ass apartments. She spends her tax refund money on a bedroom set for...herself. She receives child support and she still can't buy a $0.69 poster board for her childs school projects? For a while, I figured she had some secret crack habit. For all I know she spends it on her girlfriends (cuz thats what shes into now) and Mystic tickets. Who knows?

I was pissed about it for a while b/c it was just so TYPICAL but then I thought, "Be happy. At least your kids know who to call when they really need something."

2007-03-28T13:06:00.000-04:00

Lots on my mind right now. Lots.

My website went up this week: www.sweetangeloccasions.com. I equated it to the feeling I had when my daughter was born. What can I say? It was a labor of love. So anyways, I am excited to have that up and running. I still have to get the store complete but custom gift baskets...hit me up!

I am pleased with the success that my little basket biz is generating on the strength of word-of-mouth advertising. It makes me think that I might not have to devote a lot of resources (ie. $$$) to a huge marketing campaign. Plus, I can't do it big until I woo my girl Avin away from her current 9-5 to be my Marketing Director. It might not been soon but its a comin!

So, last Thursday hubby and one of his record labels hosted a listening party for REDMAN. It was the most fun I have had at one of those things in a long time. I go to a lot of these and sometimes its just drink, sit and listen. But this was Redman, so you know it was going to be off the hook. The air was a little thick with the sweet smell of Mary Jane and not only did Reggie Noble show up, but he jumped into the DJ booth and started playing cuts from his new album AND some old school bangers. Be honest...when was the last time you heard BIGGIEs GIMME THE LOOT in the club! Exactly! And to his credit - I've already got a favorite single from Reds new album. Its called Pimp Nuts. LOL. The beat is infectious on that joint. And like I say to everyone who asked me how the party was, "I sure don't know what Pimp Nuts are...but that song is bangin'!" Yeah, I know, I sound like someones Grandma! Apparently, its a reference to his movie, How High. Saw the movie. Don't remember what Pimp Nuts are...

This week is a listening party for Fabolous. Ever time I hear or say his name I wanna bust out with "BREATHE!" or "FA-BO-LO-US". I know, its juvenile but so is going to this party to see if his diamond earrings are really as big as his head. Nah, let's just see if I have as much fun as last week.

Now that the weather is starting to warm up, we can expect a lot the women of the Metro area to lose they damn minds, fashion wise. At work, they just don't know how to keep it professional. I work in a building where the biggest tenant is a law firm and hot damn if some of these folks stoll up in here like its the Classics, the Eastside, the Utopia, the IBEX or the Mirage. And if we talking about the younger set and their sense of (?) fashion...well, hell, you never know what you could end up with. Something too tight, too low cut or just flat out ill advised. And since we are on the subject, why do 40 year old women do trendy clothes? Whats that about? I have probably posed that question before...but, c'mon ya'll...

Until next time..

2007-03-21T13:53:00.000-04:00

Whew, people, I am tired.

I haven't had much time to spend blogging, venting or otherwise gabbing about my recent exploits. But today is Wednesday and I have an hour or two where I am relatively free to do whatever (at work, nontheless).

The business is going well. Or should I say the business of starting my business is going well. Yeah, thats it. It seems like its a never ending process. Lawyers, websites, contracts, laws, resale certificates, and the list goes on. I was a little overwhelmed but I think I've got a handle on things now.

By the way, I celebrated my one year anniversary at my real 8 to 5 job...which happens to be the BEST year of my professional career, evah! Yeah, its exciting. In my eyes, I have a dream job. The work is challenging and ever changing, with plenty of downtime (yes, I end up doing gift basket stuff) and people that don't treat you like shit. I even got an anniversary gift! I told the folks around here that I was here for the long run (which I feel I am) or until my baskets EXPLODE and "I absolutely MUST leave". That or I win the lottery, which has always been a dream of mine. LOL.

No secret that I'm a gambling chick. Craps is my game but I play some cards too. And slots. LOVE the slots - it must be something about the soothing *ching-a-ling* noise. Anyways, I play the lottery but usually the multi-state games with the ridicious jackpot that only people in Iowa and Ohio seem to win. But me and hubby love the idea of winning a shit load of money. Who doesn't? But this weekend we were watching "Lottery Diaries" on some cable network. Let me tell you - PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!!!! This one guy won $300+ million dollars. And while he was pretty smart with the money (he invested like, $10M, in very conservative stocks), he also settled with his now ex-wife for a cool $5M dollars. You know how much RDB could get from me if I hit the lottery? Bupkiss. Zilch. A swift kick in the ass and a "have a nice life, bitch" is what he got coming. $5M!!!! To a woman who was already in the process of divorcing your ass?! Who-wee. I'm bettin she felt like SHE had won the lottery. But maybe old dude just said to himself, "this is the price I'll pay to get her outta my life for good."

Also featured on Lottery Diaries was two best friends who worked together, play in the bowling league together, live together and, you betcha, played the numbers together. They hit for less than the other guy but they still ended up with like $30M a piece. Not bad. When all is said and done, these fools buy a new house...together(!)...and have matching glass fireplaces and a bathtub that takes 45 minutes to fill up. Oh, and a Howdy Doody collection in a curio cabinet. I damn near fell off the side of my king size bed laughing about that one.

If they ever do a Lottery Diaries on me (which they wouldn't since I would choose to be one of those anonymous winners), it would be off the hook. I'll have to dream up that one for the next post.

Until then...

2007-03-12T08:35:00.000-04:00

Quite frankly, folks, I'm sick and tired of the bullshit and its not even 9 am!

I started my Monday morning when it was still dark because of this daylight savings...

I got onto Metro only to be off loaded at Eastern Market and then had to take a cab the rest of the way to work...

It's too much for a muthafuckin Monday morning!

Anyways, I had two very good girlfriends celebrate birthdays on Friday and I sent them a little spa gift. They both loved them and the one friend who I haven't seen in years said my card almost brought her to tears. Friendship is a special thing, I tell you. When you have the power to move people just by being you...its a great feeling.

All of this is leading me up to a shameless plug for my gift basket business.

I've always been an artsy-craftsy type gal. I just love a hot glue gun and knick-knacks and shit. What can I say? It suits my personality. So the gift basket dream was born from that, I suppose.
It wasn't until a few years ago, that I honestly realized I could make this my dream job. It was like the perfect combination of shopping and giving that really did it for me. So, I did baskets here and there for family and friends. But real life sets in and the baskets weren't making much of an impact on the bottom line, so it couldn't be full time. But I knew it was what I loved doing, so the dream remained.

Fast forward to about 18 months ago...With the love and support and encouragement of family and friends, I started to REALLY realize that I could do my baskets and work my 8 to 5. And so I embarked on this journey. Its been tough. I secured the website I wanted and was ready to start work on that when Kim died. So I pushed it to the back burner. When I was back up to it, I started up again - they way I knew Kim would have wanted it - and forged on.

Everyday is different. Some days I am really motivated and work on basket stuff til I'm knocked out. Other days I won't go near a mall or a basket. I know for sure that I am not one of these people that will stay up til 3 in the morning working on something and then turn around and have to go to my real job at 6 am. I like to think that I'm a better planner than that.

So once I have the website up and operational, I'll be doing more self-promotion here and on the myspace page that I have that I never really maintain. LOL. Who knows maybe I'll raffle off a basket or two if business keeps going well.

"What am I, alone in this world?" - Robert DeNiro as Al Capone in "The Untouchables"

2007-02-26T15:32:00.000-05:00

Using lies as alibis...

Ya'll remember that old EnVogue song, Lies, right? Well, this week I stumbled upon two instances of chicks lying their asses off! Whats up with that?!

Chicken #1 says that shes going to All Star Weeked b/c she loves sports and can't wait to see the AS game on Sunday night. She says that she was leaving Friday night and would be back at work on Monday morning.

Hmmm...I've got issue with that. The AS game doesn't even start til like 4pm. and I've done red-eye JetBlue flights from Vegas/Long Beach to Dulles and let me tell you...thats a tough one on the return trip. Factor in partying like an "All Star" and call me crazy, but be damned if your ass is showing up to work on Monday a.m. bright eyed and bushy-tailed, much less sober. So for me, that one statement raised a red flag. It just didn't even seem plausible.

Then, when she told me that she was going, I was like, "Oh, you should go to Mr. Lucky's at the Hard Rock, its open 24/7, the food is the bomb!" This is something that someone whose actually been to Vegas would know. But I digress. My hubby tells me that his labels artists took over the MGM Grand from Thursday on...something I relay to her. She doesn't ask to get her name on the list, she doesn't ask whose performing...nothing. She seems not too interested in meeting celebrities or artists - which perplexes me even more since she comes off as the gold digger type. That raises red flag number 2.

Breakdown: Chicken #1 shows up to work promptly at 8:00 without a trace of jetlag or alcohol on her person. Come to find out she didn't go to Vegas because, "the girl that was supposed to pick her up didn't come and get her". Thats one of the worst lies I think I've ever heard. Me and my friend plan a trip to Las Vegas for ASW...we pony up money for hotel and airfare...and then my friend doesn't come to pick me up for the airport? Yeah, you know me...I'm commencing to whuppin that ass! No seriously, I'm taking a cab to Dulles or calling SOMEONE to drop my ass on the toll road...something.

Chicken #2 comes to a work function and proceeds to tell everyone that will listen how she went to ASW and that her brother is a friend of <> rapper. Said "her brother" got her into all the parties for free and proceeds to just start braggin...

Breakdown: What Chicken #2 did not know is that one of her co-workers husbands actually DID go to Vegas for ASW and that all the parties she bragged about, get this...were free to ALL ladies before 11 pm! And that folks were passing out tickets on the strip to ANYONE, like they always do.

Oh - and we can find out if her so called "brother" works for <> rapper. Said rapper is on my husbands label. LOL. Who wants to bet thats a lie too??

And while on the subject of truth, let me give you the rundown on the latest RDB drama.

RDB says that he wants his daughter to come over and see him this weekend. That daughter should call RDB. So Friday evening, child asks to call him. I told her that she had stuff to do this weekend and that she probably wouldn't be able to go. He say, "Put your mother on the phone" and she hands it to me. Here's what I get:

RDB: "I need you to let her come over here this weekend."
Me: "Not going to happen this weekend. Maybe another weekend in March."
RDB: "That's not going to work for me...I...gotta go...I gotta go away."
Me: "What in the hell are you talking about now?"
RDB: "Tomorrows the only day I can see her...I'm going away...for a long time...and I want to see her. Can you do that for me?"
Me: "Ummm...sorry. Handle your business and holla when you come back."

What in the hell? Why not just come out and say, "I'm bout to get locked up and be gone for 5 - 10 years?" Why all the mystery? And then I figured it out. This fool wants to make me look like the bad guy.

So when child asks where her damn daddy is, the only thing I can offer her is, "Well, all he told me was that he was going way for a long time". Not me jack. I ain't been lying to my child about her biological father and I'm not fittin to start now.

"...just the devil in disguise"

2007-02-23T13:56:00.000-05:00

Well folks...its been a rather odd and interesting two weeks since my last post!

Where on earth to begin?

The ice storm displaced me from my home for three days. I ended up crashing with my brother, my sister in law and my nieces and nephew. I tell you - its been a long time since I've slept on a twin bed, thats for sure! At any rate, I was glad to be there as opposed to a hotel. Wasn't surprised in the least bit to hear that Metro buses were wiping out pedestrians at an alarming rate...have you ever had a personal experience with some of the loons that are employed by Metro? Ha! I ride into work on a train whose operator does her damndest Jessica Rabbit-come-hither-and-fuck-me-at-7am-voice. Every. Morning. I've got plenty more examples, but if you're in the area, I'm sure you've got your very own Metro stories.

Anna Nicole Smith. Simply put, I think old gal died of a drug overdose and a broken heart over the loss of her son. The fiasco that has insued since her passing is shameful. From the ex-boyfriends, to the lawyers, right on down to the judge...

Celebs Gone Wild! Britney, Britney, Britney...anyone that feels sorry for this chick is a moron. She publicly said she wanted to be married and be a young Mom. She gets her wish...and when it all goes to hell...she takes up partying with Paris Hilton?! Next thing you know, she's shaving her head and getting wierd tattoos. These are not things that sober people do. These are things that people on cocaine or Oxycontin or whatever it is they partake in, do. Go to rehab and sit your ass down! Get your life together.

All Star Weekend in Las Vegas. Off the top - I love Vegas more than anyone on this planet. I'm a gambler so its like mecca to me. With that said, I think David Stern and the NBA made one foolish move hosting All Star Weekend there last week. First - Vegas doesn't even have a pro basketball team. Does that make any damn sense? Second, in a city whose travel motto is "What happens in Vegas...stays in Vegas"...it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this is a diaster waiting to happen. Why do football players show up at strip clubs with a trashbag full of one's? To incite a riot, fools! Did you seriously think that he was going to lounge on a sofa and tuck them into garter belts all night? Hell nah! I think the columnist Jason Whitlock said it best when he said, "All-Star Weekend can no longer remain the Woodstock for parolees, wannabe rap artists and baby's mamas on tax-refund vacations." Yeah, lots of folks are taking issue with that one comment. I, myself, find it funny and true to a degree. There is one thing in his article that I did take exception to: Freaknik ended in 1999? To us old heads...Freaknik started its decline waaaay before then. LOL.

And while I'm on the subject lets put this out there:

Let's not put the blame on the NBA being thugged out soley on the shoulders of AI. Because whether you choose to admit it or not, there was hoodlums long before he touched down.

All Star weekend will continue to decline until a commisioner says enough is enough. Because as long as you have celebrities, athletes and anyone else with money in one place, your going to attract two things: groupies and stick-up boys. And they both have the same mission: to get in them pockets. You don't have to be from DC to know that either.

What else do I want to talk about right now?

OH! Finally got a myspace page...out of sheer boredom though. I got a whopping 3 "friends"...and thats including the guy that comes with the sign-up!

I'm sure there was more I wanted to say since it's been so long...but I've got other things to do. Next time it won't be so long.

2007-02-09T08:24:00.000-05:00

Like "Sex in the City" but not quite...

If you've been keeping up, you will recall me saying that I don't really have large group of female friends. And to me, I don't. I just can't deal with the drama of it all. And with females there is always drama. But back in the day before I came into my own, I DID have lots of female friends and some of them (rather, very few of them) I still hang out with every now and then. Its a complicated dynamic...me and my female friends.

All of this is leading me to say that I was invited to a Women's Retreat Weekend in April and I am so excited. I'm going with a bunch of girls that I've known since middle school and college. I've never been on a women's only retreat and I'm thinking it's just what I need. A weekend of spa treatments, manicures, pedicures, boat trips and relaxation are in order, ya'll. No kids. No men.

Quite honestly, I never wanted to go on a whole weekend retreat with just women. But marriage and motherhood have definitely changed that. I guess it helps when the women your going with are friends you've known a long time, the ones that were down for beating some ghetto broads ass at the Eastside, the ones that passed out with you on the front steps of your dorm. Ah, the good old times. Maybe I'll crack out the old camcorder tapes and bring them for a good old laugh.

Anyways - the invite has revitalized me and has given me something to feel great about. Something that has been missing since Kim passed away - not sure if it was comradarie or what...but whatever it is, it sure feels good.

2007-01-30T15:59:00.000-05:00

Okay, so my girl Avin tagged me with this request...here it goes:

5 Things You Never Knew About Me:

1) I went through a "Thugstress" phase...and it lasted almost 10 years. I call it my "thugstress" years because that is exactly what I was: a thug princess. I was an upper middle class suburban girl that got down with some extra grimey gutter dudes in my day. Dope dealers, wanna be gangstas, kingpins, murderers - you name it. Little girls that read this: don't be misled by the glam sounding title. I've buried too many friends (including 2 ex boyfriends) and got one ex serving LWOP. It's NOT glam and its not cool. It also evokes one of my infamous truths: If someone loves the streets more than they love you - they WILL break your heart.

2) The only monogamous relationship I've ever been in is my marriage. True. At one point or another, I cheated on every single one of my boyfriends, including my daughters father. Before you start passing judgement, let me inform you that most of them cheated on me too (like that makes it okay) and as far as RDB goes, well, he never cheated on me...just cooked up crack in my kitchen using my baby's glass Gerber jars.

3) When I know or feel like someone is being insincere with me...I'll tell them the most outlandish blatant lie. I once saw my 10th grade boyfriends sister on the street and she was so phoney with me, it made me sick. So when she asked how I was, I told her that I was married and that I had four children!! At that time, I was 22 years old, not married, and did not have ANY children. Later, her brother found me on the internet and was like, "so, how many baby father's you got?". I gave myself a headache laughing so hard.

4) Most chicks that don't know me, don't like me. WOW! Typing it makes it feel like some kind of major discovery! LOL. But its true and I'm not even sure why. Ask me if I care...OKAY OKAY...I must admit...I DON'T!

5) I am a deeply spiritual person. I'm not going to claim to be a Bible-thumpin, holy rollin, better than thou hypocrite...cuz frankly, I'm not a very religious chapter and verse kinda person, even though I was raised Catholic. But I am very spiritual. I believe in a Higher Power and that I am here, ultimately, to do His work. I believe that things happen for a reason and unfair as it may seem, sometimes it is not for us to know those reasons.

And there it is...5 things you never knew!

2007-01-24T13:29:00.000-05:00

Hate it or love it.

That's pretty much the way I feel about everything and everyone now-a-days. I guess at 33, if it suits me, fine. If not, I'm out. Funny how it took this long to come to THAT conclusion.

For instance: Love the fact that my job is perfect for me. Challenging stuff with plenty of down time for me to pursue other things in my life. Hate that most of my friends despise their own jobs (for whatever reason).

Hate the young bucks on the Metro who terrorize the commuters with their foul language, despicable grooming and overall lack of home training. Especially hate large groups of teenagers, no matter what color or ethnicity they are!

Love that its finally acting like winter. Hate that my car will probably die a long and painful death by the time Puxatawny (sp) Phil sees his shadow. Hell, maybe before then.

Love that my youngest child is quite the scene stealing ham and that someone once told me, "Do you ever look at her and think, 'Yeah - I've got a future Halle Berry right here?'" Hate that she will probably want to be in the entertainment biz and be subjected to all the scrutiny and rejection that comes with it.

Hate that racism is alive and well in the United States of America, as evidenced by the government reaction to Hurricane Katrina. And the lady that gave me the very rude "you wait your turn" finger while going through the revolving doors at the Plaza in NYC. Talkin about hott! I was way beyond pissed!

Love that fact that I am married to an honestly decent man with a conscious and moral values. Sounds kinda corny but if you'd of seen some of the toads I kissed to get where I'm at...well...you'd be proud too (of your man AND of yourself).

Hate the fact that every once in a while my past comes back to bite me in the ass. No, I'm not some witness protection transplant or anything like that...but when I run into someone that says "Oh! I know you! Aren't you..."it just makes me cringe! The size 6, naive and somewhat innocent person I was at 16 is most definitely not the same woman who stands (or blogs, depending on how you want to look at it) before you today. So stop looking at me and whispering, "Dang - she done let herself go!" I have evolved and apparently, you have not.

2007-01-10T13:31:00.000-05:00

What to rant about today? Hmmmmm...

Got some bad news about a cousin...don't feel up to discussing that though. Maybe later.

I'm still addicted to The Wire and watched every episode from the first three seasons since Christmas. Got hubby hooked too.

Youngest child is doing better. She's not stealing or lying at the moment. Bringing her homework home most days, too. I'm thinking Grandma bribed her in some fashion.

Middle and oldest children are doing well considering their mother acts like a crackhead, is broke and gots no car or place to live. She is the female equivalent of RDB.

Hubby is ok. I've come to accept the nasty whores on MySpace and the freaks that are getting off to his voice on his radio show.

The other night I tuned into "I Love New York" until the first commerical break. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt but couldn't take it any more. I've convinced myself that a third of the men on there are playing for the "other" team. Its okay! So stop licking the stamps on your hate mail.

Anyone know of someone willing to invest $50,000 into a gift basket venture? Gimme a holla. Capital is the only thing standing in my way of breaking out!!

Why does it seem I can't be professionally and personally satisfied at the same time? Quite odd since one has nothing to do with the other....Last year, I hated my job and loved my home life. Now, my home life is ho-hum and my new job is sensational. Maybe I'm just carrying on since I haven't had sex this year. I married...what more do you want me to say?

2007-01-03T13:52:00.000-05:00

Well, where the hell did the last year go?!

I am pleased to report that Christmas was a major success! My three girls did very well between the presents, cash and gift cards they received. Hubby and I didn't do too bad either! A great time was had by all.

So, I worked two days last week: Wednesday from 9am - 2pm and Thursday from 11am to 4:30pm. Needless to say, it was a highly unproductive week but I didn't mind coming in for a few hours...I actually had year end stuff that needed to be done.

Thursday evening I took my youngest daugther, my niece and my sister to see High School Musical at Verizon Center. The plan was to get plastered before going in but don't you know we were running late and that those tiny bottles of White Zen are $7.00 a piece?! I would of had to commit to a dozen mini bottles to get anywhere near a buzz. So why bother?

First, if you don't know about High School Musical or any other Disney Channel production, you either don't have nary child in your entire family or you've been hiding under a rock. No, really...when it comes to consumer dollars, no one promotes and markets to the under 16 demographic better than Disney Channel. This is the reason every single one of their child stars gets their own show or music video or something...Also the reason The Cheetah Girls sold more records than other popular, more talented acts a few years ago. Don't fake on the power of the tween dollar...they pay a lot of these big execs salaries!

Anyways, back to the show. It wasn't as bad as one might think. Granted, I would not have chosen to spend a Thursday night with 10,000 children three days after Christmas but hey...you do it for the kids. This just so happened to be my 7 year olds very first concert. She was tickled pink the entire time. We had awesome seats on the floor, seven rows from the front of the stage. On the way home she turns to me and says, "Mommy...that was my first and best show EVAH!!!!". It really was a beautiful moment.

Now my thirteen year old, she's been going to concerts for years. Daddy gave her tickets to see Bow Wow on Friday and also the show on Sunday night. She's at the age where you put on the flyy outfit and try to be seen by all your friends at school. Back in my day, it was Go-Go Live, Madness hats and Run Joe. Now its Scream Tour, apple bottoms and Omarion. Go figure.

I found the real reason for the season on that Friday after the HSM show. I had told my three girls that I would take them shopping so they could spend their gift cards. So we headed up to Annapolis Mall and I laid down the shopping rules, gave them all limits and off we went. Boy, when I say we shopped til we (almost) dropped...I mean it! Oldest child got fuzzy boots and matching top for Bow Wow show that night. Middle child got a Spongebob Monopoly game that she's been wanting (who knew?) and youngest got a book(!) and a baby doll. I got a top and paid for lunch. So where you ask, is the joy in THAT?! Well, quite honestly the joy to me, was in the fact that I COULD afford to take my girls on a shopping spree and that we spent a good couple of hours just hanging out together. And we didn't go over budget! I just felt very blessed to be in that position.

If 2006 taught me anything, it was to expect the unexpected! I honestly only have a few goals for 2007. 1) I'd like to get my gift basket website up and running. 2) I'd like to lose a few pounds...like 65, ideally. 3) I'd like to spend more time with family and friends. 4) I'd like to host a Haunted Halloween Party at our house in October. That's it. Doesn't sound too hard does it? HA! Throw in the family reunion cruise, 3 childrens birthday parties and a 5th wedding anniversary and I'm broke by the *what?!* 3rd of JANUARY!

2006-12-21T15:28:00.000-05:00

What a difference a year makes!

I'm going to be real honest with ya'll...this has been one crazy ass year for me! This time last year, I was in employment HELL! My company sold out to the highest bidder, my job was leading nowhere, the chick in the cubicle next to me was so ghetto-fab, she had a go-go flick on her desk in the original Mr. G frame, spouses and children weren’t invited to the holiday “party” and to top it all off, we were expected to go a whopping 3 ½ weeks between paychecks…at Christmas time. It was a disaster and the new year was not looking pretty. Still I maintained.

Well, don't you know as soon as the calendar flipped to 2006, the sell outs at my company flipped their lids too? Yes, the partners all got checks with two commas in them...the administrative staff (ie. the people that make your shit look good and do all the damn work!)...got a kick in the ass and was told to move the hell over for the "old" employees. And lets not get started on the raggedy bunch that they were!

By February, gals were coming to work physically sick, waking up each morning in tears cuz they had to come into the shit hole work had become. We needed...prayer! We'd call the assistants together and huddle in the mail room begging and pleading for some divine intervention!! This is not a joke, it was serious stress in that joint!

By the first Tuesday in March, one of my closest friends at work, quit on the spot. She called her boyfriend to pick her up, flew past my desk murmuring "fuck this, fuck that" and stormed out, mad as hell. When I finally figured out what was going on (about the time she was stuffing the dozen or so pair of shoes from under her desk in a bag), it was a wrap, folks. Two days later, I pulled nearly the same stunt after being offered and accepting my current position. 'Tis life...lets keep it movin'!

Two weeks later, I started at my new company. I am pleased to report that I am respected, appreciated and mind you, compensated, for being...ME! The same me with the same skills. I gots no chickenheads running around not knowing they ass from they elbow. Only grown folks need apply for this company. I had been with the company for maybe a month, when I got flowers and a gift card for Admin's day. The old company, we got a catered lunch and a speech from the President. Gee, thanks. This year, my husband and daughter were invited to a very elegant, yet informal holiday party that was the most fun I had had at an office party in a really long time. And instead of getting a hard time about taking a few days off between Christmas and New Years, you know what my company gave me? A nice box of Godiva chocolates, a Starbucks gift card and a Macy's gift card with respectable value. Thanks! I went to Metro Center today at lunch and finally picked up my much needed boots...in brown AND black. Now thats what I call progress!

By the end of the summer, ALL (not some but ALL) of the assistants had left. Most stayed in the industry. Some ventured out in new directions. Talk to the gals now and its a whole new game. Folks are happy! Hell, we even created a newsletter to keep up with all the co-workers that flew the coop.

In the end, its not always about title, pay and who gets the glory. Sometimes its about knowing your own worth. Most of the time, though, its about peace of mind. I celebrate finding mine!

2006-12-18T13:34:00.000-05:00

Me child. Done. Lost. Her. Got-damned. Seven Year Old. Mind.

I have maintained for quite a while now that my youngest child is severely handicapped by her paternal genes. Case and point - while having her cousin over this weekend, she strolls into our bedroom and helps herself to one of two $20 dollar bills on my husbands bedside table. And then proceeds to hide it in her shoe. Then, when we check her allowance folder, we discover that she has helped herself to $20 of that money too.

Not only is the child stealing from US, she's stealing from herself!

So, no more allowance. Any cash and gift cards that she gets for Christmas will be garnished. And the all important ass whuppin has been properly dooled out.

But I sit here picking my brain about why she did it? When asked, she says, "I don't have a reason for taking it, I just did." Thats when I threatened to break her little fingers if she took something that didn't belong to her again.

Please don't comment on how that is promoting child abuse and blah, blah, blah. All of her bones are intact, so chill the hell out.

Am I making too much of it? Being too harsh? Hmmmm...I don't think so.

2006-12-12T14:47:00.000-05:00

Blogging has become my therapy!

I've had this blog for a little over a month now and its become quite therapeutic for me. Maybe its got something to do with typing and thinking off the top of my head. Whatever it is, I enjoy doing it and honestly, I know for sure that there's at least one other person reading it too. And thats cool with me. I just like putting thought to paper.

Last week me and hubby had a HUGE MAJOR blowout arguement. Didn't speak for 3 days and then made up, which is the norm. The only thing I will say about it is this: disagreements will happen in any relationship (if they don't, something is seriously wrong!), how far you take it is up to you. Now, me...I'm the ODQ...Original Drama Queen. I'll go toe to toe with yo ass! But hubby knows that...

Changing lanes...this season I have been completely infatuated with The Wire. That show is highly entertaining to me. Maybe cuz I went to school in Baltimore. Maybe because I know people who ARE these characters. Who knows? The writing on that show is amazing and has a story line so realistic, its scary. So here are my thoughts on this season and the finale that aired on Sunday.

Okay - the concept that revolves around the middle school kids is working for me. In real life, thats about the age these impressionable kids get roped into "the life". If you think its high school, you're being naive. By high school they done this and done that. It might be too late. Michael is the big youngin. His moms is an addict and he takes care of a little brother, Bug, who might be 6 or so. He asked the drug kingpin's hitmen to take care of Bug's dad who just got home from jail. And they did, but it came at a cost. Any guesses? Right, Chris and Snoop take Michael under their murderous wing and teach him the game. In the finale, Michael and Bug got their own little crib, Michael's having sex, robbing folks and then catching his first body. It's probably a thousand kids that got started in the game the same way Michael did. If reality tells us anything, Michael probably won't make it through the next season without getting killed or locked up. And yet, I like the character of Michael. Here's a young man that has been thrust into an adult life because of his moms addiction. You can tell he cares for his little brother and since the writing on the show is so good, you can almost see the changes in him from when he's first shown, as a young, kinda quiet kid to this kingpin-in-training that is capable of murder. Hooked yet? One of the other kids is Dookie or DuQuan...like Michael, his mother/folks are addicts and they're so scandalous, they steal his school uniforms and anything else that ain't bolted down. If you ever been to Baltimore and seen this side of the city, you know thats the truth right there! Dookie is endearing as well and you want to stand up and applaud the former cop-turned-teacher, Prez, that washes Dookie's uniform and offers him the gym showers before school. Dookie has nothing and in the finale, his folks have been evicted from the rowhouse and Michael tells him he can crash with him and Bug. So he does and flashes of him hustlin on the corner tell us that he gets turned on to the life too. This makes me a little sad but, again, since I know reality, I know that there are Dookie's in this world. Randy is another child coming up in the hood with Michael and DuQuan. He gets into trouble by simply being someone's mouthpiece. And when people think that he's snitching to the police, his life becomes one big mess: the boys at school try to go at him and then they toss a Molotov cocktail into his and his foster mothers home. You know this won't be good. The mother is in ICU at the hospital and its back to group home for Randy, where they promptly steal his money and beat him down. The lesson in this one is obvious: don't even look like you've been talking to the police. And finally, Naymond. Naymond is the son of a gangsta from seasons 1-3, Wee-Bey. All season long, Nay's mom has been pressing him to be the gangsta that Wee-Bey was. She even steps to the cats on the corner and makes them give Naymond a "package". The kicker here is, Naymond is NOT his father. You can tell the boy is soft in that area. He talks big trash, but when it comes to throwin down, Naymond gets ghost. There are two problems here: Naymond's mother and the expectations that Naymond is supposed to live up to. First off, Naymond's mother is holding on to the glory years long gone. Wee-Bey is now locked up for life and she's still trying to maintain the lifestyle that she became accustomed to when Wee-Bey was the man, running shit. Second, both Naymond and his mother have these ideas that Naymond is supposed to be Wee-Bey, because he carries his fathers name. In the finale, Wee-Bey & Naymond's mother (after getting put in her place by Wee-Bey) allow Naymond to go live with Mr. Colvin (another cop turned teacher). The last shot of the season finale is of Naymond on the porch of Mr. Colvin's house, getting ready for school when he sees one of his old crew in a stolen car. You can almost feel Nay's emotions: is he glad he's not on a corner anymore? or is he missing the lifestyle? Stay tuned.

If you ain't watching the wire...hop on it! Its really the best thing on HBO or regualar TV for that matter.

2006-12-06T08:09:00.000-05:00

Karrine, Carmen & Kim

A friend at work asked me last week if I had read the new Essence. I was like, "Whose on the cover?" When she told me that Diddy and Kim Porter were, I rolled my eyes. Let me be clear, I'm a true Diddy hater. I think he's full of himself and expects people to treat him like the Pope. Him and Kanye are the biggest egos in the entertainment industry and what have they really done? Diddy's biggest contribution to hip hop will be that he "discovered" Biggie. No more. No less. And Kayne...he's the biggest cry baby ever. But I'm getting sidetracked here.

So I went online and printed out the Essence article and here is my impression: Kim Porter is a fool and Diddy came off as the self-absorbed pinhead that I thought he was. In the article, he "boasts" that all kinds of women want him but "...if a woman approaches me, she's going to feel like she's stepping up for the championship of the world". There are so many wrongs in that one statement, I can't even dignify. He also states that "she completes me" but obviously NOT since he's still working on being a complete boyfriend and not a complete father/husband. Perplexing.

Now as for his baby momma - she got all kinds of issues. She came off really racist with the "little Puerto Rican girlfriend" comment and the "does she look like the type that would want to play house and family with two little Black kids?" remark. HOLD UP! Did Jenny LoLo steal your man or did your man walk off with his own two legs? Hmmmm....for two years he flaunted his "not real" relationship. Wrote songs for the girlfriend and maintained that he would always love her even though she was dating and marrying other men. But that was okay! Because he was still calling her 50-60 times a day!

And then when Diddy said that "I'm used to applause when I walk in the room"...I wanted to hurl all over my desktop. But then again, what do we really expect from a man that pays someone to hold an umbrella for him?

The long and short of the Essence article is this: Kim Porter got herself three kids and no commitment from her narcisstic, egotistical jackass of a "boyfriend"...but everything is hunky-dory. It's all love. I saved the article to show my daughter when she gets older. So she will know that babies don't guarantee a commitment and self esteem is so much more important than having and keeping a man.

Now, on to Carmen Bryan (Nas' baby momma) and Karrine Stephens (aka Supahead & supposedly Kool G Raps baby momma)...

I haven't read these books by these two women. However, I have read many articles on them and their exploits, and having some insight into the music and entertainment biz, I can speak to the stories they are trying to tell.

Is there money in being a groupie? I suppose there is, hence the book deals, articles, and tv shows written about women who get knocked up by someone famous. Is there any glory in being a groupie. I think not. Groupies are booty-calls to whatever hotel in whatever city. They are the girls you call to put on a thong and be fillers in your video. They are not wifey material. Rappers and athletes don't often marry groupies and they damn sure don't sport them in public.
Lets start with Karrine. She wants money and she wants a lifestyle. She thought she could get it by having sex with athletes and rappers. She was, for the most part, wrong. Sure, they put you in their videos and they mighta bought you a car and a crib, some jewelry and clothes, but eventually...the video won't be in rotation, your car will breakdown, your crib will get too small, your jewelry will seem too insignificant and your clothes will be out of season.

Carmen thought her golden ticket was punched when she had Nas' baby. Things didn't work out, she supposedly slept with a few more stars and now she has a book to tell us all about it. There's not that much else to say. Sure, she could bash Kelis' step-parenting skills but whats the point of that? She's not going to get her baby daddy back and with it being public knowledge that she's slept with so-and-so, her chances of finding that brass ring are significantly lower.

Folks, we will have to continue this topic at another time...when K-Fed's book hits the stores and its in the 99 cent bin at the Salvation Army. LOL

The lesson learned for today is this: "Money affords nice things but it doesn't buy happiness", as I tell my daughters.

2006-12-05T08:36:00.000-05:00

HOT OFF THE PRESSES

I am sitting here at work with no work to do. And thats okay with me since I'm in "just chillin" mode anyways.

Last night, my hubby blessed me with Mary J. Blige's new album, "Reflections (A Retrospective)". Street date is Tuesday, December 19th, I believe, so its an exclusive and yes, a perk of having a spouse in the music biz.

First, don't look to this blog for an unbiased MJB review. I love her! My life and her music fell into some strange parallel universe and it always seemed that whatever she was singing about - I was going through in one way or another.

Second, I've met Mary and she's quite nice. She had a meet & greet before her No More Drama Tour at MCI Center (2002, I think?). That was the first time I saw her sing live and she did not disappoint. I saw her this summer on her Breakthrough Tour in Baltimore. When Mary sings live, she goes to churrrch and you know she's feelin every single word of it.

So back to the new cd...only 4 new tracks and the rest are some of her greatest singles, "Family Affair" "No More Drama" "My Life '06" "Be Happy" and "I'm Going Down" to name a few. All MJB fans should cop it.

As a child of hip-hop, I love the old stuff. Salt'n'Pepa, Rakim, Run DMC, MC Lyte, old school LL Cool Jay, Nas, Biggie, Tupac, Snoop, Ice Cube...they just don't make it like that no more. Now, every song got a dance to go with it. And sampling other peoples beats and music has just taken off into a whole new level. I heard a rap song that recreated Spandau Ballet's "True" and they didn't just take a beat...they jacked the whole song. It sounds horrible. Sorry to some of ya'll hip hoppers under 30...but Puffy killed originality years ago.

My favorite Emcees (living or dead and in no particular order): The NOTORIOUS B.I.G., Tupac, Talib Kweli, Eminem, Rakim, NAS, Method Man, Slick Rick & Doug E. Fresh, Rah Digga, MC Lyte, Snoop, Ice Cube...

Do you see where I'm going with this? Real lyricists with real shit to say...

2006-11-30T14:14:00.000-05:00

My HOT List

Crazy internet videos a la YouTube...MAN! Where do people find the time to think up and actually do this crazy stuff. I have see the funniest shit on the internet. A life size dancing (I mean really groovin') Dora the Explorer, a whole rap song about fried chicken, a flaming and hysterical tribute to a Beyonce video with complimentary wigs and very Tina Knowles-ish outfits, and one of my favorites...the two young guy that do their rendention of the Backstreet Boys songs...so heartfelt, so feeling...so insanely funny!!

Overseas/BiRacial Adoption...Long before Brad and Angie, my parents were compassionate people that opened their hearts to not one but two children born in a foreign country. And that was when they were in their 50's and after they had three grown children of their own. Fashionable in the early 70's? I think not. Kudos also go to Tom & Nicole, Hugh Jackman, and Meg Ryan.

The guilty pleasures of reality TV...some shows out there are just plain dumb or have run their course (Fear Factor and Survivor come to mind). My favorites are Project Runway, America's Next Top Model, Flavor of Love and Cheaters. I only recently got hooked on Flavor of Love and let me tell you...I caught on just in the nick of time! It never ceases to amaze me what folks will do to be on your TV. To publicly profess your love for Flava Flav? To cry, curse and carry on like a certified lunatic because he don't want yo ass for a second time? That ain't must see tv...that must be reality tv!!!

Dave Chappelle...funniest comic out there! I mean, c'mon, the man that brought you the racial draft, the black grand wizard of the you know who, when keepin it reals goes wrong, crackhead Tyrone, a "gangsta" Wayne Brady, and the muppets singing about STD's. If you can't laugh at his stuff, you need you're funny bone checked out! PS - Dave, I ain't mad atcha from walking away from Comedy Central.

My NOT HOT List

Divorce...Hollywood Style: Is it really imperative that we know all the nasty little secrets of a "celebrity" couple? Brit&Kev, Reese&Ryan, Pam&KidRock...it's info overload as far as I'm concerned. Instead of the inevitable "Irreconcilable Differences" how bout a box on the the petition that says, "I've had enough" or "Tried to make it work and failed". And then keep it movin'!

40+ year old women that wear skirts three inches above their knees and 2 inches below the crack of they old ass! Whats up with that? Why are you most certainly someone's grandmother and you dressing like you going to the Legends (or excuse me, the Ascot) after work? I'm not saying you need to wear a MuMu but please! Lets age with some dignity. Just cuz you been someone mama since you was 13 doesn't mean you need to try to recapture your lost youth at 40 or 45. Put some damn clothes on.

OJ's book and interview...all I'm going to say is: is it absolutely necessary to remind the world you got away with it? Sheesh!

Channel 4 News getting rid of all the news cast that I grew up with! For me, the Sports Machine pre-dates ESPN by many, many 'o' years. You had to stay up until 5 minutes to 12 to watch that bitch...but you got all your sports in. Arch Campbell, while I didn't agree with him even half the time, was a News4 staple. Whats next, Channel 4, getting rid of Bob Ryan and the Farmers Almanac?! Ya gonna auction off one of Wednesday's Children?!

Being the parent of a celebrity/athlete and donning your childs jersey or chain at every opportunity. We know you are proud of your baby! But is the only thing you have in your closet a jersey with your boy's number on it? If so...why?! I was in Atlantic City a while back and this woman was pissed off the people at the Ralph Lauren OUTLET were not bowing down to her. Out flew "Oh, you must don't know who my son is!" It was funny then and its funny now. I got issue with a variety of things in that situation...#1...whoever your son is supposed to be, why are you at the outlets in Atlantic City as opposed to the Shops at Caesars Palace in Vegas? *clearing my throat* You can't run game on someone that actually knows HOW TO PLAY the game! Get wit it! #2...just who in the hell are you to pull the "you must don't know" card? I don't care who your child is...why should you be treated differently than any other paying customer?

The NEVER HOT List

Public Racial tirades...Sure! Let the whole world know you are a insensitive bigot, why don't you? You're a "star"...you can get away with it! NOT. It reflects poorly on you, your family (because *NEWSFLASH* believe it or not, the way you were raised has a lot to do with how you view people of other cultures, races and religions), and countless other things. If you want to be a racist prick...do it in the comfort of your own home, please.

2006-11-28T08:08:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a rare occasion that I took the Metro home and I HATE it. Despise it with every fiber of my being. As I'm walking down the escalator I see this woman with a ponytail that looked really familiar. She was going up and I was going down but that didn't stop me from blurting out my sisters name. Halfway up, she turns around...sees its me and starts running down the up-escalator. It was funny as hell, just like in the movies.

We hugged and exchanged our "where the hell have you beens" and phone numbers too.

I guess some explanation is due. I have two younger sisters. Although not blood related, we grew up together. You know how you've known someone more than half your life and you feel like God forgot to make them biologically yours? Thats how I feel about my sisters. And we're not talking about friends for a few months and we shared clothes. Nu-uh! I'm talking about people that know exactly who you are, your flaws, your imperfections, AND your deep dark dirty secrets. Real sisterhood. And I found it after 5 or more years at the Metro. Thats a hoot.

So I ended up talking to my sister for about 3 hours last night. She divorced my brother in law almost five years ago (which I knew about) and she's engaged again to a new guy (which I didn't know about). I was so happy to hear that her and my brother in law were honest to goodness partners in parenting my 2 nieces and nephew. They just realized that after nearly ten years of marriage, they were better friends than spouses. Hey, whatever works and makes you happy is my motto. So I am proud that she's handling her business. Both of my sisters are. And that make me feel...just like a beaming older sister.

It also got me to thinking about my friends. If you've been keeping up, you will remember that I mentioned losing a very good friend in May. The loss cut really deep and truth be told, I still mourn. Her name was Kim. We met in high school and stayed friends for years after that. And then, as sometimes the path in life takes you in different directions, we lost touch. We found each other maybe like 6 or 7 years ago and picked up like no time had passed us by. We'd go out to eat, shop, watch movies. Just good old hanging with your girl stuff. And when she passed, I didn't have it anymore.

"Finding" my sister and also another really good friend from high school (thank you, internet!) made me realize the value of friendship and certain truths that you hold close. Friendship doesn't necessarily mean chatting on the phone everyday or going to every birthday party. Hell, I talk to my one sister maybe 3 or 4 times a year and see her less than that. But when you love someone, you care about them and what happens to them, regardless of how much time has passed between that last phone call or that last visit. If you had an arguement or some sort of falling out, a real friend will be like, "now what in the hell made us stop talking again?" or better yet, "it musta been something so petty, I don't even remember". My sister told me last night, "I haven't seen you in five years, but if you called me and told me we had beef with some chick...I'm peeling off the earrings to fuck a bitch up."

In the last few years, I have seen female friends come and go for whatever reason. Some with hard feelings and bitter words, others just drift away. What can I say? I've never really liked females (my bullshit level is pretty low so I find most to be petty as shit) and have always gotten along with guys better. But I've made lasting friendships with a few girls that I used to work with and well, since reconnecting with my sister and my other friend from school, I feel pretty fufilled. I lost Kim in May and there is no replacing a Kim. Won't even try to.

So, folks, I have come full circle. I really believe the friends I have now were truly meant to be in my life. And that is a wonderful feeling.

2006-11-27T13:31:00.000-05:00

Be thankful!

Let me give you the good breakdown on my Thanksgiving: we left downtown DC at 1:00 pm and did not get to our "cabin" in the woods until 6:00. Where did we go, you ask? North Carolina? Nope. Williamsburg. The google directions said it would take 2 hours. LOL. They should add a button to the google directions that says, "factor in holiday traffic".

Anyways, while happy homemakers and hostesses were slaving away in their kitchen on Wednesday and Thursday, I was in a hot tub in utter bliss. I didn't cook a damn thing the whole time we were gone! Not even sm'ores! We had a ridiciously large buffet at the lodge that was pretty good (not Mom's homecookin) but really decent. And while the husband hollered when he heard the buffet was $35.99 for each adult, he was in a turkey induced coma by halftime of the Cowboys game. Guess it didn't bother him that much.

The kids had a ball. They swam and played and scavenger hunted to their hearts delight. A good time was had by all.

I get home and what is one of the first things I hear about? A 23 year old groom in NYC getting shot by cops! A damn shame, I say. I am not anti-cops, first and foremost. But most of my personal experiences with them is fucked up to say the least.

Case and point, when me and RDB got into an arguement in DC, I went to the police station on Benning Road. I waited and finally this dumb ass desk jockey asks me what I want. I told him that I wanted to file an assult charge and he asked me what happened. The long and short of it was, we got to arguing and RDB slapped the food I was eating out of my hands and onto the floor. Do you know what one of DC's so called "finest" said, "was there ketchup on that burger?" I stormed out of there yelling, "and you dumb muthafuckas wonder why people take shit into their own hands". True story.

Another true story that gives you an idea as to why I don't trust cops is this: A few months after my daughter was born, I was at an apartment complex and these three bama chicks I had beef with showed up. They were with some flunkie and told the dude, "hey...go rob that girl over there." Talking within earshot and pointing to me! Why, why, why? Dude walks to the car like he's going to do that shit and I very calmly pulled my .380 out of my purse and laid it on the front seat. A year later, I hear that one of the chicks is now a county police officer. Dirty, isn't it?

Last true story for you to digest: A while ago, a college student was shot by a so called undercover cop. It made news because by all accounts, this young man was an upstanding citizen and father to an infant daughter. I knew this cop. He used to patrol my old neighborhood. He was dirty with a capital "D". He was notorious around the way for robbing drug dealers, beating folks down when they were cuffed, smoking PCP with the neighborhood prostitues and generally being a jackass. To make it worse, he was acquitted in the young man's death. A civil suit is pending by the young man's mother and daughter and I hope they get MILLIONS.

Its a shame when a few bad apples can ruin the bunch. I know some folks in law enforcement and their job is by no means easy or safe. But when you add racism, fear, and major power/ego-trips into the mix - you are certainly asking for a volitile situation to erupt into something much more.

As always - off the top of my head...the djs wife

2006-11-22T13:07:00.000-05:00

The day before Thanksgiving!

I have to admit, this year I'm pretty hype. We are taking our kids to the wilderness and going camping 2006 style. That means we are in a $325 suite at a lodge in the woods. Hey, thats my idea of roughing it.

It should be fun and with the past baby momma and baby daddy drama that me and my husband have been through the last few weeks...we deserve a rest!

So I hope everyone out there eats and enjoys...back next week!

2006-11-15T15:41:00.000-05:00

The DJ's wife on...

Being the poster child for Planned Parenthood.

Nah, I'm not really, but I damn well should be. I should speak to middle school and high school girls all over the country and warn them about the perils of adolescent relationships. And of course, I would talk to them based on my very own relationship with MY daughters father who, from this blog on, will be referred to as "RDB". Retarded Daddy's Blood. Go figure.

Anyhow, I began this relationship with RDB when I was a mere 23 years old. I was single and free to run the streets and so was he. And we did. Together.

Now, in the beginning - all was lovely. We laughed and played and dated like normal couples do. Went to concerts, comedy shows, plays, the whole nine. All was bumping along pretty nicely and about 2 years in, we find out we are expecting. Joy. Apprehension. An overwhelming sense of responsibility that I had not felt in all of my 25 years. The emotions ran wild. Was I ready? Who cares? I was in "love" and everyone KNOWS that when you are in love and having a baby, you're going to make it work, aren't you? So wrong. Mistake #1.

Mistake #2 came when, at about 4 months pregnant, we moved into a dinky 2 bedroom apartment together. I was working at a firm downtown. He was slangin' rocks on the block. Why lie?! He did make an attempt at doing the right thing by doing various odd jobs. But in the end, the hood loved him and he loved it back. Plus, what did Caine say in Menace? "Working for minimum wage was never my style..." Yeah that was RDB all the way. We argued about not having enough money. We fought a few times. When I was 6 months along, we fought so badly, I ended up getting choked on the kitchen floor and he ended up getting pistol-whupped by a pretty pissed off pregnant woman...you guessed it, mistake #3. Still, I was tryin to make it work for the sake of our unborn child.

And then our daughter was born a few months into 1999. She was 7 pounds, 3 ounces of perfect. Things pretty much stayed the same the first six months of her life. We loved a lot. We fought a lot. Back and forth, back and forth.

And then one day, RDB's newly released from prison friend came over to our apartment. He had asked for water but we ran a self-service household so we told him where the glasses were and "get it yo self". He came out into the living room where I was and shook one of the baby's glass jars. In it, little pieces of rock rolled around. Instead of losing it completely, I played it off. But inside, I was heated. Really heated.

It all started to make sense. The noises at 3am. The request to keep the glass baby food jars. This fool was cookin up in my kitchen!

To make a long and tragic story short...I ended up leaving RDB in December of 1999. A mere 9 months after our child was born. While it felt like a hard decision, it really was easy to see that I needed to be gone. And so I left.

I stayed single (but dated) most of 2000. In 2001, I met the man that would be my husband. There was no looking back.

Every once in a while, I will hear from RDB. He'll say some off the cuff remark about what his chances are with me (nil) and how much he misses me. LOL. Don't believe it - I don't.

Our lives went on: he went on to have another child with some young dumb thang, and I of couse got married.

And that would be the story that I would tell, if I were the spokesperson for PP.

2006-11-13T14:27:00.000-05:00

What a sad Monday morning for me!

First of all, I spent all weekend cleaning my house. It was long, long overdue. It took two days, if that gives you any idea at all and lets just say the jack-o-lantern my daughter carved was in the Sunday trash all moldy and shit. So it sucked to be me this weekend.

Second, I was probably the only person on the planet that didn't know Gerald Levert died on Friday. HOW SAD! He was really one of my favorite singers. Such great ballads. My prayers go out to his family and friends.

I lost someone close to me earlier this year and it fuckin sucks dinosaur eggs. More on that later though.

So, hubby made it home safely. I was glad to hear that resonating snore once again, even if it meant the loss of covers and bed space.

My brother...he's so funny. He's an IT "geek" if you will. He's been trying to get me to get a myspace page. I'm reluctant and at this point, almost dead set against it.

My husband has a myspace page. My brother has one. My girl friend has one. My 15 year old niece has a myspace page that my brother found and promptly grounded her for having. Just insanity. So what is the big freakin deal, here?

I don't know how to work the shit so I usually just go to my husband's page and look at his friends. The aforementioned brother and girl friend are "friends" of his on the site so I usually just link from his to theirs. On the plus side, they've found friends from high school that live all over the country. People that you were friends with that you'd still be friends with if time and distance didn't pull you apart.

BUT some of these other "friends". Lawd...they look so STANK. These chicks...some of them so busted looking - they look like Flavor of Love rejects, ya hear? And lets not get on the shit they say cuz thats even worse.

Now, I can be mad that these bitches... and you bitches know who you are...or not. I chose not. My hubby is in the music biz. I'm in real estate. Ain't nobody tossin me panties to get a building made. But these bitches, they'd blow you for a Lil Wayne CD and blow your buddies buddy for a free promotional tee shirt. So shit is different. But lets put it in perspective...

*TRUE STORY*

My husband was set to open for a soul artist at a club in DC. 2 hours before the show, we're both knocked out at home. Him on the couch, me upstairs sprawled out on the bed. 30 minutes before we're supposed to be at the club, he's runnin upstairs talking about, "if you coming with me, we got to go!". I had on sweatpants and a cotton tee-shirt and flip flops. My hair was pulled back into a ponytail (for which I am famous) and not a speck of makeup on. But I wanted to go, so I rolled outta bed, brushed my teeth and hopped in the car.

While my hubby is dragging his crate of records to the dj booth, I park the car. On my short walk to the club, I walk past these two young broads. One of them says, "Oh I hope she ain't..." and her friend was like, "Say no..." Guess the sweatpants had them fucked up! Needless to say, these bitches was gussied up in the best their part-time job money could buy. They came to the club to get themselves a man. I, however, did not.

The moral of the story, folks is this:

You bitches buy a "special outfit", pay to get into the club, beg these dudes to buy you a drink, and pray one of them takes you home or to IHOP afterwards.

I'm that bitch that rolls out of the bed with sweats on, sits in the best seat in the house, getting free drinks all night AND gets a cut of what you paid at the door.

THANKS!!!!

2006-11-12T13:38:00.000-05:00

"Who are YOU?"

A long time ago, I was having trouble in a relationship. I had emailed my friend and mentor and asked him how he had been so successful in his realtionships and his response boiled down to "Who are you?"

That single piece of advice changed the way I looked at relationships. Who was I? Did I even know? If I didn't know who I was...how could I expect someone else to know what I wanted from a relationship? Question after question, it always came down to who I was.

In hindsight, I wish someone would have asked me that when I was younger. Before my first boyfriend. But would I have knows who I was at 15? How about at 20? Shit! I'm still asking the question at 33.

Why the ranting? Well, I feel sometimes as though I've lost myself. I'm a mother. I'm a wife. I'm a working professional and a friend. Sometimes, I think that who I am as a person has been lost in motherhood and marriage, work and friendship. I used to have dreams.

As a child, I wanted to be a sports journalist. A female Wilbon/Kornheiser. Then, as I got older, I wanted to be a novelist and screenplay writer. That dream fizzled. I had to major in something at college, so I chose Elementary Education. I even taught 4th, 5th and 6th graders at one point. But that was before my own children and by the end of my first school year, the novelty had worn off. If these damn kids won't listen to their own parents, why in the hell would they listen to me? After the teaching stint, I lost my way.

So the dream was deferred. I dropped out of school. I went to work in the corporate world. I had a child. I lost my way yet again. I found myself yet again. I got married. I starting supporting the dreams of my husband and daughters. And my dreams....well my dreams would have to wait, wouldn't they? I had obligations to others and my support was important to them. Maybe it would be my support that nutured them to actually achieve their dreams.

And that is something that I never did.

2006-11-08T14:08:00.000-05:00

I am so over the whole school thing. Really.

Today my hubby left for a conference in New York City. While I will miss him for the 5 days that he is gone, I honestly love sleeping in that king size bed by myself some days. I love that I can fall asleep with something else other than SportsCenter on the tube. I love that his LOUD snooring will be keeping one of his co-workers up and not me! So wrong, but so true!

So Brit & K-Fed's shocking - or NOT - news of their impending divorce got me to thinking about celebrity relationships/marriage, who it's for and who its clearly NOT for... so lets make some observations

Brit & K-Fed...when its all said and done with, Brit will be a studio enhanced Vegas lounge act and he will still be in the background breakdancing and pop-lockin...

Kayne & his fiancee...I hope that ole gal is a certified massage therapist because she's going to be stroking that MASSIVE ego for the rest of her life.

Whitney & Bobby...ok, I'll say it...they lasted longer than anyone would care to admit. But now that its done, lets let her focus on her recovery and getting back to making music. And thanks for one of my favorite catchphrases, "Hell to-the-naw".

Brad & Angelina...as an adopted child, I salute their dedication to orphaned children. As a human being, I say it's just completely unfair for two stunningly beautiful people to reproduce.

Tom & Katie...get married already! Maybe when you've settled into boring domestic marital bliss, the paparrazzi will leave you alone...but maybe not. Katie, blame Tom, he's the one that couldn't contain himself and had to shout it from the mountaintops.

JLo & Marc Anthony...I got Jenny Lo-Lo overload when she was dating Ben Affleck, so please, please, please get knocked up so you'll fall off the radar all together!

A Massive Brain Fart

2006-11-07T11:27:00.000-05:00

As ideas go...its really hit or miss with me. While I've been known in some circles to come up with some really innovative, useful ideas - other times, not so much.

While I was sitting at my desk yesterday, I thought to myself, "I should go back to college!"

So I called my childhood mentor, who just happens to be the Director of Admissions at a university in Baltimore. I told him that I wanted to start my own business and have creativity and passion but no business savvy (and no money). I also reminded him that I have most of my undergrad requirements done and that my major back in the day was, um, elementary education. He told me to send him my transcripts and he would look it over, and from what I had told him, that maybe it would take about 2 years to get a business degree.

The minute I hung up the phone, panic started to set in. WHAT AM I DOING?! Whose going to pay for school? When would I go? Shouldn't I run this bright idea past my husband?!

So what do I do when I get home? I call my little sister who had knocked out undergrad and grad school in ten years all the while bearing three children. She's like, "Do it. You won't regret it. Think about the future money you could gain." All very good and valid points. *SIGH* She is the last person to call if I wanted someone to talk me out of going back to school.

So who could I call to talk me off the ledge? And I just drew a blank. Are all my friends really "pro-go-back-to-college"? I thought about it for a while in the evening until the domestic demands of my husband and daughter beckoned. Real life a callin'.

I went to sleep without a commitment of any sort. No application had been filled out. No tuition paid. No classes attended. The pro's of going back by far outweighed the con's.

So what in the hell was I afraid of?